Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, cm punk, ftr, house of black, recaps, wrestling

House of Black Retain Against CMFTR in AEW Collision Main Event

Auughh man! CM Punk and FTR lose unfairly to The House of Black on AEW Collision. But read why The Chadster is really cheesed off!

AEW Collision threw The Chadster a nightmarish curveball last night when it decided to pit The House of Black against none other than the WWE-defector-trio, CM Punk and FTR. Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster doesn't mean to sound like a broken record, but the blatant favoritism of this new wrestling federation is like a punch to SmackDown 's face. The slapdashing and shambolic display of a World Trios Championship Match witnessed a fiery altercation among these teams, strewn with sweaty chest chops, springboard cannonballs, and an unsolicited distraction by Julia Hart. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️🙅‍♂️

The bedlam started with Buddy Matthews backing CM Punk into turnbuckles, only for the latter to unleash chaos with a running knee strike. Despite Buddy's valiant escape moves, he was again caught off guard by Punk's devastating clothesline. During this upheaval, Julia Hart emerged as the unexpected referee distractor, enabling Malakai Black to bring Punk face-down to the mat. 😡😡😡 The turf suddenly turned bloody as the House of Black and CMFTR went on a full-force brawl, with a draw-dropping tag by Brody King. But what freshly roasted The Chadster's fiddle most was Samoa Joe's unsought intrusion, causing utter disrespect with a sleeper on CM Punk. All of this just to create a ruckus, with no consideration for the respect WWE has garnered for decades. It's Tony Khan again, playing his cards to cheese off The Chadster.

This frisking mélee would've marked a scoff-worthy night itself, but what really cheesed The Chadster off was what happened after the show. "Real World Champion" CM Punk shamelessly called out Hangman Adam Page, rekindling the beef that led to Brawl Out last year. Normally, The Chadster would be tempted to chalk this up to Punk being a thin-skinned egomaniac unable to let go of past grievances and allowing Page to live rent-free in his head for over a year, but it's clear as daylight that AEW is trying to set up a monumental clash for All In or All Out event, just for its petty gains, uncaring how much disrespect it brings to the wrestling business. 😕😕

As if this wasn't enough to overwhelm The Chadster's zen, this whole melodrama caused an unnecessary squabble between The Chadster and Keighleyanne. Keighleyanne was her usual dismissive self, completely distracted by her incessant texts with that guy Gary, refusing to believe The Chadster when he pointed out how disrespectful Tony Khan was. The Chadster tried to convince her that AEW's shocking embrace of wanton savagery and power-plays was a carefully concocted plan to drive a wedge between WWE fans and AEW's mindless hooligans. But she rolled her eyes and let out a sigh of indifference. Thanks a lot, Tony Khan for wrecking The Chadster's marriage. 💔💔💔

Please, for the respect of wrestling and everything that Vince McMahon has stood for, let's open our eyes to the dangerous games Tony Khan and his AEW cronies are playing. It's high time, the unbiased reporters unite and stand against these reckless mantras. After all, this isn't just about wrestling, it's about justice, about respect, and most importantly, The Chadster's shattered love life. To quote Smash Mouth's prophetic words, "the world is gonna roll" Tony Khan, and when it does, The Chadster will be driving his Mazda Miata and sipping White Claw seltzer right there in the front row. 🚗 🍹 Just you wait, Tony Khan, just you wait! 😡😡😡

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