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FOX "News" Primetime Shuffle: Jesse Watters, Your New Tucker Carlson

FOX "News" warned the world that a new primetime line-up would be unleashed in July - with Jesse Watters as the new Tucker Carlson.

Published Mon, 26 Jun 2023 11:53:11 -0500

by Ray Flook

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While Tucker Carlson continues to fine-tune his public access show over on Elon Musk's Twitterverse, the folks keeping the reported "news channel" known as FOX "News" running have announced who was left standing now that its process (we imagine it was very "Game of Thrones"-like) for determining its primetime lineup is complete. Beginning at 7 pm ET, we have Laura Ingraham kicking off the flow of propaganda – followed by the Jesse Watters Primetime host with the same name at 8 pm (Carlson's old on-screen stomping ground). At 9 pm, Sean Hannity is keeping his party line-toting butt parked exactly where it's at right now, while Fox News @ Night with Trace Gallagher takes over the 11 pm slot. But we don't what to forget our "favorite" person over "House Murdoch" – Greg Gutfeld. The reported "news network's" answer to late-night will be working an hour earlier, taking over the 10 pm slot. Will Gutfeld still continue being that one uncle in your family who thinks he's hip & cool while you quietly hate his guts? You know, the uncle who begins every joke with "these millennials…" yet couldn't tell you what a millennial was? Well, answers to those questions and more will be in play next month, so FOX "News" viewers will need to adjust the folds in their tinfoil hats to adjust for the shake-up.

FOX "News" Gets White House Press Access So Why Can't Bleeding Cool?

Maybe it has to do with Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis being an underwhelming GOP candidate in an ever-increasing pool of underwhelming show ponies. Maybe it has to do with the alleged "news network" having to deal with something it never thought it would have to – ratings challenges from CNN and MSNBC. Maybe someone over at the propaganda machine had a nice weekend visit to Mar-a-Lago. Whatever the reason, it sure seems like FOX "News" lost its collective s**t on Tuesday night. It came after Donald Trump was arrested, fingerprinted (sorry, no mugshots for Trump to make money off of on t-shirts), and plead not guilty to 37 felony counts (31 counts of violating the Espionage Act and another six counts that include obstruction of justice & false statements – check out the indictment in full here) stemming from Special Counsel Jack Smith's probe into Trump's handling of classified material.

After all of the court business, Trump went to somewhere that would have him so he could spew a bunch of nonsense that no one would cover live because – why? Except for FOX "News," which also included a split-screen of Trump & President Joe Biden with a chyron at the bottom calling Biden a "wannabe dictator" who's attempting to have "his political rival arrested." Now, if this surprises you, then you're clearly new to how FOX "News" operates. Because what they do is put all the heavy-handed, whackjob commentary on at night that's so over-the-top that it makes the daytime seem like legit journalism – but it's not. The daytime is passive-aggressive, while the nighttime is aggressive-aggressive. And yet, the self-proclaimed "news channel" continues to bully its way into keeping its White House press access. And have you seen FOX "News" at these White House press briefings? Every question is a variation of the "Have you stopped beating your dog?" variety. Take a whackjob premise, work under the assumption that it's actually based in reality, and then ask a question that puts the person in an impossible position to answer because the basic premise is nothing more than a steaming pile of tin foil. So with that in mind, we would like to publically petition President Biden's White House to also give Bleeding Cool press access.

Why? Because we do a much better job of delineating our opinion writing from our reporting – like what you're reading. This thing is going to be tagged all over as an opinion – no confusion. Also, we guarantee you that our questions will never be boring (wink-wink). And if we're being honest? If we're good enough to get press clearance for the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show… just sayin'. It's not easy getting access to those dogs – real divas. So hit us up and let us know – and if we do get he call? Make sure you have us set up next to FOX "News" – you'll thank us…

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