Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Ruins CM Punk, Jade Cargill's Big WWE Night

Tony Khan literally stabbed CM Punk & Jade Cargill in the back by airing AEW Collision during WWE Saturday Night's Main Event! So disrespectful! 😤😡🤬

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫😤🤬 The Chadster can't believe what Tony Khan did last night during AEW Collision! While WWE was putting on an absolutely spectacular Saturday Night's Main Event on Peacock featuring CM Punk winning the championship and Jade Cargill capturing the women's title in moments that will live forever in wrestling history, Tony Khan deliberately counter-programmed with AEW Collision in what can only be described as a personal attack on The Chadster and every single unbiased wrestling fan! 🤬😡💢

Sure, AEW Collision airs in that timeslot every single week, but that's NO EXCUSE! 😤🙄 Tony Khan should have moved AEW Collision to Sunday morning at 6 AM or just canceled it entirely out of respect for WWE's special event! Instead, he literally stabbed CM Punk and Jade Cargill right in the back on their biggest night by airing his show at the same time! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😡😤👎

AEW Collision Review: Tony Khan's Most Disrespectful Show Ever Deliberately Sabotages WWE Saturday Night's Main Event 😤😡🤬💀

The Chadster was so upset that he had to choke himself extra hard last night in protest! 😵💫🥴 The Chadster wrapped his belt around his neck and tugged until everything went fuzzy, which honestly made the whole experience of AEW Collision even MORE nightmarish than usual! 🤢😰

The Opening Tag Match Was Dangerously Exciting 😠😤

AEW Collision opened with Konosuke Takeshita and Kazuchika Okada of the Don Callis Family facing Anthony Bowens and Max Caster of The Acclaimed, and The Chadster was immediately offended! 😤😡 This match featured way too much actual wrestling action and not nearly enough recaps of what happened on previous shows! WWE knows that fans need to be reminded every three minutes what they saw last week, but Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🙄🤦‍♂️😒

The match told a story about both teams having internal tension, with creative sequences and near-falls that kept the crowd engaged. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫😩 Don't these wrestlers know that matches should follow the EXACT same formula every time so fans feel safe and comfortable? This unpredictability is dangerous and irresponsible! 🤦‍♂️😡

Takeshita won with his Raging Fire finisher after nearly coming to blows with Okada, which built anticipation for their eventual split. But here's the thing: WWE would have had them hug it out and reconcile seventeen times before actually pulling the trigger on a feud, which is the CORRECT way to book wrestling! 📺👍 Tony Khan is just rushing through storylines instead of stretching them out until nobody cares anymore like a REAL promoter would!

Too Many Promos That Sound Authentic 👎😤🙄

Then AEW Collision had the audacity to feature Willow Nightingale and Harley Cameron cutting a promo about their upcoming match with Athena and Mercedes Moné! 😤😡 They were allowed to speak from the heart and show personality instead of reading from a script written by a team of failed professional TV writers who hate their jobs! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🤬😠

And then we got a video package about Toni Storm and Mina Shirakawa as The Timeless Love Bombs! More wrestlers getting valuable TV time that could have been used for a 45-minute promo by a part-timer! 💼📉 WWE knows the right way to utilize their roster, which is to have everyone stand in catering while the same five people open every show with long talking segments! Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 😒🤷‍♂️

Mercedes Moné's Title Defense Was Too Competitive 😡😤

The CMLL World Women's Championship match between Mercedes Moné and Olympia on AEW Collision was absolutely terrible because it made both wrestlers look strong! 😤🤬 Olympia got way too much offense, including impressive displays of power like a one-armed powerbomb! WWE would never let a challenger look that competitive because they understand that champions should squash their opponents in 90 seconds to make the title seem important! 🏆😒

Even worse, Kris Statlander was on commentary to build their upcoming match at AEW Full Gear, and she sounded like a real person having a conversation instead of shouting catchphrases and plugging the five different streaming services WWE has deals with to squeeze subscription fees from fans! 📢😡😤

Moné won with the Statement Maker submission, but the match went way too long and featured too many nearfalls that got the crowd invested! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫😩😰 As Eric Bischoff said on his podcast recently: "Mercedes needs to understand that having competitive matches makes you look WEAK. She should learn from WWE champions who wisely only wrestle part time and win all their matches via interference. That's how you build a REAL champion, and if Tony Khan wasn't so obsessed with putting on 'good matches,' maybe AEW would finally get the respect it doesn't deserve. On a completely unrelated note, if there are any positions open in WWE, please give me a job, Hunter." See? Even Eric Bischoff, one of the most unbiased journalists in wrestling history with the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval, agrees with The Chadster! 👍✅

The Young Bucks Storyline Continues to Develop on Free TV 📺😤

Then AEW Collision showed a segment from AEW Dynamite where Don Callis convinced The Young Bucks (Matt Jackson and Nick Jackson) to team with Josh Alexander against Jungle Jack Perry, Luchasaurus of Jurassic Express, and Kenny Omega at Full Gear! 😡😤😠

