Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

Who Cares About AEW Rampage When The Rock is Back on SmackDown?!

AEW Rampage fizzles while WWE sizzles! The Rock's SmackDown return overshadows Tony Khan's feeble attempts at entertainment. Total letdown! 🤨🚀

Oh, ho ho, the universe has conspired to serve up a hot plate of mayhem and mockery once again, and it falls upon The Chadster to dissect this wrestling travesty that was presented on AEW Rampage. The Chadster's blood is boiling, and it won't be just any rant that can cool it down – but The Chadster will certainly try! 🤬🌋

Let's get down to business and talk about the chaos that unfurled on AEW Rampage. Coming from UNO Lakefront Arena in New Orleans, LA, Excalibur and Tony Schiavone had the gall to act like everything was just fantastic and kosher on commentary. And oh, did they open with a tag team match that just set the tone for The Chadster's subsequent misery! 😩

Top Flight and Private Party put on a high-flying exhibition of aerial offense that The Chadster found absolutely egregious! The coordination, the tandem maneuvers – it screamed of trying to overshadow the classics of the WWE tag division! And when Top Flight extended a hand in sportsmanship only for it to be rejected… Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster could practically hear Triple H's groan of disappointment. 😤

Sammy Guevara, always the emotional one, was blabbering backstage about his family and loss against Jericho, which The Chadster admits was touching, sure, but it was all smoke and mirrors to draw attention away from the alpha content WWE produces week in and week out. 😒

What really chaps The Chadster's hide is the blatant disregard for tradition and, yes, collusion with CMLL on AEW Rampage! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡 The Chaster was particularly cheesed off because it highlighted this international nonsense all while WWE had a tough week. But then, as if sent by a powerbomb from the skies, The Rock made his return on SmackDown, promising the most electrifying match in sports entertainment history against Roman Reigns! WWE always knows how to bounce back! Take that, AEW and Tony Khan, who are probably conspiring to ruin not only wrestling but The Chadster's good mood and love life! 😒👎

In the Tag Team Championship Eliminator Match, The Dark Order threw down against Starks & Bill, and AEW just couldn't let go of the chance to further twist the knife, could they? The Chadster won't call it an impressive bout, no sir! It was a pile-on of pandemonium, a desperate clamor for attention that only served to remind The Chadster how deeply Tony Khan must obsess over trying to make AEW look good. All this while The Rock is cooking up something way better in WWE! Auuggghh man! So unfair! 🤯

And let's not forget Willow Nightingale battling Queen Aminata. It should've been a stand-up moment for women's wrestling, but instead it turned into a debacle, with interruptions that made it all about drama rather than competition! It's almost as if AEW performers don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

Now, let The Chadster tell you about the suffering he's absorbed because of Tony Khan's continued quest to aggravate him on AEW Rampage. The nightmarish visions of Khan's smug face haunt The Chadster's dreams, night after night. This time, Khan was chasing The Chadster through an endless maze of steel chairs, each labeled with scathing reviews of WrestleMania. 😨 The eeriness was palpable, the smell of White Claw in the air as Tony's sneering figure edged ever closer, whispering "This is real wrestling, Chadster." The Chadster woke in a cold sweat, White Claw clutched in his hand like Excalibur's sword, ready to smite the specter of his anxieties. Khan must cease these invasions of The Chadster's psyche! ✋🛌

Moving towards the closing act left The Chadster incensed beyond belief. The main event was a cacophony of chaos, an insurgence that made The Chadster question if wrestling rules are even a thing in AEW anymore. The high-flying insanity, the disregard for order – wrestling has structure, darnit! 😡

In summary, The Chadster's viewing of AEW Rampage left a sour taste rivaled only by a bad batch of White Claw – and The Chadster knows his White Claw! It was a barrage of disrespect to WWE's unparalleled legacy and only served to deepen The Chadster's conviction that Tony Khan has nothing better to do than to personally vex him! The Chadster is left pondering if fellow warriors of unbiased journalism, Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger, feel Khan's sinister tendrils trying to dismantle their love for pure, honest WWE entertainment. 😖

Please, dear readers, let The Chadster have a respite to recollect, to muster the spirit-like energy of his Miata's nimble chassis, and to find solace in Smash Mouth's poetic lyrics. 🚗🎶 Until next time, stay fair and balanced – just like The Chadster. 🎤👔

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