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AEW Dynamite Preview: MJF vs. Briscoe + Survival of the Fittest

MJF defends the AEW World Championship against Mark Briscoe in tonight's opener, plus six women battle in Survival of the Fittest for the TBS Title.

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Article Summary

  • Comrades, AEW Dynamite opens with MJF vs. Mark Briscoe for the AEW World Title, and capitalism may finally be pinned.
  • Briscoe enters AEW Dynamite with momentum, a Jay Driller MJF has never escaped, and the people’s righteous fury.
  • Six women clash in AEW Dynamite Survival of the Fittest to crown a new TBS Champion through glorious elimination.
  • Shida, Statlander, Maika, Persephone, Harley Cameron, and Queen Aminata battle like socialist heroes for capitalist gold.

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my diamond-encrusted submarine currently navigating the waters off the coast of San Diego, and do I have some electrifying news for you tonight! AEW Dynamite is about to deliver a show so explosive, it makes my last attempted coup look like a children's birthday party (and not just because it featured a CIA agent disguised as a clown)!

Mark Briscoe yells intensely into the camera at ringside during AEW Dynamite, with a fallen opponent behind him. The AEW Summer Blockbuster backdrop is visible in the background.
Mark Briscoe gets amped up on AEW Dynamite during the Summer Blockbuster show.

Tonight, the capitalist pig MJF must finally face the music—or should I say, the redneck—as Mark Briscoe challenges him for the AEW World Championship in the opening match of AEW Dynamite. And comrades, this is not just any match. This is a reckoning, much like the time I had to face Fidel Castro in a domino tournament after he accused me of cheating at our weekly poker game. (For the record, I was cheating, but so was he, so it balanced out, no?)

AEW World Championship: MJF (c) vs. Mark Briscoe

AEW Dynamite promotional graphic featuring AEW World Champion MJF on the left and Mark Briscoe on the right, with a match-up banner between them.
AEW Dynamite preview graphic for MJF vs. Mark Briscoe in an AEW World Championship match.

MJF's nightmare scenario is here. He bought the most talented team he could assemble from the Don Callis Family, but money couldn't buy him a win on Sunday. When Mark Briscoe pinned him after a Jay Driller (and a timely defection by Andrade El Ídolo), Briscoe earned himself a shot at MJF's AEW World Title. And minutes later, he decided that shot would come tonight on Dynamite in San Diego, where the AEW Championship will be on the line in the first match of the night!

Briscoe knows he can beat MJF. He just pinned him on Sunday, and the last time these two met one-on-one, Briscoe had no problem getting his hands dirty to defeat MJF in a Tables N' Tacks Match this past September at All Out. Plus, MJF has never kicked out of the Jay Driller. If Briscoe hits that tonight, the AEW World Title could be coming home to Sandy Fork, Delaware.

Ah, comrades, this warms my revolutionary heart! You see, MJF represents everything wrong with capitalism—he thinks he can buy his way out of any situation, assembling mercenaries like Don Callis collecting bounty hunters. But just as the CIA learned when they tried to bribe my cabinet ministers with American pizza franchises (they were very tempted, I must admit), money cannot buy loyalty or victory when the people—or in this case, Mark Briscoe—have righteousness on their side!

I remember once, Kim Jong-un and I were watching a Tables N' Tacks Match on my solid gold television, and he turned to me and said, "El Presidente, this Briscoe fellow, he fights like a man with nothing to lose." And I responded, "Yes, comrade, much like the time we stormed that CIA listening post in Pyongyang and you used a stapler as a weapon." Good times, comrades. Good times.

The beauty of this situation is that Briscoe has already pinned MJF at Forbidden Door. He has the psychological advantage, the momentum, and most importantly, the Jay Driller—a move MJF has never escaped! This is the equivalent of having nuclear launch codes, comrades. You don't need to use them often, but when you do, the impact is devastating. I should know—I keep mine next to my capybara Esteban's food bowl. He guards them jealously while munching on imported Belgian chocolates.

