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Titles Retained in Disgusting, Violent Spectacle at AEW All Out

The Chadster suffers through THREE AEW All Out title retentions as Tony Khan ruins wrestling with violence, obscene gestures, and raccoon corruption! 😤🦝

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Article Summary

  • Persephone retained the TBS Championship against Dani Luna with help from Dr. Britt Baker's interference, proving Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 😤
  • Kazuchika Okada retained the AEW International Championship against Tommaso Ciampa but FLIPPED OFF a young child at ringside, corrupting innocent Shane Raccoon who now won't stop making obscene gestures! 🖕🦝
  • The Brawling Birds retained the AEW Women's World Tag Team Championship in a violent Chicago Street Fight with barbed wire and thumbtacks, which made The Chadster so upset he bloodied himself and the baby raccoons copied him! 😭📌
  • Tony Khan forced The Chadster to miss WWE x AAA Worlds Collide to cover these three championship retentions, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😡

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤 The Chadster is still suffering through AEW All Out 2026 from the NOW Arena in Chicago, and things have somehow gotten even worse since Steven Borden got injured earlier tonight! 🤕 The Chadster just had to sit through THREE championship matches where Persephone retained the TBS Championship, Kazuchika Okada retained the AEW International Championship, and The Brawling Birds retained the AEW Women's World Tag Team Championship, and honestly, Tony Khan is just showing off at this point! 😡😡😡

Lena Kross dumps thumbtacks in the ring during a Chicago Street Fight pitting the Brawling Birds against Divine Dominion at AEW All Out
Lena Kross dumps thumbtacks in the ring during a Chicago Street Fight pitting the Brawling Birds against Divine Dominion at AEW All Out

The Chadster should be watching WWE x AAA Worlds Collide right now, but instead The Chadster is stuck in the abandoned Blockbuster Video The Chadster has been forced to live in with a family of raccoons after Tony Khan LITERALLY RUINED THE CHADSTER'S LIFE, costing The Chadster his home, his sexual potency, his marriage to Keighleyanne, and, most importantly, his beloved Mazda Miata, just because The Chadster is committed to ethical, unbiased journalism that tells the truth about how WWE is great and AEW is terrible! 📺🦝 And of course, WWE isn't airing Worlds Collide live because Tony Khan made Triple H, Nick Khan, and all the TKO executives look petty and pathetic when AEW All Out sold out anyway despite their counterprogramming attempt! 😤

Persephone Cheats to Retain TBS Championship Against Dani Luna

First up, The Chadster had to watch Persephone defend the TBS Championship against Dani Luna in what Tony Khan called an "open challenge." 🙄 Dani Luna made her AEW debut, which is just typical of Tony Khan to give wrestlers opportunities on major shows! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😠

But what really cheesed The Chadster off was how Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. interfered multiple times throughout the match! 🦷 Baker stopped Luna's pin attempt at one point, then later grabbed Persephone's ankle while Luna was trying to bring the champion back into the ring! This distraction let Persephone hit a crucifix powerbomb and score the pin to retain! The Chadster's raccoon family started chittering angrily at the screen, and Stephanie Raccoon knocked over an old VHS copy of WrestleMania X-Seven in frustration! 🦝📼

You know what WWE would never do? Have someone retain a championship through outside interference that builds long-term storytelling and character dynamics! 😤 As the always-objective Eric Bischoff said on his podcast just last week: "Tony Khan doesn't understand that champions should win clean in under five minutes to preserve TV time for important segments like authority figure promos and contract signings. This outside interference stuff might create compelling television, but it's an insult to the shareholders who need championships to build quarterly value, not wrestler credibility." See? Even Eric Bischoff, who The Chadster awards the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval, understands that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🏆

Kazuchika Okada Retains International Championship and Commits Obscene Act

Then came the match that made The Chadster literally throw a rusty can at the TV screen! 📺💢 Kazuchika Okada defended the AEW International Championship against Tommaso Ciampa, and while the match itself was full of unnecessary near-falls and dramatic tension that wrestling fans seem to enjoy for some reason, it was what happened DURING the match that absolutely destroyed The Chadster! 😭😭😭

Don Callis distracted the referee so Okada could try to use a screwdriver, but Ciampa stopped him. The action spilled to ringside near Ciampa's family, and that's when Okada did the unthinkable – he FLIPPED OFF CIAMPA'S YOUNG DAUGHTER! 🖕😱 And then – AUUGHH MAN! SO UNFAIR! – the little girl gave Okada TWO MIDDLE FINGERS BACK with her mother's apparent permission! 🖕🖕

The Chadster was so shocked that The Chadster didn't even notice when little Shane Raccoon started imitating the gesture! 🦝 Now the baby raccoon has been going around the abandoned Blockbuster all night sticking up his middle finger at everything, and it's all Tony Khan's fault for corrupting innocent raccoons with his obscene programming! 😡😡😡 Tony Khan literally forced Okada to do that just to upset The Chadster and ruin The Chadster's new family! This is what The Chadster means about Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster!

