Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Preview: Stephanie Vaquer Challenges Liv Morgan Tonight

El Presidente previews tonight's WWE Raw from Birmingham: Stephanie Vaquer challenges Liv Morgan, Money in the Bank qualifiers begin, and more!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury skybox overlooking the Alabama countryside, where I am preparing for tonight's episode of WWE Raw with a spread of caviar that would make even the most corrupt oligarch weep with envy. My beloved capybara Esteban is already nestled into his custom-made wrestling ring pillow, ready to witness the chaos that only WWE Raw can deliver!

Tonight, comrades, the capitalist pigs at WWE are bringing us a spectacular show from the Legacy Arena at the BJCC in Birmingham, Alabama, and I must say, the card is more stacked than the bunker where I hide my offshore account statements from the United Nations inspectors. We have championship gold on the line, Money in the Bank qualifiers beginning, and the fallout from Sunday's main event that has left the landscape of WWE Raw more unstable than a military junta after a failed coup!

Stephanie Vaquer Challenges Liv Morgan for the Women's World Championship

Stephanie Vaquer reemerged from injury with one focus and one focus only: capturing Liv Morgan's Women's World Championship.Liv Morgan, however, is out to remind La Primera and all of WWE why she is "The Greatest Women's Campion of all time!"Who will leave Monday night at the gold? Find out tonight at 8 ET / 5 PT on Raw on USA.

Ah, comrades, this reminds me of the time I was recovering from a mysterious "food poisoning" incident (Ir did find out which of my food tasters the CIA bribed) and Fidel Castro challenged me to a game of dominoes for control of a small Caribbean island. Just like Stephanie Vaquer, I returned with singular focus and determination! The Chilean sensation has her eyes locked on Liv Morgan's Women's World Championship, and I must say, after Morgan's involvement in helping the Judgment Day at Sunday Night's Main Event, she deserves to have that title seized from her bourgeoisie grasp! This is what happens when the workers unite, comrades – they return from injury and demand what is rightfully theirs! Morgan may claim to be "The Greatest Women's Champion of all time," but as I always say, self-appointed titles mean nothing without the people's mandate. Just ask the seventeen different rebel leaders who tried to claim my presidential palace while I was on vacation in Monaco with Kim Jong Un and Dennis Rodman.

Joe Hendry vs. JD McDonagh

Joe Hendry will look for payback on the Judgment Day when he takes on JD McDonagh.

Hendry fell to AAA Mega Champion "Dirty" Dominik Mysterio last night at Sunday Night's Main Event, and it was due to the numbers game from the Judgment Day.

Can Hendry exact some payback on McDonagh or will the Judgment Day continue to run Monday nights?
Don't miss Monday Night Raw live TONIGHT at 8 ET/5 PT on the Netflix.

Comrades, Joe Hendry knows all too well about the numbers game! This is exactly like when the CIA sent not one, not two, but SEVENTEEN agents disguised as tourist photographers to infiltrate my annual Revolutionary Day parade. They thought their numbers would overwhelm my security forces, just as the Judgment Day thought their collective strength would be enough to stop Hendry at Sunday Night's Main Event! JD McDonagh and his capitalist cronies in the Judgment Day may have helped Dominik Mysterio defeat Hendry last night, with Liv Morgan distracting the official while the faction attacked at ringside, but tonight Hendry has the opportunity to strike back! The workers must unite against the oppressive regime of the Judgment Day! I once told Muammar Gaddafi at a yacht party in the Mediterranean that revenge is a dish best served with precision strikes, preferably coordinated with your loyal military commanders. Hendry must channel this wisdom and dismantle McDonagh piece by piece!

Rey Mysterio vs. Bron Breakker vs. Ethan Page – Men's Money in the Bank Qualifier

Rey Mysterio, Bron Breakker, and Ethan Page square off as the Men's Money in the Bank Qualifying Matches are set to begin tonight.
Who will be the first Superstar that will earn the right to battle in the total free-for-all to earn a briefcase containing a contract for a World Championship Match at a time and place of their choosing anytime within the next year?
Don't miss the first step to the epic Men's Money in the Bank showdown, tonight at 8 ET / 5 PT on Raw on USA.