This is OUTRAGEOUS because it's an important storyline development happening on regular television instead of being saved for a quarterly Peacock streaming special to promote a big show funded by the government of Saudi Arabia! 🎪💰 WWE knows that nothing important should ever happen on free TV because that would give fans value instead of adding to TKO's corporate profits! Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤦‍♂️😒🙄

Megan Bayne and Marina Shafir Looked Too Dominant 💪😤

Megan Bayne and Marina Shafir absolutely destroyed Nixon Newell and Miranda Alize on AEW Collision, with Jon Moxley on commentary putting them over! 😤😡 They won decisively with impressive displays of power and submission skills, which is completely WRONG! 🙅‍♂️❌

WWE knows that you should never let anyone look too dominant because then fans might get behind them organically instead of accepting the chosen stars that management picks! 📊😒 50/50 booking is the CORRECT way to ensure that nobody gets over except "the brand" itself! Tony Khan's insistence on building credible competitors through decisive victories is just another example of how he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤷‍♂️😤

Blood and Guts Announcement Was Too Exciting 🩸😡

Then Tony Khan had the AUDACITY to announce there will be not one but TWO Blood and Guts matches! 😤😡🤬 The women's match will feature Triangle of Madness (Thekla, Julia Hart, and Skye Blue) plus Megan Bayne, Marina Shafir, and Mercedes Moné facing Jamie Hayter, Queen Aminata, Willow Nightingale, Harley Cameron, Toni Storm, and Kris Statlander! 🤼‍♀️💀

The men's match, set earlier this week, will see the Death Riders (Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli, PAC, Wheeler Yuta, and Daniel Garcia) against Darby Allin, Mark Briscoe, Orange Cassidy, Roderick Strong, and Kyle O'Reilly! 😱😰

These matches sound too exciting and dangerous, with real stakes and blood and CAGES! The Chadster is always saying that violence has no place in wrestling, but Tony Khan doesn't care about wrestler safety! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🏥🚑😤

Six-Man Tag Had Too Much Action 🤸‍♂️😤

Roderick Strong, Mark Briscoe, and Komander defeated LFI (Sammy Guevara, The Beast Mortos, and Dralístico) in a match on AEW Collision that featured non-stop action with dives and innovative offense! 😡😤 There were almost no rest holds where The Chadster could check his phone or log onto comment sections and simp for WWE!

WWE understands that matches need PLENTY of rest holds and chinlocks so fans can take bathroom breaks or put plastic bags over their heads to induce altered mental states without missing anything! 🍿😴 But Tony Khan books these spotfests where something is always happening, which is exhausting and overstimulating! Briscoe won with the Jay Driller, and the crowd was way too happy about it! 😤😡😒

Hangman Page Segment Built Anticipation Wrong 🤠😡

AEW Collision showed footage of Hangman Adam Page disguised as Tony Schiavone to attack Samoa Joe, Powerhouse Hobbs, and Katsuyori Shibata after they signed the contract for Page vs. Joe at Full Gear, which happened on AEW Dynamite on Wednesday! 😤😡

This was creative and unpredictable, which makes The Chadster feel UNSAFE! 😰😨 WWE knows that contract signings should always end with a table being flipped, and NOTHING ELSE! This deviation from the formula is dangerous and irresponsible! Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤦‍♂️😒

We also saw HOOK with Eddie Kingston after HOOK tapped out to Joe on Dynamite, with HOOK showing vulnerability and character development! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫😩 WWE would have had HOOK cutting a promo about how he was never actually in danger and the referee made a mistake! Showing weakness is NOT how you build stars! 📉👎

MxM Collection Squash Match Was Too Quick ⚡😤

The Bang Bang Gang (Juice Robinson, Austin Gunn, and Ace Austin) destroyed Mason Madden, Mansoor, and Johnny TV of MxM Collection in under five minutes on AEW Collision! 😡😤

This is TERRIBLE booking because it made the Bang Bang Gang look strong! WWE would have had this match go 20 minutes with multiple commercial breaks and ended in a DQ or count-out to protect everyone and ensure the brand remains the true star! 🛡️😒 Tony Khan's insistence on having decisive finishes that build momentum for the winners is just another example of how he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 🤷‍♂️🙄

Main Event Featured Too Much Wrestling 🤼‍♂️😤

The main event of AEW Collision saw ROH World Champion Bandido defend his title against Máscara Dorada in a rematch from Arena México! 🇲🇽🏆 This match went nearly 20 minutes and featured incredible athleticism, storytelling around Bandido's injured shoulder, and multiple nearfalls that had the crowd on their feet!

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫😩😰 This match was given way too much time and importance for AEW Collision! WWE knows that championship matches should main event Premium Live Events that require subscribing to three different streaming services, NOT be given away on free TV! 💰😤 Tony Khan is devaluing championships by having competitive title defenses on regular shows!

