Jim Lee Awakens from 4-Day Nap to Learn He's Suddenly in Charge of DC Comics

DC Publisher Jim Lee was in for a rude awakening on Sunday — literally. The superstar artist reportedly settled down for a long nap in his office Thursday and woke up Sunday morning to find that all hell had broken loose at DC Comics. Dan Didio, also the DC Publisher at the time Lee went to sleep, had been fired,┬áleaving Lee the lone publisher and the de facto only person in charge.

"I have to do WHAT now?!" an upset Lee was heard remarking in his office after DC staffers told him the news. As far as anyone could tell, for the past ten years, Lee's job description at DC Comics had essentially been just to "be Jim Lee." Show up at conventions with Didio to talk to crowds. Draw a variant cover once or twice a year. Promote his fashion backpack line. Occasionally help Didio pull a bucket off DC Editor-in-Chief Bob Harras's head whenever he got it stuck in there. Who could have dreamed that he would wake up one morning to find he actually had to manage the day-to-day operations of a major comic book company?

By noon on Sunday, Lee had been heard openly wondering how he could possibly keep up with the demands of being DC's only publisher while still maintaining his rigorous drawing schedule before everyone within earshot, including Lee himself, broke out into raucous laughter. "No, but seriously, this sucks," Lee said. Bleeding Cool reached out to Dan Didio for comment by phone, but all we could hear was the sound of a shirtless, bald-headed man sipping frozen alcoholic beverages out of a coconut with a tiny umbrella while seagulls cooed in the background.

At press time, nobody at DC Comics' Burbank headquarters had been able to locate Geoff Johns, who sources tell us is currently hiding in a janitorial closet on the twelfth floor. We'll keep you updated on this situation as it develops.

Jim Lee Awakens from 4-Day Nap to Learn He's Suddenly in Charge of DC Comics

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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