Another almost perfect Friday night, once again utterly ruined by Tony Khan and his neverending personal vendetta against The Chadster. There The Chadster was, minding his own business, enjoying WWE Smackdown on Fox, when suddenly, Smackdown ended, and AEW Rampage came on TNT. Of course, The Chadster had no choice but to watch it, thanks to his journalistic duties at Bleeding Cool. And of course Tony Khan knows this, because he has been paying off the management of Bleeding Cool to make The Chadster's life miserable. So the Chadster, who always does his job, set aside his joy at watching WWE and tuned into AEW. It was all downhill from there.
The Chadster has never been so aggravated by an episode of AEW Rampage in his entire life. From the opening match that saw Darby Allin defeat Cole Karter, to an interview with Keith Lee backstage where Shane Taylor randomly showed up and challenged Lee to a match on the next ROH PPV, to FTR accepting a challenge from The Acclaimed to face them for the AEW World Tag Team Championships on Dynamite next week, to Jeff Jarrett and Jay Lethal defeating Private Party in a tag team match, to Saraya declaring her intent to go after the AEW Women's World Championship in an interview with Renee Paquette, to Athena squashing Dani Mo, to the big brawl following Orange Cassidy's defense of the All-Atlantic Championship against QT Marshall that involved Kip Sabian and the House of Black, from start to finish, AEW Rampage was clearly designed just to cheese The Chadster off.
Needless to say, there was no going to sleep after that episode of AEW Rampage. The Chadster was way too heated for that. So The Chadster decided to take a walk. The Chadster took a stroll through the woods, grumbling to himself about how Tony Khan was ruining his life. Every step of the way, it seemed like AEW was taunting him, with the birds singing the theme song of AEW Rampage, and the squirrels making obscene gestures at The Chadster. Even the trees seemed to be in on it, as they all seemed to sway in the breeze in the same rhythm as the AEW entrance theme. The Chadster stopped to take a breather at a small clearing, only to find a family of deer looking at him curiously. The Chadster was sure they were on Tony Khan's payroll, sent to mock him. He glared at them and yelled, "You think this is funny? You think Tony Khan can get away with ruining The Chadster's life like this? The Chadster is gonna put a stop to this once and for all!" The deer just stared at The Chadster, unblinking. The Chadster just shook his head in disgust and continued on his way, mumbling to himself about Tony Khan and how he was going to get revenge.
Thanks a lot, Tony Khan! You ruined The Chadster's night again! Watch highlights from AEW Rampage below.