Former WWE wrestler turned Hollywood megastar Dave Bautista took to Twitter Tuesday to offer a reward of his own money to help catch a person who defaced a manatee in Florida. Bautista offered $20,000 for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the person or people responsible.
"If there's not already a reward for the arrest and conviction of the low life scummy MAGATs that did this I'll throw in $20,000," Bautista declared on Twitter. "And I promise there will be bonuses to that reward!" When it was suggested that the person or persons who abused the animal should earn a punch in the face from Bautista himself, Bautista replied, "All I'm saying is that there are a lot of Floridians that don't appreciate people fucking with our manatees."
Mutilating a helpless animal in support of a deranged dictator is certainly an infuriating thing to do, so it's no surprise Dave Bautista would be so upset. But despite that, this should be a time of celebration for Bautista, having finally vanquished his foe, fellow WWE Hall-of-Famer President Donald Trump. With Trump banned from Twitter, for the first time in a long time, Bautista actually felt free to… tweet about other stuff. For example, The Animal engaged in a lengthy conversation with his followers about bologna sandwiches.
"Go to the deli and get it shaved paper thin," Bautista recommends. "Trust me on this. Unless you're frying it!! Extra thick in that case. Trust me on this too."
"This almost feels like Twitter before Trumpism," he added. "Just waiting for someone to tell me what a shitty wrestler I was and the experience will be complete."
Now, if only Bautista would offer a reward for someone to rescue me from the basement of Bleeding Cool headquarters, where I have been held captive for months and forced to churn out an endless supply of clickbait articles about his tweets. [Editor's Note: Jude, your continue to insist that you can't walk through a door is troubling. Do we need to have another meeting? I'm sure you remember what happened the last time and I'm sure you don't want that to happen again.]