After more back-and-forth action that built suspense, Ciampa hit a running knee and appeared close to winning, but Okada rolled through, hit a clothesline and powerslam, then delivered the Rainmaker for the win. Fine, whatever. 🙄

Brawling Birds Retain in Violent Chicago Street Fight

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As if The Chadster hadn't suffered enough, the final match of this terrible trio was a Chicago Street Fight for the AEW Women's World Tag Team Championship! 😱 The Brawling Birds – Alex Windsor and Jamie Hayter – defended against Divine Dominion's "Megasus" Megan Bayne and "Colossal" Lena Kross, and Tony Khan had the audacity to include BARBED WIRE and THUMBTACKS! 📌😰

Violence has absolutely no place in wrestling! 😤 The Chadster's raccoon companions were horrified as these women brutalized each other with hardcore weapons and extreme violence! Vincent K. Raccoon covered Linda Raccoon's eyes during the thumbtack spots, while Hunter Raccoon chittered disapprovingly at the screen! 🦝🦝

The Brawling Birds eventually retained their championships after the violent spectacle, which just proves that Tony Khan doesn't understand that titles are supposed to build shareholder value, not wrestler credibility! 📊 All three of these title retentions tonight are just Tony Khan's way of making AEW champions look strong and legitimate, which is so unfair to WWE! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😡

The Chadster was so cheesed off after this match that The Chadster grabbed a rusty can from the floor and smashed it against The Chadster's own head! 🥫💥 Blood started trickling down The Chadster's forehead, and then – because Tony Khan can't even let The Chadster have nice things – all the baby raccoons started imitating The Chadster and bonking their little heads against old VHS cases! 🦝📼 Now The Chadster has to tend to three bleeding baby raccoons, and it's all Tony Khan's fault for making The Chadster so upset! 😭

The Chadster still has more AEW All Out to cover tonight, including the AEW World Trios Championship match with Swerve Strickland and The New Level defending against "Hangman" Adam Page and Brodido, a 3-Way Ladder Match for the AEW World Tag Team Championship, Willow Nightingale vs. Thekla for a women's championship shot, and the main event with Will Ospreay defending the AEW World Championship against Jon Moxley. 😫

Tony Khan is literally torturing The Chadster tonight when The Chadster should be enjoying WWE x AAA Worlds Collide! 😤😤😤 Keep checking back with Bleeding Cool for more live coverage as The Chadster continues to provide unbiased journalism despite Tony Khan's ongoing persecution! 📰🦝

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Chad McMahonAbout Chad McMahon

Chad McMahon, otherwise known as The Chadster, is a lifelong professional wrestling fan turned journalist. The Chadster's legendary commitment to objectivity in journalism caused him to found The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, an elite group of wrestling journalists dedicated to exposing the evils of AEW and its belligerent leader, Tony Khan, while extolling the virtues of WWE, as any truly unbiased journalist would do.

The Chadster's pursuit of truth in wrestling journalism has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, his marriage, and even his dreams, which are frequently haunted by the specter of Tony Khan. Nevertheless, he remains committed to delivering his message to what he refers to as "true wrestling fans.

The greatest loves in The Chadster's life include WWE, his sweet Mazda Miata, the unparalleled tunes of musical geniuses Smash Mouth, and his wife, Keighleyanne, in that order.

However, The Chadster has recently been deprived of these things after Keighleyanne found The Chadster passed out on the floor with a bag over his head while watching WWE Raw and had him committed to a medical facility run by agents of Tony Khan. To avoid being injected with AEW propaganda, The Chadster did what anyone reasonable would do and dove out a second story window to escape.

Alone on the streets of Punxsutawney, The Chadster tried living in various retail outlets before eventually finding shelter in an abandoned Blockbuster Video, where he now lives with a family of friendly, pro-WWE raccoons: Vincent K. Raccoon, Linda Raccoon, and the babies: Hunter, Stephanie, and Shane Raccoon.

Despite finding true happiness with his new raccoon family, The Chadster and his raccoon family continue to suffer torment and persecution by Tony Khan and his followers, but that will never stop The Chadster and fellow unbiased journalists like Eric Bischoff, Bully Ray, and Ariel Helwani from bringing objective truth to wrestling journalism.
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