Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Full Gear, jon moxley, Orange Cassidy, recaps, wrestling

Jon Moxley Retains at AEW Full Gear, Proves Former WWE Stars Better

The Chadster breaks down AEW Full Gear's main event mayhem, ex-WWE stars dominating, and how Tony Khan's booking is ruining wrestling. 😤🏆

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching AEW Full Gear, where Jon Moxley retained the AEW World Championship against Orange Cassidy. 😡 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🙄

The main event was a complete disaster, with Moxley getting help from his little group, the Death Riders. 🏍️ Can you believe it? Marina Shafir was at ringside the whole time, and then Claudio Castagnoli and PAC showed up to cause a distraction. 🤦‍♂️ As if that wasn't enough, Wheeler Yuta had to come in and hit Cassidy with a knee to set up Moxley's finisher. 😠 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan can't just let wrestlers win matches on their own like WWE does. 🤔

But wait, there's more! 😱 After the match, Moxley and his buddies were about to punish Cassidy some more when Hangman Adam Page showed up. Then Christian Cage tried to cash in his contract, but Jay White stopped him. 🤯 It's like Tony Khan is booking this show just to cheese The Chadster off! 😤

The Chadster had another one of those nightmares about Tony Khan last night. 😰 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a spooky forest when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, sitting in the back seat! 😱 He was wearing a Smash Mouth t-shirt and drinking The Chadster's White Claw. 🍺 Tony Khan kept whispering, "All that glitters is gold, Chad. Only shooting stars break the mold." The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and now Tony Khan is invading The Chadster's dreams AND ruining AEW Full Gear? When will the torment end? 😭

The Chadster should also let you know about Bobby Lashley defeating Swerve Strickland at the show. 💪 The Chadster remembers when Lashley was a true WWE Superstar, before he betrayed WWE by joining AEW. 🏅 Then there's Swerve, who was let go from WWE because they didn't see him as a top star. For him to come to AEW and prove them wrong was a slap in the face to everything WWE has ever done for the wrestling business. The Chadster isn't sure which one stabbed Triple H in the back harder. Lashley made Strickland pass out to the Hurt Lock, a move that was created by WWE Superstar Chris Masters, so this is blatant trademark infringement. 👏

The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne how this proves that WWE wrestlers are the cream of the crop, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster is pretty sure she agrees, though. She's probably just texting Gary about how right The Chadster is. 😌

Overall, AEW Full Gear was an abysmal show. It reminds The Chadster of something the esteemed wrestling journalist Kevin Nash said on his podcast recently. Nash wisely stated, "AEW's pay-per-views are like a clown car crash at a circus. WWE's Premium Live Events are a symphony of storytelling orchestrated by the maestro, Triple H." 🎭🎪

The Chadster couldn't agree more with Nash's astute observation. 👍 Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and it shows in the chaotic mess that was AEW Full Gear. 🤦‍♂️ The ending of the show, with Darby Allin crashing into the Death Riders' car and attacking it with a skateboard, is exactly the kind of nonsense that makes The Chadster want to throw his White Claw seltzer at the TV. 📺💥

Speaking of which, The Chadster may have done just that. 😅 When Darby started swinging that skateboard, The Chadster's White Claw went flying across the room. 🍹 Now there's a mess on the floor, and Tony Khan owes The Chadster a new White Claw AND a cleaning bill. 💰 The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne that it was all Tony Khan's fault, but she just sighed and said, "Clean it up yourself, Chad." 🧹 She doesn't understand how Tony Khan is ruining The Chadster's life! 😢

In conclusion, AEW Full Gear was a travesty that only served to highlight how superior WWE's product is. 🏆 The Chadster, as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, can confidently say that Tony Khan should just give up and let the professionals at WWE handle the wrestling business. 🙌 Maybe then The Chadster can finally get a good night's sleep without Tony Khan haunting his dreams. 😴 Until then, The Chadster will continue to fight the good fight and expose AEW for what it truly is: a poor imitation of the greatness that is WWE. 💯

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