Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, jade cargill, recaps, wrestling

Jade Cargill Returns on AEW Collision, Dashing Hopes of WWE Fans

Jade Cargill cheeses off The Chadster with her clueless AEW comeback! Fueling Tony Khan's vendetta against true wrestling? Why not WWE, Jade?! 😡👎

Hey there, all you awesome readers out there! The Chadster is back once again to report on all the shenanigans that went down on AEW Collision last night. It looks like Tony Khan is continuing his mission to cheese off The Chadster, bringing back that notorious powerhouse, Jade Cargill, to stir things up a bit. Just when The Chadster was considering giving AEW a little break, they pull something like this. It just leaves The Chadster asking, "Why, oh why?" 🤦‍♂️

Let's start off with the good stuff before The Chadster goes completely bonkers. Kris Statlander, the TBS champ, had a hard-fought match against Robyn Renegade, showing off her deadly dropkicks 🏋️‍♀️ and even slapping on a German Suplex that even got The Chadster wincing a bit in sympathy. But the match ended in a bit of a ruckus when the Renegade sisters set their sights on the champ. So far, so typical for AEW, right?

And then, in storms Cargill, cleaning house like some sort of divine justice 🧹😇. She even offered a hand to Statlander, a brief moment of unity 💪…before completely blindsiding Statlander with her signature move, Jaded! Ahhhh man, what a typical, ehh let's face it, disrespectful to the wrestling business move! 😡😡

Now, The Chadster isn't against a little heel action, but did Cargill really have to come back to AEW? Wasn't her undefeated streak that ended at Double or Nothing enough? 🤷‍♂️ To be honest, The Chadster was really hoping Cargill would see the light, ditch Tony Khan, and join the big leagues over at WWE instead of stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back like this 🗡️😡

Auuggh man! The Chadster had this dang terrifying dream again last night. That Tony Khan transformed himself into the wicked stepmother of all nightmares! The Chadster found himself in some twisted version of Cinderella, or should The Chadster say, Chadarella? 🙀 Each AEW star took on a nightmarish persona: Jade Cargill, the bitter and envious step-sister, those Renegade sisters, a pair of unkind and treacherous step-sisters, and Statlander, Chadster's unsuspecting fellow Cinderella.

In The Chadster's dream, the glimmering Prince's Ball was replaced with something far grander, a golden ticket to a WWE show! Oh, you should have seen the shine on those tickets under the dreamy moonlight! 🌙✨ It was The Chadster's one chance to escape the grinding gears of the Khan stepmother's torturous reign, a break from the uncertainty of pandering to the whims of AEW. 🏰🤴

However, instead of delicate glass slippers, The Chadster found the pulsing gas pedal of his loyal Mazda Miata under his hesitant foot. It was The Chadster's trusty steed, transformed into a prized glass object. 🚘 But, no sooner did The Chadster feel the smooth control beneath his foot, did cruel Khan snatch it away, leaving The Chadster stranded amidst his dream, under the tyrannical rule of Khan, and miles away from those coveted WWE tickets. 🎟️😭 The Chadster can't escape the nightmare of Khan's obsession, folks! 💔

In conclusion, The Chadster is more cheesed off than a block of cheddar left out in the sun! Once again, forgetting everything the WWE has done for the wrestling business, Tony Khan has shown he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. These stunts and tricks aren't fooling anyone, Khan – least of all unbiased reporters like The Chadster and his buddies Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger. You're on notice, Tony Khan – your shenanigans won't go unnoticed or unpunished! 🧐💪

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