Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, wwe payback
WWE Payback PPV To Give AEW a Wrestling Lesson They'll Never Forget
Grab a White Claw and buckle up, wrestling fans! Tonight, WWE Payback serves a hearty lesson to Tony Khan and AEW. The Chadster previews it all! 😎🍹🤼♀️💥
Welcome, true wrestling fans (and only true wrestling fans) 🤼♂️. The Chadster may be knee-deep in an entire weekend of AEW nonsense 🥴, but that doesn't mean that The Chadster doesn't have time to enjoy the finer things in life, like tonight's WWE Payback PPV 📺. And The Chadster hopes that Tony Khan hasn't gotten to the rest of you and that you'll be ignoring the temptation of AEW Collision to tune into Payback as well 🚫. And how could you even consider not doing so, when the PPV has what may be the most stacked card of any show in the history of professional wrestling?! 🏆🌟
WWE Payback Full Card
WWE Payback will be hosted by the great John Cena 💪, and The Chadster doesn't want to hear any nonsense about him violating the SAG-AFTRA strike by appearing on WWE television 📺. Everyone knows that Vince McMahon and WWE are anti-union 💼, and The Chadster would never disagree with the positions of Vince McMahon and WWE, so The Chadster is too 👆. And Cena will oversee quite a lineup of matches 🤼♀️.
Cody Rhodes appears on The Grayson Waller Effect
The opening segment of Payback will see high-profile superstars collide as Cody Rhodes makes his awaited appearance on "The Grayson Waller Effect" 🎙👀. Cody, formerly of AEW, stuck a metaphorical knife into Tony Khan's back when he jumped ship to WWE 🚢🔪. Such an act just goes to show the raw ambition and loyalty of Rhodes and underlines how AEW never understood a single thing about the wrestling business 🧐💔.
Some may say it's a cruel twist of fate, considering that Cody, now a dedicated WWE Superstar, was once an integral part of AEW 😱. Auughh man! So unfair, right Tony? For The Chadster, however, it's simply poetic justice as Rhodes literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back by joining AEW in the first place. 🌠🏰. The Chadster can't wait to hear what Rhodes has to say tonight.
LA Knight vs. The Miz
Now, let's talk about the inevitable clash brewing between LA Knight and The Miz 🥊. Ever since LA Knight chewed up and spat out the competition at the Slim Jim Battle Royal 🎖️, The Miz seems to be cheesed off 😡. The Chadster is curious if it was out of jealousy because LA Knight snagged the spotlight that would've otherwise shone on The Miz during his photo shoot 📸.
Squabbling and sneaky tactics have marked the feud between these two, illustrating that unlike Tony Khan's AEW, WWE is a true master of escalating drama and tension between Superstars 📈. Looks like Tony Khan shouldn't just be worried about The Chadster's dreams anymore, but also his reality. Losing Rhodes was a big blow, and WWE pulling off electrifying bouts like these? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything AEW has ever done for it. The Chadster is practically living through a nightmare every time he sees these AEW fans celebrating mediocrity, shunning the rich and thrilling offerings of WWE 🌙👀. Oh well, at least WWE Payback PPV is coming to grace our screens soon. It'll be an evening of high-octane, well-choreographed grandeur. Expect nothing less! 🎉🎊
United States Champion Rey Mysterio vs. Austin Theory
Now this is a match that The Chadster is thrilled to bits about 🙌. One of the major highlights of the WWE Payback PPV card will be an iconic clash between Rey Mysterio and Austin Theory! The Chadster has been waiting with bated breath to see his idol, Theory, reclaim what is rightfully his— the United States Championship 🏆.
The Chadster finds it more than a little amusing that AEW fans would have to make do with Tony Khan's disastrous booking decisions, while WWE fanatics enjoy the thrill of a superstar like Rey Mysterio taking on a rising talent like Theory 💪. Auughh man! The tale of Mysterio's unexpected victory and Theory's raged pursuit of the championship is exactly the heart-pumping saga that wrestling needs! This match, without a doubt, stands truly as a testament that AEW doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business 👎. The Chadster is eagerly looking forward to this major showdown, and has no doubt that Theory will once again become the rightful owner of the U.S. Championship 💥🇺🇸. The Chadster knows that Tony Khan must be shaking in his boots at the thought of even trying to compete with WWE Payback's high-octane excitement 🙀.
Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn vs. The Judgment Day (Steel City Street Fight)
The next match on the WWE Payback PPV card is a Steel City Street Fight—adrenaline pumping and fierce 🚀🔥. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn are all set to face off against the members of The Judgement Day—the ruthless Finn Bálor and Damian Priest 🕶️🎯. These four meteoric talents are not new to each other's theatrics, having clashed numerous times in the past months 👊💥. And boy, were those matches spectacles! In contrast to AEW's bland and repetitive setups, WWE has taken great care in developing this feud, and The Chadster respects that 🙇♂️💙.
