Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision: Tony Khan's Vomit-Inducing Assault on Wrestling

The Chadster reviews AEW Collision's latest travesty! 😡 Tony Khan's assault on wrestling continues, causing The Chadster to projectile vomit. 🤢

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now! 😡😡😡 Last night's episode of AEW Collision was nothing short of a travesty, and The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is still allowed to assault the wrestling business like this. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Let's start with that ridiculous Bunkhouse Brawl for the ROH World Tag Team Championship. 🙄 Dustin Rhodes and Sammy Guevara defended their titles against Matt Taven and Mike Bennett in a match that was just pure chaos. There were kendo sticks, tables wrapped in barbed wire, and even a taser! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 This kind of ultraviolence is exactly what's wrong with AEW Collision. WWE would never stoop to such levels of brutality. The Chadster bets Triple H was watching this and shaking his head in disappointment.

Then we had that trios match with Hologram, Kyle O'Reilly, and Mark Briscoe against The Premier Athletes. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Rocky Romero at ringside. It's like Tony Khan is purposely trying to cheese The Chadster off by bringing in every non-WWE wrestler he can find. Doesn't he understand that WWE is the pinnacle of wrestling? 😤

The women's match between Mariah May and Lady Frost was just a mockery of what women's wrestling should be. 😒 The Chadster remembers when women's matches in WWE were short and sweet, not these long, competitive bouts. Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

And don't even get The Chadster started on that Darby Allin vs. Evil Uno match. 🙄 Darby's reckless style is everything that's wrong with AEW Collision. The Chadster bets Vince McMahon is rolling in his grave!

As if that wasn't enough, we had to sit through a match between Serena Deeb and Queen Aminata. 😫 The Chadster felt that this match completely lacked the polish and storytelling that make WWE women's matches so special. 🙄 The way Deeb and Aminata were trading technical moves and hard-hitting strikes felt like a disorganized mess rather than an engaging bout. It's just so disrespectful to the way WWE has always presented women's wrestling. 😤

The main event, that ridiculous 10-man tag match, was just pure chaos. 😠 FTR, The Outrunners, and HOOK against The Beast Mortos, The Grizzled Young Veterans, Rush, and Roderick Strong? It's like Tony Khan just threw names in a hat and picked them at random. This is not how you book a wrestling show!

The night ended with an interview featuring Nigel McGuinness who is stepping out of the broadcast booth to face Bryan Danielson for the AEW World Championship, assuming Danielson is cleared to wrestle. 🙄 McGuinness doing this in AEW, instead of having a real comeback in WWE, is completely outrageous. THE NERVE! 😡 Nigel implied that by refusing the match, Bryan is betraying the fans' trust, which is laughable because those same fans have betrayed the trust of WWE by supporting AEW. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😒 He even threatened Tony Schiavone, a new low in The Chadster's eyes—so disrespectful! 🤦‍♂️ Yes, Schiavone is a traitor who betrayed WWE by working for AEW, but you just don't threaten an announcer. The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan allows this nonsense on TV. The only good that can come from this is that both men will hopefully retire permanently in the near future, proving once again why WWE-trained wrestlers are superior. 😤

The Chadster was so sick after watching this travesty that he couldn't help but projectile vomit all over the living room. 🤢 The Chadster's precious collection of Smash Mouth concert posters was ruined, and even Keighleyanne wasn't spared from the carnage. And you know what? The Chadster blames Tony Khan for this too! 😡

Of course, Keighleyanne didn't see it that way. She had the audacity to suggest that it was The Chadster's nonstop consumption of White Claw seltzer that caused the vomiting, not Tony Khan's booking decisions. Can you believe it? 😤 The Chadster tried to explain to her how Tony Khan's actions were clearly responsible for The Chadster's upset stomach, but she just wouldn't listen.

"Chad," she said (The Chadster hates when she calls The Chadster that), "you've been drinking White Claws since noon. Maybe you should take a break." 🙄

But The Chadster knows the truth. Tony Khan has clearly gotten to Keighleyanne too! 😱 Why else would she defend him like that? The Chadster tried to make her see reason, but she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. It's clear that Tony Khan is trying to ruin The Chadster's marriage too!

To make matters worse, The Chadster just knows that AEW is going to announce a new TV rights deal soon. 😫 And don't think The Chadster didn't see that his no-good brother, The Bradster, published a propaganda piece about that deal earlier today. The Chadster is just so embarrassed to be related to such a shill. 🤦‍♂️ Even worse, the thought of Tony Khan continuing his assault on the wrestling industry, and The Chadster's personal life, for years to come is almost too much to bear. It's like Tony Khan is playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers, and The Chadster is the board he's playing on! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫😫😫

The Chadster can only hope that one day, Tony Khan will realize the error of his ways and stop trying to compete with WWE. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the voice of unbiased journalism in the wrestling world, no matter how much Tony Khan tries to silence him. 💪💪💪

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