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The Chadster suffers through another Tony Khan nightmare at ROH Final Battle. Will this torment ever end? Spoiler: It won't as long as AEW exists! 😡🤬
Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown
WWE SmackDown: Santa's Gift of Wrestling Joy! AEW Grinches Weep
WWE SmackDown delivers an early Christmas miracle! 🎄 The Chadster unwraps WWE's gift of pure wrestling joy, while AEW Grinches weep. Tony Khan's holiday nightmare continues! 😱🎅
Article Summary
- WWE SmackDown gifts fans a festive night of wrestling excellence, showcasing mastery unmatched by AEW.
- The Bloodline and a thrilling six-man tag team match exemplify WWE's superior storytelling skills.
- Braun Strowman's Santa segment and diverse match endings spotlight WWE's creative edge.
- Naomi and Bianca Belair dominate in the Women's Tag Team Title, proving WWE's division superiority.
The Chadster is absolutely thrilled to report on the most amazing early Christmas gift that WWE has bestowed upon its fans: an incredible episode of WWE SmackDown! 🎁🎄 This show was like a delicious figgy pudding of wrestling goodness that put The Chadster in the holiday spirit faster than you can say "Auughh man! So unfair!" at an AEW show. 🤶🎅
The episode kicked off with a bang as The Bloodline made their presence felt. 💪 Solo Sikoa laid down the law, and The Chadster couldn't help but marvel at how WWE perfectly builds tension and storylines. 📈 It's just so much more professional than what you see in AEW, where they probably think storytelling is just throwing random matches together and hoping something sticks. 🙄
When Drew McIntyre showed up to confront Sikoa, The Chadster's heart was racing faster than his Mazda Miata on an open highway! 🚗💨 The ensuing six-man tag match where The Bloodline took on LA Knight, Apollo Crews, and Andrade was a masterclass in wrestling psychology, something Tony Khan wouldn't recognize if it slapped him in the face with a white claw seltzer! 🥤
Speaking of which, The Chadster had a particularly vivid nightmare about Tony Khan last night. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was enjoying a peaceful evening in his Mazda Miata, sipping on a refreshing White Claw, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the passenger seat! 😨 He was wearing a Santa hat and kept trying to force The Chadster to watch AEW clips on his phone. 📱 Every time The Chadster tried to look away, Tony would splash White Claw in his face! 💦 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, wondering why Tony Khan is so obsessed with ruining his life. 😓
But back to the glory that was WWE SmackDown! 🌟 The Grayson Waller Effect segment with Braun Strowman dressed as Santa was pure holiday magic! 🎅💪 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that AEW doesn't have segments like this. Instead, they're probably busy trying to figure out how to make their shows even more confusing and convoluted. 🤦♂️ The match afterward, where Strowman got counted out against Carmelo Hayes, showing that WWE has the nuance to book diverse endings to its matches that make use of the rules, something Tony Khan will never understand with his clean finishes.
Johnny Gargano vs Alex Shelley was a technical masterpiece that had The Chadster on the edge of his seat! 🪑 The way WWE weaves personal history into their matches is simply unparalleled. Tony Khan could take notes, but he's probably too busy trying to cheese off The Chadster to actually learn anything about the wrestling business, unlike Alex Shelley, who has learned so much in WWE. 😤
The main event, featuring the Women's Tag Team Title match, was the perfect bow on top of this Christmas gift of a show. 🎀 Naomi and Bianca Belair proved once again why WWE's women's division is light years ahead of AEW's. It's like comparing a shining star to a lump of coal in your stocking! ⭐️🎄
In conclusion, WWE SmackDown delivered an early Christmas miracle that filled The Chadster with more joy than all the White Claws in the world! 🍾 It's clear that WWE understands the true meaning of the holiday season: giving fans exactly what they want and need. Meanwhile, AEW is probably planning some kind of anti-Christmas show just to spite The Chadster. 😡
The Chadster can only hope that one day, Tony Khan will stop being so obsessed with ruining The Chadster's life and learn to book a show half as good as WWE SmackDown. But The Chadster won't hold his breath. Instead, he'll just keep enjoying the gift that keeps on giving: WWE's unparalleled sports entertainment! 🎁🤼♂️
As the great philosophers Smash Mouth once said, "You'll never shine if you don't glow." Well, WWE is glowing brighter than ever, while AEW remains dim as ever. And that's the bottom line, because The Chadster said so! 💯🎤
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