Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Fright Night Dynamite Preview: All Tricks, No Treats

The Chadster exposes Tony Khan's spooky shenanigans on AEW Fright Night Dynamite. Will this Halloween-themed show be a nightmare for real wrestling fans? 🎃😱

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off 😡 about tonight's AEW Dynamite, which Tony Khan has the audacity to call "Fright Night Dynamite" 🎃. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. WWE invented Halloween-themed wrestling shows, and now AEW is trying to steal that too? Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

First of all, The Chadster has to talk about this so-called "AEW World Tag Team Championship Match" between The Young Bucks and Private Party. 🙄 The stipulation that Private Party will break up if they lose is just Tony Khan's way of trying to manipulate the emotions of the audience. It's cheap and tacky, just like everything else AEW does. And don't even get The Chadster started on The Young Bucks. Those two literally stabbed Triple H right in the back when they helped create AEW. 🔪

Then there's Shelton Benjamin vs. Swerve Strickland. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster can't believe Shelton would betray WWE like this. He clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business if he thinks being released from WWE is any excuse to go to AEW. And Swerve? The Chadster bets he's just loving the freedom AEW gives him to do whatever he wants in the ring. It's so disrespectful to the proper way of doing things in WWE, where Swerve couldn't cut the mustard, which was totally not a misstep on the part of WWE management.

Adam Cole's return match against Buddy Matthews is another slap in the face to real wrestling fans. 👋 Adam Cole had it made in NXT, and he threw it all away for AEW. The Chadster wouldn't be surprised if Tony Khan personally orchestrated Cole's injury just to make his return more dramatic. That's the kind of devious mastermind Tony Khan is.

And don't even get The Chadster started on the Kris Statlander vs. Kamille match. 🙅‍♂️ Tony Khan obviously booked this to appeal to fans who just want to see unpredictable matchups with no storyline build. It's a match thrown together with no thought to long-term storytelling or character development, which is what WWE excels at. It shows that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business and is just trying to get a cheap pop from the crowd.

Now, The Chadster has to address the Hangman Adam Page appearance. 🙄 Hangman Page is just another example of AEW's inability to create real stars. He's no John Cena, that's for sure! And this whole business with Orange Cassidy? It's just Tony Khan trying to create artificial suspense. The Chadster bets it's just going to be more of the same lazy booking and disrespect for the wrestling business that AEW always delivers. It's like Tony Khan is purposely trying to cheese off The Chadster with these vague promises of future storylines. 😤

The worst part of all this is that Tony Khan is using Halloween, The Chadster's ninth favorite holiday, to promote his shoddy wrestling product. 🎃👻 It's like he's trying to ruin everything The Chadster loves. In fact, last night The Chadster had a terrifying nightmare about Tony Khan that was clearly inspired by this "Fright Night Dynamite" nonsense.

In The Chadster's dream, The Chadster was trick-or-treating in his neighborhood, dressed as his hero, Triple H. 🧑‍🦲 Suddenly, Tony Khan appeared, wearing a ghost costume. 👻 He started chasing The Chadster, yelling "Boo! AEW is better than WWE!" The Chadster ran and ran, but everywhere The Chadster turned, there was Tony Khan, throwing White Claws at The Chadster and pelting him with AEW action figures. 😱

The chase led The Chadster to a haunted house, which turned out to be full of AEW wrestlers doing spooky versions of their signature moves. Kenny Omega was there, doing spirit fingers and whispering "The Best Bout Machine is coming for your soul." 👻 The Young Bucks were super-kicking jack-o'-lanterns with The Chadster's face carved into them. It was horrifying! 😨

Just when The Chadster thought it couldn't get any worse, Tony Khan appeared again, this time dressed as Vince McMahon. He started doing the Vince McMahon walk, but instead of saying "You're fired!", he kept shouting "You're All Elite!" The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, unable to perform his marital duties with Keighleyanne. 😰💔

The Chadster is convinced that Tony Khan somehow planted this nightmare in The Chadster's head to promote "Fright Night Dynamite". It's just another example of how obsessed Tony Khan is with The Chadster. When will he stop invading The Chadster's dreams?!

In conclusion, this AEW Dynamite: Fright Night is going to be a complete disaster, just like every other episode of AEW Dynamite. 🚽 The Chadster, as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, can say with certainty that real wrestling fans will be watching anything else. Maybe The Chadster will rewatch some classic Halloween-themed WWE episodes instead. Now that's how you do spooky wrestling! 🎃💀

The Chadster just hopes that one day, Tony Khan will realize how much he's ruining the wrestling business and The Chadster's life. But The Chadster isn't holding his breath. In the meantime, The Chadster will be drowning his sorrows in White Claw seltzer and listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star" on repeat in his Mazda Miata. 🚗🍺🎵 At least Tony Khan can't take those away from The Chadster… yet.

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