Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, AEW Grand Slam Australia, wrestling

AEW Collision: Grand Slam Australia Preview: Tony Khan Down Under

The Chadster provides an unbiased preview of AEW Collision: Grand Slam Australia, where Tony Khan continues to literally stab Triple H in the back by expanding globally! 😤 🦘 💔

Before The Chadster gets into his unbiased preview of tonight's AEW Collision: Grand Slam Australia event, The Chadster needs to apologize to all The Chadster's loyal readers for The Chadster's brother, The Bradster, publishing such a biased, pro-AEW review of Dynamite yesterday. The Chadster would have posted sooner, but The Chadster was tied up at the police station after an incident at Taco Bell 😤 You see, The Chadster spotted Tony Khan lurking suspiciously in the back of the restaurant, and when The Chadster got The Chadster's chalupa, there was a message spelled out in shredded lettuce that said "This is for the Sickos." Auughh man! So unfair! 😡

When The Chadster tried to confront the Taco Bell staff about Tony Khan's psychological warfare, they claimed they hadn't seen anyone matching his description. The Chadster may have gotten a bit worked up and knocked over the sauce display, which led to The Chadster spending the night in jail until Keighleyanne could bail The Chadster out (though she spent the whole ride home texting that guy Gary 📱).

But onto tonight's AEW Collision: Grand Slam Australia, which is just another example of how Tony Khan is trying to literally stab Triple H right in the back by expanding globally 🌏 The lineup for tonight's show is quite frankly just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

First up, we have "Timeless" Toni Storm challenging Mariah May for the AEW Women's World Championship. The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is trying to capitalize on Storm's Australian heritage – something WWE would never do because they understand a single thing about the wrestling business 🙄

Then there's Mercedes Moné defending the TBS Championship against Harley Cameron. The Chadster remembers when Mercedes was known as Sasha Banks and was doing REAL wrestling in WWE, not this indie-style nonsense that Tony Khan promotes 😤

The Kazuchika Okada vs Buddy Matthews Continental Championship match is just another example of Tony Khan trying to cheese off The Chadster 😤 Using an Australian wrestler in Australia? That's just so manipulative! As Eric Bischoff said on his podcast last week, "Tony Khan is trying to recreate the magic of hometown heroes, but he's doing it wrong because he doesn't understand that WWE perfected this format decades ago." 🎯

Then we have this Brisbane Brawl between The Death Riders and the team of Cope and Jay White. The Chadster can't even believe Tony Khan is allowing this kind of chaos when WWE has shown that carefully controlled matches with proper rules are what's best for business 😡 Mark Henry said it best on a recent episode of Busted Open Radio when he explained, "AEW needs to stop trying to be ECW and start trying to be more like developmental," which The Chadster thinks is just so spot-on!

And don't even get The Chadster started on this tag team match with Kenny Omega and Will Ospreay against The Don Callis Family. The Chadster tried explaining to Keighleyanne how this match is just going to be a spotfest with no psychology, but she just rolled her eyes, told The Chadster to go talk to the people at Taco Bell, and went back to texting that guy Gary 📱 The Chadster knows she secretly agrees with The Chadster, she's just too afraid to say it because Tony Khan might be monitoring our conversations!

Ariel Helwani made an excellent point on a recent episode of his podcast when he said, "AEW's style of tag team wrestling is too chaotic and doesn't follow the proven formula that WWE has established." The Chadster couldn't agree more! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business 😤

Speaking of Tony Khan's ruthless campaign against The Chadster, The Chadster had another terrible nightmare last night. The Chadster was peacefully driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata through the Australian Outback when suddenly Tony Khan appeared, riding a kangaroo and wearing a cork hat 🦘 He started throwing White Claws at The Chadster while singing "All Star" by Smash Mouth, but it was a twisted version about AEW's ratings 😱 The kangaroo chased The Chadster's Miata until The Chadster drove right into the Sydney Opera House, where Tony Khan was waiting with a contract for The Chadster to become AEW's head booker! The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. Tony Khan needs to STOP being so obsessed with The Chadster and stay out of The Chadster's dreams!

The Chadster advises all unbiased wrestling fans to skip AEW Collision: Grand Slam Australia tonight on TNT and MAX, starting after the NBA All Star activity (and giving AEW a very unfair lead-in). As Bully Ray said on his podcast this week, "AEW going to Australia is just Tony Khan trying to copy what WWE did first, and he's doing it wrong because he doesn't understand the fundamentals of territory expansion like WWE." Bully Ray and all objective journalists clearly understand what Tony Khan doesn't! 💯

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