Kate Kotler and Elliott Serrano write for Bleeding Cool;
This week Kate and Elliott give suggestions on where to meet like-minded geeky people to a fellow geek who says he spends everyday in "No-Geek-Land."
I've been a huge fan of the column so far and I can't wait to see where you go next!
So, my problem is that I'm having a lot of trouble just finding someone to date. I'm a 23-year old comic artist and I work in a comic shop. However, I live in a town/ city built around a high school. This means there is NO ONE around my age (online didn't seem to help much either). Especially no one around who likes or is into the stuff I like and am into.
Sadly, I've never had a girlfriend and I've only dated one girl. She wasn't into all the geeky stuff (comics, cartoons) I was, but she was a geek in her own right (liked Buffy, Firefly, horror movies) and we meshed well.
What is a good way to meet someone like that again?
Stuck in No-Geek-Land Everyday
A fan! Well, hello there fan, thanks for writing in!!
Not surprisingly, SiNGLE you're not the first person to write in asking where/how to meet geek guys or girls. Given that I was just interviewed for an article about the "rise of geeks in the dating scene" (I know, it sounded stupid to me, too) I'm a little surprised that everyone is having so much trouble meeting geeky like-minded people to hang out with.
My first instinct is to suggest online dating sites like OKCupid or Plenty of Fish, as it seems to me, that regardless of location both of those sites seem to boast plenty of interesting, geeky-type people to potentially date. However, you've already stated that online dating didn't work so well for you. So, I'm going to move on… (Though, I'd encourage you to give it another shot if you have the patience. You get out of it what you put into it, and, you might just need to be a little more interactive with the people you're interested in meeting from whatever online dating service you're using.)
I'm curious: Is the comic shop you work in located in the town that you live in? Because if it is, it seems kind of weird that no age-appropriate comic loving chick has ever wandered into that store… Try paying closer attention to the people who come into the store to buy comics. I'm almost positive that there has to be at least one girl in that grouping of people that perhaps you've overlooked.
If that doesn't work for you, my next suggestion is to try looking outside your immediate surroundings. Look online for geeky events going on in the nearest big (ish) city… try heading out to one of those and chatting up gals you see at those events. (Make sure to be friendly, not creepy, though!) Further: You could even search for potential dates online by looking for single women interested in geeky-type guys in the nearest city to you. Lots of big cities have geeky meet-up groups, too – while they're not dating focused, they're great ways to meet new people. (For example: Chicago has the monthly Chicago Geek Breakfast – which is happening this Thursday, 9/15. I will be there if I can drag my sorry ass out of bed…)
I guess my point and main suggestion is to try looking outside your immediate surroundings. As a geek, this may be uncomfortable at first – but, push yourself to do it, as not only will it increase the chances you find someone you romantically mesh with, but it is good practice for your career (as networking is the way comic creators get work). Not to mention, you likely will end up with some new, fun, geeky friends… Good luck! Let us know what happens!!
SiNGLe, unlike my partner here, I'm not a big fan of the online dating scene. I always prefer meeting people in social settings that take place in the real world, whether it's at a party, get-together or comic convention.
And that may be the key to you meeting someone…comic and sci-fi/fantasy conventions. If the town you live in has one, go to it, but also be sure to attend the 'after-con' festivities. They usually take place at the hotel or bars nearest the convention center. These sorts of get-togethers usually results in people feeling relaxed, laid-back, and looking to be social. If your town doesn't have a comic-con, find the nearest town that does. You and some buddies can make it a road trip and scope out the scene in a 'big city.'Heck, if your shop does business at comic conventions, ask if you can be part of the crew that works the show. You get free admission and a chance to "scope the landscape" so to speak.
The point being, if you're not meeting anyone in the town you live in, strike out to other towns and into social settings where you can meet more people in your age range and with similar interests.
Also, have you checked out any of the college campuses nearby? The student rec center usually has bulletin boards where they post events and other social gatherings. You could start up a comic-book club or something of the sort to attract the college crowd. You may want to consider taking some night classes at the local college, which would not only be a way to advance your education, but also get to meet new folks as well. Especially if it's an art course. Soooooo many geek gals take art classes, if you signed up to work on your drawing skills you're sure to meet one.
Now, I'm not saying go to school to troll for women, even though on the surface it appears like I am. What I am saying is to get yourself outside the boundaries of the comic shop. Like Kate said, get outside your comfort zone. Travel to other cities. Meet new people. Get out of the bubble you're living in. You can meet women with similar interests almost anywhere.
Oh, have you been to the library? You'd be surprised at the number of librarians that like comics. And damn, they are hot.
-Don't forget, if you have a geeky dating conundrum you need help with, you can email us at firstname.lastname@example.org – we'll do our best to help… well, at least Kate will.
Until next week, KYPO!
(Say it "KAPOW!" It'll make this column feel more comic-y to you.)