DC Launches Credit Card Line So You Can Afford Outrageously-Priced Comics

Comics prices today are out of control, with DC long ago abandoning any attempts to "hold the line at $2.99" as a four-dollar price point is seen as simply a good place to start before tacking on a dollar for special covers here, a dollar for additional content there, six dollars for an anniversary number there, and so on. And with publishers putting out more and more comics each month, some shipped twice monthly, to a stagnant superhero comics readership, that puts more and more strain on the wallets of individual readers who need to purchase more and more books at higher prices just to keep up with the adventures of their favorite tights-wearing masked adventurers.

Where does it end? Won't somebody do something to stop the madness?!

Finally, DC Comics has the answer. No, they're not going to publish fewer books or lower the prices to a reasonable level befitting a book that takes five to ten minutes tops to read and contains just one part of a five- or six-issue "story," itself just one chapter in a larger narrative. Instead, they're teaming up with the UMB Financial Corporation to release a line of DC-branded credit cards!

"It's the same DC Comics you know and love, now with more usury," said DC Comics new Vice President of Crippling Debt under the latest bi-monthly management restructuring, Professor Thaddeus T. Puffinbottoms. "Now you can buy all the comics you want to read without worrying about the price tag. Just put it on the card and forget about it! All you have to do is pay the minimum payment each month… for life, or until you declare bankruptcy. What better way to fully immerse oneself in the comics industry than that?"

Dubbed the DC Power Visa (to make you think you're the one holding all the power as creditors are bending you over the bathroom sink), the cards come with Ultimate Hero Rewards points, including 3x points on entertainment purchases (at least ostensibly, comics count as entertainment), 2x points on dining and gas (because you need gas to drive to the comic shop and a Big Mac or two on the way for energy to walk around the store), and 1x points on everything else (hah! as if you can afford anything else after paying for all these comics!). You'll also get a $50 movie ticket promo code after incurring your first $500 of high-interest debt, plus 10% off a DC Universe subscription, 10% off DC merchandise at their online store, and 20% off WB Studio Tour Hollywood and merchandise. And the best news of all: the hauling away of all of this useless junk will be performed for free by the repo man once you can no longer afford the monthly payments.

"Let them eat cake," said DC Publisher Dan Didio in response to questions about the cards, probably.

In typical DC fashion, there are seven credit card designs to choose from, and three of them feature Batman. Also in typical DC fashion, this is something Marvel already did five years ago. Get yours today at dcpowervisa.dccomics.com!

DC Launches Credit Card Line So You Can Actually Afford Comics

DC Launches Credit Card Line So You Can Actually Afford Comics

DC Launches Credit Card Line So You Can Actually Afford Comics

DC Launches Credit Card Line So You Can Actually Afford Comics

DC Launches Credit Card Line So You Can Actually Afford Comics

DC Launches Credit Card Line So You Can Actually Afford Comics

DC Launches Credit Card Line So You Can Actually Afford Comics

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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