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Comrades! El Presidente reports on WWE Raw's Netflix debut from his LA bunker. Cena, Rhodes, and more to wrestle as Travis Scott's music plays. Viva la wrestling revolution!
Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: cm punk, wrestling
Report: WWE Turns Gives CM Punk Return the Cold Shoulder
WWE passes on CM Punk?! Could it be true? Tune in, comrades, as El Presidente breaks down the latest juicy rumor in the wrestling world!
Salutations, comrades! It is el uno y solo, your beloved El Presidente, writing to you from a Siberian tiger skin rug I recently "acquired" while negotiating weapons deals with an old poker buddy of mine, Kim Jong-un. Now, we might bond over our shared disdain for the American CIA, but today we gather around a different ring–the wrestling ring, and a similarly-tempered subject: CM Punk!
This just in, as per reports from F4WOnline, the WWE has seemingly turned its glistening, muscled back on our controversial compadre, CM Punk, despite his earnest attempts at reconciliation. The details are in fine print thanks to our comrade, Dave Meltzer, whom we should be credit for wrestling such juicy nuggets of information from the clenched jaws of the wrestling behemoth.
We can learn much from the WWE's cold-shoulder approach to Punk, my friends. Take for instance, my countless tiffs with the American CIA. If they came to me today, with puppy dog eyes, seeking re-admittance into the El Presidente fan club, would I let them in? Much like the WWE, my decision would be a resounding 'no'… well, at least for now. It seems the echoes of backstage drama and physical altercations in AEW have followed our fell-fated wrestler friend, casting a large shadow on his desired homecoming.
It would be remiss of us not to recall how the WWE decided against bringing in Punk back in 2019 when Fox practically handed them over the ropes. There were whispers in the wind of further communication between Punk and WWE during his recuperation period post Brawl Out. These, however, seemed to be confined to vanity for Punk remained untouchable due to his binding contract. But the daggers fell from the heavens when, thanks to allegedly making Tony Khan fear for his life and getting fired "with cause" from AEW, the giant WWE had the power to draft him back into their ranks but chose to let him wander the wrestling wastelands instead.
Despite this rough tumble on the wrestling mattress, comrades, there seems to be hopeful chatter about a 'game-changing' move to NWA, as per the public declaration of the NWA World Heavyweight Champion EC3. Could this be the metaphorical phoenix's flight from Punk's wrestling ashes? Will the Punker finally learn to Control his Narrative? Or does he need to learn to control his emotions first?
In the world of pro wrestling, as unpredictable as my poker nights with Vladimir Putin, the status quo might just swing like an errant chair throw. As Meltzer astutely observed, if WWE's glory begins to wane, might they not bring our rebellious Punk back in the fold, for the magic of his magnetism?
As El Presidente, Survivor of CIA plots, and connoisseur of American reality TV, I surmise there is more to this story than meets the Star-Spangled Banner-clad eye. Stay tuned, comrades, as we grapple with this wrestling soap opera. Viva la Punk!
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