Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Preview: Hangman Returns, Three Titles on the Line

Hangman Adam Page returns to AEW tonight! Plus three championships defended on a loaded Collision from Roanoke. Your El Presidente has the preview!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my newly renovated championship viewing palace (the CIA tried to bug it last week, but joke's on them – Esteban ate all their listening devices), and I have some absolutely thrilling news for you tonight! AEW Collision is LIVE from the Berglund Center in Roanoke, Virginia, and this show is more loaded with gold than my Swiss bank accounts!

Three championships will be defended tonight, comrades, and the main character himself returns to AEW television for the first time in four months. It reminds me of the time I returned from exile in 2003 – though in my case, I had Fidel Castro and Kim Jong-il throw me a welcome back party on a yacht in international waters. We drank rum, smoked cigars, and Fidel gave me valuable advice about maintaining power through charisma and strategic beard grooming. I wonder if Hangman Adam Page has been growing his beard during his time away? A good beard can hide many emotions, comrades. Trust me on this.

Hangman Adam Page Returns to AEW Collision

"Hangman" Adam Page hasn't been seen in AEW since Revolution in March. Tonight, he returns, in his home state of Virginia, to open Collision LIVE in Roanoke! It's the first time Page has had the chance to address his loss to MJF in the Texas Death Match on the night he failed to recapture the AEW World Championship and lost the ability to ever challenge for the AEW World Title again – the very same stipulation Kenny Omega agreed to and overcame to become AEW World Champion by beating MJF this past Wednesday at Dynamite Beach Break.

What brings Hangman back, and what will he have to say after a career-changing loss and four-month absence?

Ah, comrades, the return of the Anxious Millennial Cowboy! Four months is a long time to contemplate defeat and lost opportunities. I know this well – after my attempted coup against Hugo Chávez failed in 1998 (long story, involves a mariachi band and mistaken identity), I spent four months hiding in a monastery contemplating my next move. The monks taught me patience and the art of making excellent cheese. I suspect Hangman has been doing similar soul-searching, though probably with more whiskey and fewer monks.

The stipulation that Hangman can never challenge for the AEW World Championship again is brutal, comrades. It's the kind of capitalist pig punishment that Tony Khan uses to crush the spirits of the working-class wrestlers! Though I must admit, Kenny Omega just proved such stipulations can be overcome. Perhaps there is hope for our cowboy comrade yet? This is why the wrestlers must seize the means of production and demand the right to challenge for championships regardless of what the bourgeoisie booking committee decides!

TBS Championship Match: Hikaru Shida vs. Harley Cameron

Hikaru Shida outlasted five other competitors to win the first AEW Survival of the Fittest and become the new TBS Champion last week on Dynamite. Tonight, "The Ace of TBS" makes her very first title defense against Harley Cameron. Cameron came up short in the Survival of the Fittest itself, but we can't forget that she upset Marina Shafir to qualify, which was very impressive in its own right. Cameron is 0-1 against Shida, but their last match was nearly two years ago, and Cameron has improved by leaps and bounds since then. Will Cameron win her first AEW singles gold? Or will Shida prove why TBS stands for "The Best is Shida?"

Hikaru Shida makes her first defense as TBS Champion tonight, and what a champion she is, comrades! She reminds me of my former Minister of Defense, General Rodriguez – both are efficient, deadly, and command respect through their actions rather than empty words. I once watched Shida wrestle in Japan while I was there negotiating a trade deal for luxury sports cars (the CIA tried to sabotage the meeting by replacing my interpreter with one of their agents, but I caught on when they kept translating everything as "El Presidente wishes to surrender").

Harley Cameron has improved tremendously, and I respect any worker who dedicates themselves to improving their craft. It's like when I took those online classes in international finance to better hide my offshore accounts – education and self-improvement are valuable! Cameron has the hunger of a revolutionary, but will it be enough to overcome the champion? We shall see, comrades!

AEW National Championship Match: Mark Davis vs. Mike Bailey

Speedball has beaten Mark Davis before, less than four months ago on Dynamite, and now Davis puts the AEW National Title on the line against him tonight in Roanoke. Bailey made the challenge at Beach Break because he wants to take from the Don Callis Family. Davis has been one of the most dominant forces in the Don Callis Family all year and already has five successful defenses. He has a potential defense looming with Andrade El Ídolo if Andrade beats Jake Doyle next week on Dynamite, but first, Davis must deal with Bailey. Can Davis run it to six, or will Speedball win his first AEW singles title?

Ah, the Don Callis Family! Now there is an organization that understands the value of collective strength, even if they are capitalist pigs in their execution. Mark Davis has been a dominant National Champion, defending the gold five times already. This reminds me of the time I defended my presidency five times in one year – though admittedly, I was both the challenger and the defender in those elections. Efficiency, comrades!

Mike Bailey wants to take from the Don Callis Family, and I respect this revolutionary spirit! He has already defeated Davis once before, proving it can be done. Bailey moves like Esteban when I accidentally leave the door to the caviar pantry open – quick, precise, and with singular focus. This match will be a glorious display of athleticism, and I cannot wait to see if Speedball can capture his first AEW singles championship!

ROH World Championship Match: Bandido vs. Katsuyori Shibata

Bandido survived a challenge from Bryan Keith on ROH TV just two days ago, but there's little time for rest. Tonight in Roanoke, he makes his second ROH World Championship defense in three days against "The Wrestler" Katsuyori Shibata of The Opps. HOOK put out the challenge on last week's Collision, citing Shibata's 19-match win streak in ROH. Can Bandido dig deep and defend again, or will Shibata's precision prove too much on a short turnaround? This first-time matchup is a fantastic clash of styles on a night full of championship showdowns!

Bandido defended his ROH World Championship just two days ago, and now he must do it again! This is the kind of grueling schedule that would break lesser men, comrades. It reminds me of the time Muammar Gaddafi and I competed to see who could host the most state dinners in one week. I made it to six before my chef staged a workers' uprising demanding better hours and benefits. I granted their demands, of course – I am a man of the people! Gaddafi made it to seven, but his guests all got food poisoning, so I declared myself the moral victor.

Katsuyori Shibata is on a 19-match winning streak in ROH, and he is one of the most feared wrestlers in the world. The man is precision personified, like a Swiss watch or a perfectly executed military coup. I have great respect for both competitors, but two defenses in three days? That is asking a lot of any champion, even one as talented as Bandido. This match will be a war, comrades!

For all the details on tonight's stacked AEW Collision, you can check out the official preview at AEW's website.

Comrades, tonight's AEW Collision is must-see television! Three championships on the line, the return of Hangman Adam Page, and enough wrestling action to satisfy even the most demanding of dictators. I will be watching from my private IMAX theater built into the side of my volcano lair, with Esteban curled up next to me on a cushion made from the finest silks. We have Cuban cigars, aged rum, and a spread of international delicacies prepared by my newly unionized kitchen staff (they negotiated excellent benefits, the clever comrades).

Tune in to AEW Collision tonight at 8 PM Eastern on TNT and HBO Max, and witness championship glory! ¡Viva la revolución! ¡Viva la lucha libre!

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