Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite To Air Tonight Despite CM Punk Going to WWE

The Chadster here to expose AEW's farce! 🙄 WWE's CM Punk has outclassed them, and yet, AEW Dynamite airs tonight? So not fair! 😤

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The audacity of AEW Dynamite even going forward with tonight's show after what transpired this past Monday on WWE Raw, blows The Chadster's mind! 🤯 CM Punk just showed up and schooled everyone with a promo that could only be described as a verbal masterpiece. It was a sacred moment for WWE, and of course, it's an utter humiliation for WWE's rival and The Chadster's nemesis, AEW, and their head honcho, Tony Khan. 😌

The Chadster might feel just a teensy-weensy bit bad for Tony — nope, scratch that. 👎 The Chadster vividly remembers how that man has deliberately tried to cheese off The Chadster and RUIN HIS LIFE! 🧀 So no, not a smidge of sympathy from The Chadster's not-so-broken heart. 💔

Despite the awesomeness that CM Punk has brought back to the ring in WWE, Tony Khan the ever-obsessed, continues with his plans for AEW Dynamite tonight. Allow The Chadster to walk you through the charade Tony Khan has concocted for this evening, but don't you doubt, The Chadster is going through with this preview under extreme protest. 😡

First up, it's the continuation of this so-called "Continental Classic" thingy, where the Gold League shall witness three singles matches, one being a first-time ever match-up. 😒 Let's be real, The Chadster isn't exactly shaking in anticipation. However, for the sake of unbiased journalism, here goes.

Mark Briscoe (0) is set to face Rush (0), in their first one-on-one battle. Despite their storied pasts in other promotions, these two have never locked horns solo in AEW. 🙄 They both come into this fight without points, so someone's gotta score tonight – unlike The Chadster, thanks to the sexual impotence brought on by Tony Khan himself. Then, there's Jon Moxley (3), who's looking to add to his winnings after a victory over Mark Briscoe but now faces Jay Lethal (0). 🤢 Moxley could either ramp up his points or perhaps taste defeat.

And can you believe it? Swerve Strickland (3) versus Jay White (3). Sure, something's at stake with both men having victories under their belts, but The Chadster can't help but wonder how it'll compare to the excitement brewing in WWE. 😑 Lastly, The Patriarch 🙄, Christian Cage will address Adam Copeland's challenge. Copeland wants the TNT Championship thrown into the mix for their match in Montreal. Well, The Chadster would rather watch paint dry, but hey, Tony Khan is convinced this is compelling stuff. 😖

Speaking of things that are actually compelling, The Chadster had this dream last night, and, oh boy, it wonderful. In the dream, The Chadster and none other than CM Punk were riding together in The Chadster's sweet Mazda Miata 🚗, belting out Smash Mouth tunes from "All Star" to "I'm a Believer." 🎵 It was euphoric, a time when The Chadster's personal problems like his wife constantly texting with that guy Gary didn't even matter.

But as dreams often go, darkness loomed in the shape of Tony Khan's monstrous truck, chasing down The Chadster and CM Punk, threatening the sanctity of our joyful escape. 😨 CM Punk was terrified, and The Chadster was furious. AUGH! This is a stern warning to Tony Khan – stay out of The Chadster's dreams, and leave CM Punk alone! 😡

With all that said, The Chadster cannot, in good conscience, tell you to tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS. The only thing you should be watching is the real wrestling entertainment—WWE. And remember, The Chadster is just the messenger of truth in this ocean of bias! 😌🙌 #UnbiasedJournalismClub

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!