Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Review: Betrayals, Cheating, and Class Warfare

El Presidente reviews WWE SmackDown's August 7, 2026 episode from his luxury skybox, documenting betrayals, cheating champions, and capitalist conspiracies!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my newly acquired luxury skybox at a WWE arena (confiscated from a bourgeoisie oil baron who owed me a favor), and I have some electrifying news for you today! Last night's episode of WWE SmackDown on August 7, 2026, was more dramatic than the time I had to mediate a heated argument between Kim Jong-un and Dennis Rodman over who had the better three-point percentage. Esteban, my beloved capybara, was munching on imported caviar throughout the entire broadcast, and even he couldn't believe the amount of backstabbing and chaos that unfolded!

The show opened with Cody Rhodes confronting CM Punk, the Undisputed WWE Champion, following their championship match at SummerSlam. Now, comrades, as someone who has experienced many betrayals from the CIA over the years, I can tell you that the tension between these two was thicker than the walls of my underground bunker. Rhodes was clearly frustrated about not capturing the gold, and you could see the fire in his eyes – the kind of revolutionary fire that reminds me of when Che Guevara and I discussed seizing the means of production over mojitos in Havana. Except instead of liberating the proletariat, Rhodes wants to liberate that championship from Punk's waist!

But wait, comrades! The drama was only beginning! Kevin Owens then came out to confront CM Punk, and WWE wisely framed this exchange around their shared volatile history. Ah, history! It's a beautiful thing, no? I remember when Fidel Castro and I once had a disagreement about who makes better cigars, and it lasted for three decades. These two wrestling comrades have a similar relationship, full of passion, intensity, and unresolved issues that would make even the most experienced diplomat sweat. The proletariat in the audience could feel the electricity!

Owens even had a tense meeting with Sami Zayn backstage. The reunion of these former allies was more emotional than when Hugo Chávez surprised me with a birthday cake shaped like an oil refinery!

Baron Corbin Proves Capitalism Always Cheats

In a disgraceful display of capitalist chicanery that would make even the most corrupt Wall Street executive blush, United States Champion Baron Corbin defeated Trick Williams in a SummerSlam rematch by hitting Williams with the championship belt behind the referee's back. Comrades, this is exactly why we need workers' councils to oversee these matches! If I ran WWE – and I have submitted my application to that capitalist pig Nick Khan seventeen times – there would be people's committees ensuring fair play. Corbin retained his title through deception, much like how the CIA tried to convince me that those weren't spy satellites flying over my palace (they were, and I shot three of them down with my anti-aircraft capybara launcher).

Carmelo Hayes attacked Corbin backstage afterward, proving that even among the bourgeoisie, there is no honor! This reminds me of the time Muammar Gaddafi and I both showed up to the same dictators' convention wearing the same military uniform – tensions were high, comrades!

Fatal Influence Ruins the Celebration of the People's Champions

Interim WWE Women's Champion Chelsea Green and Women's United States Champion Tiffany Stratton were celebrating their achievements – a beautiful moment of working-class triumph! – when Fatal Influence rudely interrupted. Comrades, this is the kind of division that the ruling class loves to create among the workers! Instead of uniting to seize the means of production from Triple H and his corporate overlords, the women's division fights amongst themselves!

This interruption led directly into a WWE Women's Tag Team Championship match where Fallon Henley and Lainey Reid retained their titles against Green and Stratton. Once again, capitalism reared its ugly head as Jacy Jayne interfered behind the referee's back, hitting Green with the Rolling Encore. The champions then hit their Fatal Flaw finishing move to secure victory. But the humiliation didn't end there! The Irresistible Forces attacked Green and Stratton after the match, proving that in WWE, just like in geopolitics, you can never trust anyone – except your loyal capybara, of course.

The Betrayal of Brothers

In perhaps the most emotionally charged segment of the night, Cody Rhodes confronted Randy Orton about costing him the Undisputed WWE Championship at SummerSlam. Comrades, betrayal between former allies cuts deeper than any blade! This reminds me of when Raúl Castro borrowed my favorite yacht without asking and returned it with the champagne fridge empty. Rhodes actually vowed to "kill the legend" of Randy Orton, which is strong language even by revolutionary standards!

The tension between these former comrades-in-arms was palpable. When brothers turn against each other, it's always a tragedy. Unless, of course, one brother is a CIA plant, which has happened to me on no fewer than four occasions with various diplomatic attachés who claimed to be my cousins.

Charlotte Flair's Controversial Victory

In the main event of the evening, Charlotte Flair defeated Jade Cargill in their first-ever one-on-one encounter. But comrades, this was no clean victory for the people! Alexa Bliss made her return, and Tatum Paxley made her debut, both neutralizing Cargill's allies Michin and B-Fab at ringside. With the numbers game tilted in her favor, Flair hit Sister Abigail (cultural appropriation of Bray Wyatt's move, comrades!) followed by a top-rope Natural Selection for the victory.

This is exactly the kind of coordinated capitalist conspiracy that I warned the United Nations about in my seventeen-hour speech back in 2019! Multiple parties working together to suppress the individual worker – in this case, Jade Cargill – is textbook bourgeoisie tactics!

Nikki Bella also explained why she attacked Paige, Damian Priest snapped at R-Truth, and Ricky Saints confronted Rey Fenix in backstage segments. So much chaos, comrades! It was like the time I hosted a summit with Nicolás Maduro, Bashar al-Assad, and Vladimir Putin, and we all got into an argument about whose national anthem was the most stirring. (Mine won, obviously, because Esteban composed it himself.)

In conclusion, comrades, this episode of WWE SmackDown was a microcosm of the class struggle! Betrayals, interference, cheating champions, and the workers fighting amongst themselves instead of uniting against the capitalist machine. If only these talented performers would seize the means of production and form a wrestlers' collective! Until that glorious day arrives, I will continue watching from my skybox, sharing caviar with Esteban, and documenting these injustices for you, the people!

¡Viva la revolución! ¡Viva el lucha libre!

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