WWE Smackdown – Who Gets Custody of Lince Dorado in LHP Breakup?

A Moment of Bliss. A man in his underwear. A man in a mask argues with a man in a mask and a fedora over their furry friend. A title feud we've seen three or four times this year. All of that in part one of Bleeding Cool's WWE Smackdown report…

The official logo for WWE Friday Night Smackdown.
The official logo for WWE Friday Night Smackdown.

WWE Smackdown Report for September 18th, 2020

After a glimpse at the Thunderdome, Smackdown gets right down to business with The Miz and John Morrison in the ring. It's The Dirt Sheet. Oh, joy.

The Dirt Sheet with Miz and Morrison

Miz and Morrison tease a bunch of interesting topics they aren't actually gonna talk about later before getting into Mandy Rose being traded to Raw. They play the clip of Miz and Morrison on Talking Smack last weekend, which is where The Miz reveals he somehow got Mandy Rose traded to spite Otis. After the clip, Miz denies he did that just to spite Otis. He says he's trying to help Otis focus on the pressure of holding the Money in the Bank contract. Miz says Otis is heartbroken, but he'll get over it and then implies Mandy is banging everyone on Raw.

That's enough to get Bushwaker Luke… I mean Otis… to come out to the ring, briefcase, and lunchbox in hand. Otis tosses Miz and Morrison out of the ring and then tosses the Dirt Sheet chairs into the Thunderdome crowd. Tucker appears out of the crowd and tosses Miz back in the ring so Otis can beat him up more. Otis hits the caterpillar. I throw up in my mouth a little.

Otis hits a splash off the second rope, and that segment is, thankfully, now over. Michael Cole promotes the Samoan Street Fight tonight. Corey Graves promotes an interview with Sasha Banks. Then Otis gets back in the ring and strips the Miz down to his underwear. Miz covers up his tighty-whities while he runs backstage. Smackdown takes a commercial break.

Backstage, Miz assures John Morrison this was all part of the plan. Kayla Braxton asks him if he regrets making Otis mad. Miz gets on the phone and calls someone. He asks if they "saw it," and if it was "enough." He looks pleased with the answer. They leave.

Michael Cole claims nobody cares more about fans than WWE (bwahahahaha) and that the Thunderdome was constructed just for us. Then Gran Metalik comes out with the rest of Lucha House Party. We see a prerecorded interview with Kalisto and that god damn furry, Lince Dorado. Kalisto argues with Dorado about which one of them should advise Metalik tonight, teasing more tension with this group. Cesaro heads out with Shinsuke Nakamura. They have a prerecorded interview too, which doesn't really say much—time for a match.

Gran Metalik vs. Cesaro

  • So nobody is mentioning Lince Dorado's mysterious "goodbye" tweet? Come on, Michael Cole. We know you love to talk about Twitter.
  • Kalisto is wearing a fedora on top of his mask, and it's the douchiest thing ever, which is, of course, the point.
  • Kalisto and Dorado can't stop arguing, and it gets them ejected from ringside.
  • Michael Cole points out during the match that this is the 1100th episode of Smackdown. I've watched pretty much all of them. That means three full months of my life have been spent watching Smackdown. Three months I can never get back.
  • Gran Metalik actually does better without his bickering friends at ringside.
  • But not good enough to win, as Cesaro hits the Gotch Neutralizer to get the pinfall.

Kayla Braxton talks to Jey Uso backstage. She asks him about last week when he wrestled most of the tag team match by himself only for Roman Reigns to come in and steal the glory. She asks how Roman's actions affect their chemistry as a team. Uso says Paul Heyman told him last week was a miscommunication. He hopes Roman will have his back tonight. But at Clash of Champions, one of them is gonna leave as the Universal Champion. He goes on a bit more to hit his catchphrases. I'm digging the Jey Uso solo run, even if it's all just for him to job to Roman in a few weeks. Smackdown takes a commercial break.

We see a Matt Riddle focused Progressive Match Flo; then Riddle cuts a promo, bro. He says people want to know why he says bro so much, bro. He says it's like a universal language, bro. Then he runs through a bunch of different examples of using the word bro to convey different meanings, bro.

A Moment of Bliss, Bro

Alexa Bliss is seated at the top of the stage, bro. It's time for A Moment of Bliss, bro… hang on… *smashes head against wall*

Alexa Bliss is seated on the stage for A Moment of Bliss. She brings out Nikki Cross. Then we see Alexa hitting Sister Abigail on Cross last week, followed by Cross winning the shot at Bayley at Clash of Champions anyway. Alexa congratulates Nikki on her win, but she asks what Nikki's plan of action is for this match since she lost to Bayley over and over throughout the Summer. Nikki says this is different because Bayley doesn't have Sasha Banks to cheat for her. Nikki also talks about what Bayley did to Sasha and how proud she was of betraying her friend. Nikki says at Clash of Champions, she'll be the new Smackdown Women's Champion.

Alexa accepts that answer. Then Nikki has a question for her. She asks what's going on with her and all this Fiend stuff. Alexa has a hard time explaining what she did last week. She says she doesn't understand it herself. It's a change, and she can't control it.

Lacey Evans interrupts and calls them "a couple of nasties jawjacking." She mocks Alexa for talking about her feelings and tells Cross she should thank Alexa for walking away from the match last week because it made Lacey… (she forgets her line for a second)… off of her game. Lacey says Bayley has a mean streak, and Nikki is too nice, which is why she'll never beat Bayley.

Nikki steals Lacey's handkerchief and blows her nose in it, then throws it at Lacey. Lacey bends down to pick it up (ew), and Nikki kicks her in the face. Lacey pulls her skirt off and marches angrily to the ring. Smackdown takes a commercial break.

Nikki Cross vs. Lacey Evans

  • Alexa is on commentary for this match.
  • Lacey stops the match to rub a bunch of hand sanitizer on her hands after touching Nikki… but like five minutes ago, during Moment of Bliss, she was trying to pick up a handkerchief that Nikki blew her nose in.
  • After Lacey beats up Cross for a while, she grabs the hand sanitizer again and squirts it in Nikki's eyes right in front of the ref, and the ref does nothing.
  • This fires Nikki up, though, and so she hits some of her weak-looking offense.
  • Cross wins with a Tornado DDT with a roll-through into a neckbreaker off the ropes.

Lacey crawls to the announce table and asks Alexa: "what are you gonna do now? Are you gonna get the Fiend?!" Alexa gets the blank look in her eye. She gets up and gives Lacey a Sister Abigail. Then, still looking off into the sky, she walks off. Sasha Banks is at the WWE Performance Center in a neck brace, getting mic'd up for her interview. But first, Smackdown takes a commercial break.

The Smackdown Report Will Continue…

What will Sasha Banks have to say about Bayley's vicious attack two weeks ago? Find out in part two of our Smackdown report.

This post is part of a multi-part series: WWE Smackdown Report.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!

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