SWERVED: Mystery Power Outage Obscures Predicted Maddow/Trump/WWE Ratings Beatdown

trump-mcmahon

Last night, Bleeding Cool brought you breaking news about the start of a new "Monday Night Wars" wherein pro wrestling organization WWE would take on a new challenger. This time, rather than rival organization WCW, it was MSNBC journalist Rachel Maddow who was fighting with WWE's Tuesday night Smackdown Live broadcast for ratings. In order to siphon viewers from the weekly facepunching extravaganza, Maddow had a secret weapon: Donald Trump's tax returns! Of course, the returns turned out to be from 2005, two years before Trump participated in the main event of Wrestlemania 23. But still, the unveiling of any of Trump's long-hidden returns was sure to bring in lots of viewers.

While we expected the dust to have cleared by now, and a major ratings loss for WWE Smackdown in the wake of Maddow's revelation, WWE had one more classic wrestling swerve up their sleeve that not even Vince Russo could have booked, and no, it wasn't that Trump's taxes were suspended from a pole above the ring along with Judy Bagwell. Apparently, a mysterious power outage in Florida, home of ratings company Neilsen's data processing facility, and, coincidentally, WWE's own Performance Center complex, has delayed the release of the ratings. As a result, we don't know what effect Trump's taxes had for this epic battle of the titans.

Who was behind the mysterious power outage? Is this the same person who was Diamond Dallas Page's mysterious benefactor? Were they driving the white hummer? Was this person also responsible for blowing up Mr. McMahon's limo (and how did he ever survive tha… oh yeah)? Was it Rikishi, doing it for The Rock?! Or was it…

AW, SUNNUVABITCH!

Just as in some of those wrestling angles above, we may never know the answer to this question, but stay tuned to Bleeding Cool, where we'll be milking this for as long as we possibly can.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!

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