AEW Dynamite Results: Chris Jericho Gets a New Best Friend

In the most WCW Nitro cold open I've seen in a while (and I mean that in a good way), AEW Dynamite kicked off with a bunch of cars pulling up to the Daily's Place parking lot as Tony Schiavone wondered if it could be Iron Mike Tyson and his entourage… but it turned out to be NWO!!! I mean, The Inner Circle!!!

So you missed AEW Dynamite last night. Now what? Do you find time in your busy schedule to watch it on DVR or Fite? Do you read one of those wordy recaps published by other wrestling websites that give you a blow-by-blow account of the entire show and take as long to read as watching it yourself? Hell no! Welcome to Five Minute Dynamite, a minimalist wrestling TV recap containing only what you need to know to accurately complain about Dynamite on the internet without investing two hours in watching it. You're welcome!

Mike Tyson dons the proper attire for AEW Dynamite
Mike Tyson dons the proper attire for AEW Dynamite

#1 ranked Hangman Page faced #3 ranked Max Castor in a match with implications for the number one contendership. In his rap on the way to the ring, Castor referenced Joe Biden slipping on the stairs and the Little Nas X video, then implied Page should blow him. Page wins and then passes out beers on his exit through the stands. Looks like someone's been vaccinated.

Tony Schiavone tried to interview Death Triangle but the Best Friends (now a foursome with Kris Statlander) interrupted to bring up a grudge from Revolution 2020, over a year ago. It will lead to a match at some point. Maybe next year.

The newly babyface Inner Circle came to the ring and immediately turned heel when Jericho made everyone wait through a commercial break before he addressed The Pinnacle (who he called The Pineapple) and MJF (who he called My Jerkoff Friend). Jericho's promo devolved into a stand-up comedy routine about The Pinnacle and he dropped a bunch of f-bombs, keeping the TNT censors on their toes. Jericho challenged The Pinnacle to a Blood and Guts match next month.

No, Jericho, no! The last time you guys planned a Blood and Guts match, a god damn global pandemic happened!!!

Taz interrupted an interview with Christian Cage to invite Cage to join Team Taz. Then Jurassic Express battled Bear Country in a Godzilla vs. Kong cross-promotion match, though it was hard to reconcile the double animal metaphor for Bear Country. QT Marshall cut a promo on Cody Rhodes and introduced his new stable, the Nightmare Family Wolfpac.

Jake the Snake interrupted Tony Schiavone's weekly Sting interview to try to induct him into a twelve-step program. Lance Archer interrupted his own manager to get in Sting's face about how it's Lance who deserves the spotlight. But Sting turned it around and agreed with Archer. He blamed Jake the Snake for not being a good enough manager. Fair. Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page were seen complaining after the segment.

Taz tried to avoid another fight between Ricky Starks and Brian Cage. Then Darby Allin defended the TNT Championship against JD Drake. Sting chased off little Dolph Ziggler's brother but Cezar Bononi did his best to interfere on Drake's behalf. Allin won anyway. But Matt Hardy's stable assaulted Allin after the match. Sting and the Dark Order stopped them from putting Allin through the announce table and Tay Conti got in a scuffle with The Bunny.

The Pinnacle locked the rest of the Inner Circle in their dressing room and jumped Chris Jericho. The Pinnacle brought Jericho to the ring and tried to finish him off but Mike Tyson ran out and beat the shit out of Shawn Spears. The Inner Circle broke down the dressing room door and joined Jericho and Iron Mike, who shared a handshake and a hug.

On AEW Dynamite, Britt Baker says she's going to go the easy route to pad her win count by fighting on AEW Dark. That's basically our strategy for clickbait article writing.
On AEW Dynamite, Britt Baker says she's going to go the easy route to pad her win count by fighting on AEW Dark. That's basically our strategy for clickbait article writing.

Tony Schiavone interviewed Britt Baker, who demanded a championship match and argued that star power, merchandise sales, and TV ratings should count for title shots, not wins and losses. She said she'd get her wins up on Dark and Elevation and invited people to tune in. The Bunny faced Tay Conti with the Hardy Family Office and Dark Order at ringside. Lots of shenanigans ensued but Conti, already ranked number one in the women's division, got the win. She celebrated with Brodie Lee Jr.

Next week on Dynamite: Darby Allin vs. Matt Hardy, falls count anywhere, for the TNT Championship. The Young Bucks vs. Pac and Rey Fenix for the Tag Team championships. Anthony Ogogo's in-ring debut. And Jade Cargill vs. Red Velvet. Dax Harwood vs. Chris Jericho, with Mike Tyson as special enforcer and everyone else banned from ringside. Hmm.

In the main event, Jon Moxley teamed with the Young Bucks to take on Kenny Omega and the Good Brothers. The Bucks hesitated to finish Kenny off when they had the chance, and when Moxley tried to, they turned on him. Eddie Kingston tried to intervene and took the Magic Killer. Omega pinned Moxley and The Elite stood tall.

As usual, a fine episode of AEW Dynamite tonight. Was it better than NXT Takeover: Stand and Deliver Night One? How the hell should I know?! You think I'm watching two wrestling shows in one night? You'll have to check Ryan Fassett's opinion on that. And now, we wait for the ratings to come out.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy claims that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Unfortunately, nobody can tell when the comics industry has reached its "darkest days" because it somehow keeps finding new lows to sink to. No matter! Jude Terror stands vigilant, bringing the snarkiest of comic book and pro wrestling clickbait to the undeserving readers of Bleeding Cool.