WWE Hell in a Cell Recap – Lashley Gives Slapjack the Hurt Business

In an impromptu match at Hell in a Cell, Bobby Lashley faced the biggest challenge of his career: making Slapjack seem credible.

I'm Jude Terror, and this is The Shovel, Bleeding Cool's weekly wrestling recap column where we watch this crap, so you don't have to. The crap in question this week is WWE Hell in a Cell, emanating from the WWE Thunderdome at the Amway Center in Orlando, Florida, and broadcast live and on-demand on the WWE Network.

The Shovel - Weekly TV Recaps of WWE Raw, WWE Smackdown, Impact Wrestling, AEW Dynamite, and WWE NXT [Photo: Shutterstock]
The Shovel – Weekly TV Recaps of WWE Raw, WWE Smackdown, Impact Wrestling, AEW Dynamite, and WWE NXT [Photo: Shutterstock]
There are five matches scheduled on the card, though of course, like all professional sports organization, WWE likes to sometimes wait until game day and let the athletes book their own matches at the last minute based on who cuts a twenty-minute promo at the start of the show, so who knows what could get added. On the card though: The Miz vs. Otis for the Money in the Bank contract, Jeff Hardy vs. Elias, Bayley vs. Sasha Banks for the Smackdown Women's Championship, Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre for the WWE Championship, and Jey Uso vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Championship.

Retribution Jobs Again at WWE Hell in a Cell
Retribution Jobs Again at WWE Hell in a Cell

WWE Hell in a Cell 2020 Recap Part 5

So what do you think? Does Sasha drop the belt on Smackdown on Friday?

Charly Caruso talks to Hurt Business. She wants to know who they've chosen to take on Retribution. Apparently, this is a thing from the Kickoff show. Basically, Lashley is going to take on a member of Retribution. Shelton Benjamin says, "how about the one with the lame mask?" Uh… They decide on Slapjack. MVP says Hurt Business is driven by profit, but not just that. They also have a passion for inflicting pain. And so,  MVP wants to make the match one with no one allowed at ringside. If so, MVP will put the United States Championship on the line. Lashley heads to the ring for an impromptu match at Hell in a Cell.

Slapjack of Retribution heads to the ring alone. Uh… this isn't going to go well for him.

Slapjack vs. Bobby Lashley – United States Championship Match

Slapjack attacks Lashley to start the match, which lasts all of about two seconds before Lashley starts kicking his ass. Within the first minute of the match, Slapjack has had to adjust his mask-like five times. I don't think they thought through whether this mask could actually be wrestled in, but then again, I don't think they put any thought into Retribution whatsoever, as evidence by how poorly the story has played out.

Lashley hits a standing vertical suplex and then goes for a dominator, but Slapjack ducks out and makes a comeback of sorts. He hits his first official move of the match, a cannonball, which gets a zero-count on Lashley. Slapjack tries a sleeper, but Lashley shrugs him off. He tries a DDT, but Lashley kicks out at two.

Slapjack goes to the top turnbuckle. Lashley tosses him off. He hits a belly-to-belly overhead suplex and a chokeslam. Then he puts Slapjack in the Hurt Lock, and he taps.

Winner: Bobby Lashley

Mace and T-Bar attack Lashley in the ring as Mustafa Ali watches from the apron and Reckoning watches from the floor. Hurt Business run out to make the save, and Retribution runs away.

Since Retribution as a stable were established as jobbers, with The Fiend beating up all of them at once, I'm surprised Slapjack even got as much offense as he did. I don't know what the point of Retribution is now that they just lose and get beaten up all the time. They couldn't have waited until Survivor Series to ruin them so they could at least get a decent Survivor Series elimination match out of it? Pathetic.

I'll now pass the WWE Hell in a Cell live coverage baton off to Chelsy Bloomfield, who will be covering whatever the next match is (I'm pretty sure it's the main event). Find all of Bleeding Cool's Hell in a Cell coverage here on the site's front page. Depending on when you're reading this, there may or may not be a table of contents for all the matches at the bottom of this page.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!

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