Ah, the Money in the Bank briefcase – the ultimate symbol of opportunistic capitalism! Though I must admit, comrades, there is something beautifully socialist about a briefcase that allows the holder to seize the means of championship production at any moment! Rey Mysterio, the legendary luchador, faces off against Bron Breakker and Ethan Page in a triple threat qualifier that has more tension than the time I played poker with Vladimir Putin, Nicolas Maduro, and Steven Seagal (long story, comrades – it involved a film festival and several bottles of vodka). Breakker is coming off that chaotic Sunday Night's Main Event match against Oba Femi, where he was disqualified after Bronson Reed made his shocking return and attacked Femi with multiple Tsunamis! The big man's head must still be spinning like a propaganda wheel at one of my election headquarters. Meanwhile, Page has been making waves on WWE Raw, and Mysterio – well, the master never needs introduction, only respect! One of these three will take the first step toward Money in the Bank glory, and I cannot wait to see who emerges victorious!

Sunday Night's Main Event Fallout

"Big" Bronson Reed returned at Sunday Night's Main Event, shaking up Monday Night Raw in the process.

Don't miss all of the fallout from Sunday Night's Main Event live TONIGHT at 8 ET/5 PT only on Netflix.

Speaking of Bronson Reed, comrades, his return at Sunday Night's Main Event was more explosive than the time I had to escape from a CIA-planted car bomb by diving into a fountain with Hugo Chávez during a state dinner! Reed attacked Oba Femi with a steel chair and delivered multiple Tsunamis that would make even the most devastating natural disaster look like a gentle wave at the beach! What does this mean for Monday Night Raw? What are Reed's intentions? Will he target Femi again, or does he have his sights set on other victims? The fallout from Sunday Night's Main Event will dominate tonight's show, and I am here for every moment of it! We must also address Trick Williams winning the United States Championship from Baron Corbin, and Randy Orton defeating Cody Rhodes with a low blow and RKO – truly the tactics of a man who has studied my military strategy manuals!

Sol Ruca vs. Lyra Valkyria vs. Maxxine Dupri – Women's Money in the Bank Qualifier

Sol Ruca, Lyra Valkyria, and Maxxine Dupri square off as the Women's Money in the Bank Qualifying Matches are set to begin tonight.
Who will be the first Superstar that will earn the right to battle in the total free-for-all to earn a briefcase containing a contract for a Women's Championship Match at a time and place of their choosing anytime within the next year?
Don't miss the Money in the Bank qualifier, tonight at 8 ET / 5 PT on Raw on USA.

Comrades, this women's qualifier is more complicated than the alliance structure at a United Nations summit I once crashed with a fake diplomatic credential and Silvio Berlusconi! Sol Ruca and Lyra Valkyria have recent history, with Valkyria costing Ruca her title match against Raquel Rodriguez on the August 31st episode of Raw. There is bad blood here, comrades – the kind of bad blood that reminds me of when Saddam Hussein and I had that falling out over who got to sit in the best chair at Idi Amin's birthday party. Meanwhile, Maxxine Dupri was involved in that chaotic finish at Sunday Night's Main Event, handing Bron Breakker brass knuckles before Reed's return. She is no stranger to controversy! One of these three talented workers will earn their shot at Money in the Bank glory, and they must seize this opportunity like the proletariat seizing control of the factories from the capitalist pig owners!

You can check out WWE's official preview page for more information about tonight's stacked episode of Monday Night Raw.

Comrades, tonight's WWE Raw promises to deliver more action than the time I had to flee from a CIA extraction team while simultaneously negotiating a trade deal and teaching Esteban how to use a bidet in my presidential yacht! I will be watching from my private screening room, complete with a popcorn machine that was "liberated" from a Hollywood studio and a collection of championship replica belts that may or may not have been acquired through completely legitimate means. Join me, comrades, as we witness history unfold tonight at 8 ET/5 PT on USA! Viva la revolución! Viva la lucha libre!

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