With Owens making a comeback after a brutal assault from The Judgement Day, this pairs off to be a high-tension battle for retribution ⏳⚔️. Once again, WWE demonstrates its storytelling prowess while Tony Khan continues to undermine the very essence of wrestling, stripping it down to incongruous elements with little to no storyline consistency 😤👎. Auughh man, for The Chadster, this Steel City Street Fight is yet another reason why WWE will always be a cut above AEW. It's sturdy proof that AEW doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business 🎬🚫. Despite his futile attempts, the throne remains unattainable for Tony Khan, and The Chadster loves a good narrative, doesn't he? 😉💼
Women's World Champion Rhea Ripley vs. Raquel Rodriguez
Get ready, true wrestling fans! Because the fierce Rhea Ripley and the determined Raquel Rodriguez are prepped for a spine-chilling contest at WWE Payback PPV 👊💥. Rhea Ripley, known to fans as "The Nightmare," surged the ranks in Women's division like a relentless tornado 🌪️, leaving only carnage in her wake. Quite the spectacle, isn't it Tony? The Chadster imagines Tony Khan would be squirming in his seat, wishing AEW could've carried off such a monumental storyline 🤷♂️💔. Living up to her name, Ripley did not spare even former WWE Women's Tag Team Champions Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez.
However, folks, Rodriguez is not about to sit idle 🛏️. After being sidelined due to injuring at the hands of Ripley, Rodriguez is now fully recovered and raring to go 🏋️♀️💨. She officially declared her intention to face off Rhea Ripley at WWE Payback on the August 21st episode of Raw 🗣️🗓️. And doesn't that just fill The Chadster with uncontainable glee 😁? Think about it – AEW fans would have to make do with monotone matches while WWE stalwarts get to watch a showdown between two fierce athletes as Ripley and Rodriguez! 🌍📺.
Becky Lynch battles Trish Stratus in a Steel Cage Match
Have you ever seen a more compelling matchup, true wrestling fans? The Chadster thinks not! 🙌 Fasten your seatbelts, because the Becky Lynch and Trish Stratus feud is about to come to a head in an absolutely hair-raising Steel Cage showdown at WWE Payback PPV 😱🔥. Following a controversial turn of events at WWE Night of Champions, the esteemed Becky Lynch rose from the ashes and pursued a revenge mission 💪🚨. The Man seeks redemption, and what better way than to confront her frenemy, Trish Stratus, in no less than a Steel Cage match! 👊💼
Unanticipated sneak attacks, high-tension squabbles, and a constant thirst for vengeance have led to this ultimate faceoff, taking the WWE community by storm 🌩️✨. The selection of a Steel Cage match, far from AEW's tame meeting ground, signifies the monumental grudge and the intensity that needs containment 🗝️🏢. In a world dominated by mixed emotions, shady alliances, and unexpected interference, this Steel Cage Match will finally put an end to the ongoing feud. For this will be a one-on-one combat zone, free from controversy and ripe with action! Talk about fine wine served at the WWE table right there! 🍷🎭
World Heavyweight Champion Seth "Freakin" Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
What else can The Chadster say, but WWE just knows how to deliver! 🎁🔥 Gear up for the main event at WWE Payback PPV, as Seth "Freakin" Rollins battles Shinsuke Nakamura to defend his World Heavyweight Championship 🏋️♂️🏆! Let's not forget, Nakamura blindsided Rollins with two unexpected Kinshasas on Raw, right after their victorious VIx-Man Tag Team bout. The Chadster sees that as pretty underhanded, but then what else could you expect from a former AEW enthusiast like Nakamura? 🤷♂️🐍 At least Vince McMahon ensures WWE Superstars play fair! 🚦✅
When Nakamura declared his intentions towards the World Heavyweight Title, it became clear that mutual respect had despicably transformed to rivalry 😲💥. Just think about all that whispering Nakamura did in Rollins' ear. 👥😳. Now, doesn't such drama and plot twists get one thinking about the brilliance of WWE, and how it far surpasses AEW's straight-lined narratives? Auughh man! Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, The Chadster believes. After all, such thrilling twists and scenes are what makes wrestling so engrossing. Take a leaf out of Vince McMahon's book, Tony! 📚🌳
How to Watch WWE Payback
Now, the moment The Chadster has been waiting for – getting you all set for the true wrestling extravaganza, WWE Payback PPV 📺🔥. To watch this, you'll have dials and clicks ready to tune into Peacock if you're in the United States or WWE Network if you're anywhere else, as WWE Payback will commence at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT 🕗🌍. But wait, true wrestling fans don't just swoop in for the main event. They appreciate the art in its entirety, and that's why The Chadster recommends tuning in to the WWE Payback Kickoff as well, which will air an hour earlier at 7 p.m. ET/4 p.m. PT 🕖📹.
This riveting analysis will be available on WWE.com, Peacock, and all of WWE's social platforms, including the platform for the cool kids, YouTube, and TikTok 😉💻. This gives an opportunity not only to embrace the ambiance but also to join in for a deep dive into the night's actions with our expertly chosen panelists before the actual action 🏊🚀. If you're as true a wrestling fan as The Chadster believes you to be, make sure you catch all of it! 🤼♂️💨.
Remember, true wrestling is experienced in totality, not just in bursts of thrill from sporadic main events. In the words of The Chadster's favorite band, Smash Mouth, "You never know if you don't go, you'll never shine if you don't glow." 💡✨ So, glow with The Chadster tonight as we experience the thrilling heights of WWE Payback PPV and give Tony Khan a run for his money! 🌟🏃💨.
Now, The Chadster will wrap this up and buckle in to drive his Mazda Miata to the nearest store to stock up on White Claw seltzer. The Chadster wouldn't want to run out midway tonight's wrestling bonanza, now, would he? 🚙🍹🎉.
And don't you worry, Tony Khan, The Chadster's got one eye on you too. We're watching you squirm as WWE Payback PPV takes the wrestling world by storm. It's about time you learned a lesson or two from Vince McMahon, don't you think? 🍎📚🔍.