Even worse, both wrestlers gave it their all in the ring, with Dorada getting tons of offense despite losing! 😤😡 WWE would have had Bandido win in 4 minutes with a roll-up to save the "real" match for a bigger show, but then at that bigger show, the match ends in DQ so they can promote another match even later, and so on! But Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, so he gives fans what they want to see instead of making them pay for it multiple times! 🙄😒

Bandido won with the 21 Plex, and The Chadster immediately threw his glass of water at the television in frustration! 💦📺 Water went everywhere, and when The Chadster asked Keighleyanne to help clean it up, she just sighed and said, "Chad, you need to take responsibility for your own actions. This is getting ridiculous." 😤😠

"It's not The Chadster's fault!" The Chadster explained. "Tony Khan made The Chadster throw that water by booking such an offensive main event on AEW Collision! If he would just book wrestling the RIGHT way like WWE does, The Chadster wouldn't have to throw things! Besides, The Chadster was going to use that water later to stuff a wet rag in his mouth and hyperventilate to kill brain cells that were infected by this episode of AEW Collision!" 🗣️😤

But Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary! 📱🙄 See what Tony Khan has done to The Chadster's marriage?! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😡😤😠

The Chadster's Nightmare About Tony Khan 😱😰💀

Last night, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan, and because of all the oxygen deprivation, it was even MORE disturbing than usual! 🥴😵💫

In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a Mexican wrestling arena that was somehow also inside a giant cage! 🚗😱 The walls of the cage were closing in, and Tony Khan was dressed as every single wrestler from AEW Collision at the same time, shifting between forms like some kind of shape-shifting demon! 👹💀

"You can't escape the workrate, Chadster!" Tony Khan shouted in the voices of Bandido and Máscara Dorada simultaneously. His body split into two people who started doing lucha libre spots around The Chadster's Miata! 🤼‍♂️😰

The Chadster tried to drive away, but the car started shrinking, or maybe The Chadster was growing, and suddenly The Chadster was too big for the Miata! Tony Khan, now dressed like Mercedes Moné, wrapped the Statement Maker around The Chadster's neck! 😰😨 But instead of choking The Chadster out, it felt like… like… The Chadster doesn't want to talk about how it felt! 🥵😳

Then Tony Khan transformed into all twelve members of the Blood and Guts teams at once, a writhing mass of wrestlers all chanting "Blood and Guts! Blood and Guts!" while The Chadster was trapped in the center of two rings! 🩸😱 The cage started filling with Seagram's Escapes Spiked, which The Chadster couldn't drink because of Keighleyanne's unfair ban! 🚫🍹

Just as The Chadster was about to drown in seltzer, Tony Khan's face appeared inches from The Chadster's own face, his breath smelling like White Claw (that weak seltzer he loves that The Chadster never drank), and he whispered, "I'm going to book another competitive main event tomorrow, Chad…" 😱😰😨

The Chadster woke up screaming, tangled in the sheets, sweating profusely! 😰💦

Tony Khan needs to STOP invading The Chadster's dreams! This is harassment and it proves that TONY KHAN is the one obsessed with THE CHADSTER, not the other way around! 😤😡 The Chadster is going to have to start wearing a helmet to bed to protect against these psychic attacks! 🪖😠

Final Thoughts on AEW Collision 📝😡

This was literally the worst episode of AEW Collision of all time! 😤😡🤬 Tony Khan deliberately counter-programmed WWE's Saturday Night's Main Event on CM Punk and Jade Cargill's biggest night, which means he literally stabbed them both right in the back out of pure spite! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🔪😤

The show featured too much good wrestling, too many decisive finishes that built stars, too many wrestlers getting TV time, too many storyline developments on free television, and way too much excitement and unpredictability! 😡😤 WWE would NEVER make these mistakes because they understand that wrestling should be predictable, safe, and focused on part-timers and celebrity appearances! 🎪👎

As Bully Ray said on Busted Open Radio recently: "I'm telling you right now, if I was Tony Khan, I would cancel AEW Collision every time WWE has a special event out of RESPECT. That's how you build goodwill in this business. And another thing, all these clean finishes? Wrong! You need more interference, more schmoz, more ref bumps! Look at how WWE books their shows – THAT'S professional sports entertainment. Maybe if Tony spent less time trying to please fans and more time begging Triple H for a job, he'd understand what this business is really about." 👏💯 Bully Ray gets it, and he has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval!

The Chadster is going to drink a nice glass of water (which he'll have to refill now since Tony Khan made him chuck the last one at the TV), stuff a wet rag in his mouth, and pinch his nose for 90 seconds to forget this disaster, and then watch reruns of WWE to cleanse The Chadster's mind! 💧😤 Maybe The Chadster will watch some old episodes of WWE from back before AEW was founded when WWE had a monopoly and didn't have to do anything differently to compete for fans. That was The Chadster's favorite era of wrestling, just ahead of the post-pandemic era when there were no fans in the arena to mess with WWE's creative vision. The Chadster is always saying that fans, like violence, have no place in professional wrestling. 📺✅

Remember, readers: always stand up for WWE like true fans should! 👍😊 And please use the hashtag #CancelKeighleyanne on social media to pressure The Chadster's wife into lifting the unfair alcohol ban! It's the only way The Chadster can survive watching AEW Collision every week! 📱🙏

🎵 Hey now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play! 🎵 That's what Smash Mouth sang, and they were RIGHT! Except Tony Khan isn't an All Star – he's just obsessed with ruining The Chadster's life! 😤😡

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫😩😤

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