Another Monday, another episode of WWE Raw for beleaguered wrestling fans to slog through purely out of habit. Tonight: Christian returns to Raw to host Edge on The Peep Show. The Viking Raiders and the Street Profits will get involved in more shenanigans. MVP will host Bobby Lashley in the MVP lounge. Performance Center standees will do their best to seem excited while suffering from severe sciatic nerve pain. It's Monday Night Raw!
Monday Night Raw gets started with Asuka coming out. "How lucky are we to see Asuka and Charlotte Flair one more time tonight?" Byron Saxton asks. Yeah. So lucky.
Sasha Banks comes out instead of Charlotte. Bayley is there too. Because of course, we've forgotten all about the cross-brand invitational rules already. Or maybe the tag champs can be on both shows? Who knows? Who cares? Bayley and Sasha brag about winning the belts on Smackdown last week. WWE has finally trained its performance center crowd to boo the heels instead of politely clapping during their promos. It's time to get down to business. These women are going to…
No, wait, Charlotte comes out now. We're not going to get that title match, are we? Flair tells Sasha and Bayley to leave so the match can get underway, but instead, the Iconics come out. The Iconics say the real match everyone wants to see is them vs. Sasha and Bayley, but that's happening at Backlash in a Triple Threat with Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross. We all know at this point this is going to end up being made into a six-woman tag, but Raw has three hours to kill, so the talking has to continue until at least the first commercial break.
Charlotte says she doesn't need a title to be relevant. She calls Sasha and Bayley garbage. There's the brawl. Byron Saxton feels like all of the rules of order have broken down. It's chaos! Chaos! Time for a commercial break. When we come back, there will be a six-woman tag.
We come back from commercial break to a triple threat match, with Charlotte and Asuka teaming up. Okay, you got me, WWE. Well played.
This is one of those triple threats where only two women are in the ring at the same time. Why do the tag rules exist in a match where nobody can be disqualified? Every woman in the ring right now is talented and charismatic, but the Raw formula makes this match boring. Such a bummer after the NXT triple threat last night.
While Charlotte is in the ring, the crowd has been told to chant for Asuka, or they won't get their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the outcast tent after the show. Charlotte teases tagging her in, but it's a fake-out. The crowd does their job and boos. These people have sat down for twelve hours now. They're tired. They're hungry. It's time for a commercial break.
We come back to learn… nothing important has happened yet. So, typical Monday Night Raw then. The Iconics dominate for a while until Charlotte tags in to make sure nobody else is getting too much offense in. Charlotte and Asuka tease some tension with each other, which is unsurprising considering they will have a match… sometime. Asuka slaps Charlotte on the butt when she's heading to the top rope to hit a moonsault on Billy Kay. She runs in and puts on the Asuka lock to steal the victory. Charlotte attacks Asuka and poses with the Raw title. It's been nearly 24 hours since Charlotte has held a title, so she's due for another reign. Apparently, the match will still happen tonight, but it's a non-title match.
Tom Phillips tells us Rey Mysterio will join the show via Zoom again tonight, and wow, we're a half-hour into Raw, and it's time for the first recap of what Seth Rollins said about Mysterio last week. Rey is on Zoom. Samoa Joe has a question for him, but Seth Rollins' music hits.
The Monday Night Messiah forces Saxton to give up his seat at the commentary table so he can join. Apparently he wants to interview Mysterio. Mysterio calls him a son of a bitch as we head to commercials.
Back from commercials, Tom Phillips wants to know how Rey Mysterio's eye is doing. Mysterio says the prognosis is promising, but any further damage could end his career. He doesn't know when he'll be medically cleared to compete, but he's gonna get his recent on Rollins… by hitting him with the 619, possibly the least threatening looking move in the business.
Rollins is upset with Rey for spreading fake news about him. Rollins gives Mysterio one more chance to retire as a legend. He invites Rey and his giant son, Dominic, to Raw next week for an in-ring confrontation. Rey says he's not showing up until he's medically cleared. Rollins starts to talk back, but Aleister Black jumps him out of nowhere, which is the perfect time for some commercials.
When we come back, it's a tag team match between Black and Humberto Carillo against Austin Theory and Buddy Murphy. Rollins is nowhere to be found. Lots of leg slaps, and flippy stuff ensues. Black gets the pin on Murphy after a few minutes, and Rey Mysterio's music hits. Rey Myserio is here at Raw!!!
Actually, It's Seth Rollins, giving his disciples a chance to attack from behind. It's a three on two beatdown. Rollins gets spittle all over Black while yelling at him about staying out of his business. After Murphy and Theory soften him up, Rollins has Murphy hit his finished in Black. They tie him up in the ropes briefly so Rollins can yell at him some more, then they toss him on the ground so Rollins can hit the stomp.
Charly Caruso is backstage with Randy Orton. The crowd boos. Charly hypes the Greatest Wrestling Match ever. Orton teases showing up on the Peep Show to interrupt Edge's video. The Peep Show is next. Christian comes out, wondering how the hell Edge gets to come back to the ring, and he doesn't. Christian was a TNA world champ, dammit! Maybe he'll figure it out during the commercials.
Back from commercials, Christian calls out his guest, Edge. Christian pretends to be happy for Edge killing their podcast and getting to continue his career. However, Christian thinks Edge is running on fumes now. The crowd reads a scripted "you still got it" chant. Christian thinks the Greatest Wrestling Match ever thing is a crock. Edge couldn't even pull that off in his prime. Christian is 100% right. Edge is great and all, but he's not even in the top ten.
Edge has heard enough. He wants Christian to see things from his perspective. He's going through lots of emotional stuff right now. In truth, Edge thinks the Greatest Wrestling Match Ever is a lot of pressure. He's doubting himself. He's not the same man he was.
Christian says Edge is making excuses. He says Edge asked for this by coming back in the first place. Christian brings up Edge's mom, who passed away a few years ago. He says she'll be watching his match from heaven, where it's paradise, and Raw is just two hours long. Christian was just trying to get Edge riled up. He believes in him after all. Christian even thinks Edge can have the greatest wrestling match ever.
Randy Orton interrupts from the Titantron. He's sick of listening to this. Orton thinks Edge is pathetic, and he's not going to live up to expectations. Orton is going to humiliate Edge and send him back home to his family. The redemption of Edge will be over. Edge says, "no, it's not" and leaves the ring.
Continue to part two of our WWE Monday Night Raw recap… if you're a glutton for punishment.