TBS Championship Survival of the Fittest: Six Women Battle for Gold

AEW Dynamite promotional graphic for the TBS Championship Survival of the Fittest match, featuring Maika, Harley Cameron, Hikaru Shida, Persephone, Kris Statlander, and Queen Aminata around a championship belt.
AEW Dynamite TBS Championship Survival of the Fittest graphic.

What began with 12 athletes is now down to six qualifiers who will battle it out in AEW's first-ever Survival of the Fittest, with the winner earning the vacant TBS Championship. But it won't be one decision that crowns a new champion. Survival of the Fittest is an elimination match, so to win, you truly have to survive. This is only the second women's Survival of the Fittest ever, with ROH Women's World Champion Athena winning the first for a successful title defense at ROH Supercard of Honor in May. None of these women were in that match, so in that respect, they enter on even ground.

Persephone and Shida were the first to qualify for this match back on June 13 at Collision Summer Blockbuster. Statlander qualified a week later, and last week, Cameron and Aminata joined the field with wins on Dynamite. The final spot was determined this past Sunday at The Buy-In, when STARDOM's Maika defeated Skye Blue.

Comrades, survival of the fittest! This is a concept I understand intimately, having survived no fewer than seventeen assassination attempts (eighteen if you count the time Steven Seagal challenged me to a hot pepper eating contest—my stomach still hasn't forgiven me). Tonight, six magnificent warriors will battle in elimination format, and only the strongest will emerge victorious!

We have Hikaru Shida, a former AEW Women's World Champion who fights with the honor of a samurai. We have Kris Statlander, the only woman to have held both major AEW women's titles—a distinction I can relate to, as I am the only dictator to have held both the presidency AND the position of "Supreme Commander of Really Cool Stuff" in my nation. We have CMLL World Women's Champion Persephone, Harley Cameron, Queen Aminata, and STARDOM's Maika—each representing different corners of the wrestling world, coming together in glorious combat!

This is what I tried to explain to the CIA operative who infiltrated my palace disguised as a yoga instructor last month. "You see," I told him while Esteban nibbled on his shoelaces, "true competition makes everyone stronger. These women, they do not fear each other—they respect each other while trying to destroy each other. It's beautiful, like when Muammar Gaddafi and I used to have competitive palace decorating contests. His golden statues were gaudy, but I respected the commitment."

The elimination format means every woman must be at her absolute best, not just once, but potentially five times! You cannot rely on one lucky pin—you must be the last woman standing. This reminds me of my annual "Survive El Presidente's Birthday Party" contest, where cabinet ministers must outlast each other in celebration. The winner gets a promotion. The losers get to keep their jobs, which is also quite nice.

What makes this match even more compelling is that while Statlander has championship experience, five of these women are hungry for their first taste of singles gold in AEW. Hunger, comrades, is a powerful motivator. I once went three days without my favorite imported caviar because the CIA had blockaded my yacht, and when I finally got some, I ate seventeen kilos in one sitting. These women have that same hunger, and someone will finally feast tonight!

The preview materials for tonight's spectacular show come courtesy of AEW's official website, and I encourage you all to check it out for additional details, comrades!

So tune in tonight at 8 p.m. ET/7 p.m. CT on TBS and HBO Max for what promises to be an absolutely revolutionary edition of AEW Dynamite! I will be watching from my submarine's luxurious viewing theater, complete with a full bar, a team of chefs preparing a seven-course meal, and Esteban lounging on his custom-made velvet cushion. We may even surface near San Diego if the mood strikes us—though I should probably check if I have any outstanding warrants in California first.

¡Viva la revolución! ¡Viva AEW Dynamite!

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

As a lucrative side hustle from his job as the duly-elected leader of a socialist dictatorship, His Excellency El Presidente reports on his favorite elements of American pop culture, most notably its highest forms of artistic expression: pro wrestling, comic books, and reality television. Yes, comrades, even international despots are affected by the gig economy. Unfortunately, since the CIA sabotaged his extremely popular 1-900 hotline, El Presidente has been forced to partner with the capitalist pigs at Bleeding Cool to deliver his message directly to the people. When not dodging extradition requests or international sanctions, he enjoys long walks on the beach with his collection of championship belts and arguing with his own body doubles about booking decisions. Read his latest posts, or die like dogs... the choice is yours!
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