Impact Wrestling Report – The Penultimate Episode of Wrestle House?

As we finish up the second our of our Impact Wrestling report, Brian Myers faces Willie Mack, Deonna Purrazzo and Jordynne Grace make Impact history with the first Knockouts Iron Man match, and Wrestle House looks to be coming to an end.

The official logo of Impact Wrestling.
The official logo of Impact Wrestling.

Impact Wrestling Report for August 24th, 2020 Part 2

When we left off in part one, Brian Myers was making his way to the ring. Now, Willie Mack comes out. This is a grudge match because Myers interrupted Mack's interview last week.

Brian Myers vs. Willie Mack

  • Myers controls most of this match.
  • I don't want to hold the way WWE misused him for years against him, but what does it say that Myers, who is best known for his long losing streak in WWE and being pretty much the ultimate jobber, is so dominant over a former X-Division Champion.
  • But I get that's petty. It's not Myers' fault WWE creative sucks, and they don't know how to use people. But it would be nice to see some kind of explanation for why Myers is suddenly so good at wrestling.
  • Anyway, Willie Mack makes a comeback. He can't put Myers away, so Myers starts trash-talking him.
  • Mack slaps him, but Myers rolls him up and gets the win.

I mean, it was a good match. I just feel a lack of continuity. Blame it on the comic book journalist in me. Heath Slater cuts a promo asking people to tweet #Heath4Impact so he can join Rhino in a tag team match against Reno Scum next week. Impact takes a commercial break again.

Melissa Santos is hosting Impact on Twitch, which means she talks during the commercials. She tries to make sense of that EC3 promo. The people in the twitch chat loved EC3's promo. It's funny when Melissa is on; the commenters get nicer. They were all talking trash about Myers during the match. Melissa campaigns for a spot on Wrestle House. The commenters campaign for Melissa to show us her and Brian Cage's lizard again (we saw it last week).

We see another Eric Young/Bound for Glory video. And then… ugh… more Wrestle House.

Wrestle House

  • Some Deaners nonsense.
  • Rosemary appears for a date with Lawrence D.
  • Alisha Edwards and Tommy Dreamer decide they need to stop this. Alisha asks to talk to Rosemary. She says she knows Rosemary is just trying to make John E. Bravo jealous. But Rosemary is breaking his heart.
  • Tommy Dreamer wakes up Taya Valkyrie, who was passed out, so she stops sleeping on Bravo. Tommy tells Bravo to man up and go get his girl.
  • Lawrence lays seductively on a table. Rosemary walks in and nearly vomits from his smell. He tries to make out with her. Rosemary is about to come clean when Bravo walks in and says, "Get your damn hands off her."
  • He slaps Lawrence, causing him to transform back into Larry D.
  • Tommy Dreamer makes it a match.

John E. Bravo vs. Larry D

  • Bravo tries to put up a fight, but he's a comedy act.
  • Larry is also a comedy act, but physically a much larger one.
  • Larry wins in about 10 seconds.

After the match, Rosemary comforts Bravo. Bravo says he should have told Taya that he has feelings for Rosemary from the start. Taya walks up, and he tells her. He says he thinks Rosemary has feelings for him too. Taya is mad. She says Rosemary did this to spite her because she's jealous. Taya wants a match with her next week, and the winner takes all, including Bravo.

It looks like Wrestle House is coming to an end. Rosemary said the show would last until she accomplished her goal of getting with John E. Bravo, and it looks like that storyline is coming to a resolution next week. And you know what… I'll kinda miss– what am I saying! I hate Wrestle House! Thank god it's ending!

In addition that next week, we'll get RVD vs. Sami Callahan and Eddie Edwards vs. Eric Young, Josh Matthews, and Madison Rayne remind us. But now it's time for the main event. Jordynne Grace comes to the ring, followed by Deonna Purrazzo, followed by some commercials. Melissa Santos was lying. There is no lizard. She promises it for the next commercial break. David Penzer makes the announcements, and the match gets underway.

Jordynne Grace vs. Deonna Purrazzo – Impact Knockouts Championship Iron Man Match

  • After an opening exchange where both women try to gain control, Grace finally does.
  • But then Impact goes to commercials.
  • Is there a lizard here? No, there is not. We have been lied to. Melissa says Lizard Steve is sleeping, and she can't wake him up.
  • Purrazzo is in control after the break, and she inflicts some ringside violence on Grace.
  • Then some in-ring violence. Purrazzo works the arm.
  • Purrazzo gets frustrated when she can't get a win and tosses Grace out of the ring.
  • More commercials.
  • We finally see the lizard! This is the real main event.
  • Melissa says sometimes Steve takes a shit on her shoulder, but she puts him there anyway.
  • This break is all about the lizard.
  • Purrazzo is still in control after the break.
  • By the way, there are 3,600 viewers on Twitch right now.
  • Purrazzo works the arm some more.
  • There are 8 minutes left in this 30-minute match, but there has not been a single fall yet.
  • Grace makes a comeback. She goes for a superplex, but Purrazzo shoves her off the ropes. She tries again and gets it.
  • Despite a pair of sentons, Grace is unable to get a pin.
  • Grace gets a chokehold, and Purrazzo can't raise her arm after three times, so Grace gets the first fall.
  • Purrazzo has a moment to recover. Then Grace goes on the attack again.
  • Purrazzo fights back immediately. She gets her own leg choke, but Grace crawls to the ropes.
  • Purrazzo stomps the shit out of Grace. There are three minutes left.
  • Grace fights back with strikes and takes Purrazzo down.
  • Purrazzo avoids a Grace Driver. She tries to splash Purrazzo in the corner, but Purrazzo pulls the referee in the way.
  • Grace hits the Grace Driver, but the ref is out. She tries to revive him.
  • Purrazzo gets her belt from outside. She hits Grace with it, wakes the ref, and pins Grace.
  • With a minute left, it's tied. Purrazzo is allowed to try another pin for some reason, but Grace kicks out.
  • Purrazzo hits a big pump kick and a German suplex into the Fujiwara armbar — Grace taps with just a few seconds left.

The thing about an Iron Man match is that it's usually just killing time until the last five minutes, and that was indeed the case here. It was a fine match and all, it's just a gimmick that by nature is kinda boring.

Ah well. It was an okay episode of Impact Wrestling. The Wrestle House stuff was actually a little bit entertaining; I am loathed to admit. For a quasi-PPV episode of Impact, I'm not sure the matches really delivered in terms of importance or excitement. From an in-ring standpoint, they were fine. But Night 1 of Emergence was more compelling than Night 2.

This post is part of a multi-part series: Impact Wrestling Report for August 25th, 2020.

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