Posted in: Comedy Central, Opinion, TV, TV | Tagged: south park

South Park: Kristi Noem Reacts to Episode She Didn't Watch: "So Lazy"

U.S. Homeland Security's Kristi Noem didn't let a little thing like not having watched the episode keep her from commenting on South Park.

Donald Trump may have gotten a bit of a break during this week's episode of Trey Parker and Matt Stone's South Park, S27E02: "Got a Nut," but not U.S. Dept. of Homeland Security "Cosplay Queen" Kristi Noem and Vice-President JD Vance. Earlier today, Vance offered a brief response that may have been an attempt to be in on the joke or show that it didn't bother him, but it vibed more that maybe he missed the part about putting baby oil on Satan's asshole (more on that below). But Noem went on The Glenn Beck Program to play the "victim card," hoping that anyone who was listening would forget who exactly it is she "trumps" for and her party affiliation.

While noting that she hadn't watched the episode because she "was going over budget numbers and stuff" (please make sure to leave your best joke in the comments section below, over what you think "and stuff" was), she was somehow still able to comment on it. "But it's so lazy to just constantly make fun of women for how they look. Only the liberals and the extremists do that," Noem said. "If they wanted to criticize my job, go ahead and do that, but clearly they can't; they just pick something petty like that."

Okay, a few things to clarify. First, Noem doesn't realize that not all of us are "Trumper stupid." If she wants to take issue with anyone who likes to "constantly make fun of women," she should wander on over to the Oval Office for a one-on-one with "The Orange One." Second? Yeah, they did go after Noem's looks – just as they've gone after the looks of famous men and women over the seasons. But the vast majority of their focus was on Noem as a person, like how she views killing a dog as some kind of personal badge of honor, her obsession with cosplay press ops, or how she has absolutely no experience, skills, or intelligence to be doing the job that she was gifted.

After Mr. Mackey finds himself unable to cover his ever-growing "nut" after losing his job as a school counselor, he sets aside his morals and principles for a paycheck from Noem's ICE crew. While Mr. Mackey's storyline was an interesting one that examined how easy it is to sell out when you're looking to make ends meet, it was how the South Park team targeted Noem and Vance that grabbed the headlines.

Between posing for press photo ops, Noem went on a paranoid dog-killing spree, even taking down a dog that looked and acted a whole lot like Krypto along the way. Maybe it had to do with her face being so filled with botox that it had become sentient and was seeking a new host (like in Jim Carrey's The Mask) or her justified paranoia over Trump looking to replace her with Mr. Mackey as the face of ICE. Whatever the reason, Noem was portrayed as a raging whackjob so obsessed with deporting people of color that she had ICE go from raiding a local production of "Dora the Explorer Live!" to storming the gates of Heaven to round up the non-white angels.

After Mr. Mackey is invited to Mar-a-Lago to meet with Trump as a thank you for the great work that Mr. Mackey has been doing with the ICE raids, Vance enters the scene, serving as "Tattoo" to Trump's Mr. Rourke in a direct "Fantasy Island" parody. Ummm… let's just say that it didn't quite end there. After being named the new head of Homeland Security, Mr. Mackey is invited to join Trump in a threesome with Satan – and that's when we learned what Vance's real role is in the administration: "Would you like me to apply the baby oil to Satan's asshole, boss?"

South Park S27: JD Vance Offers Baby Oil-Free Response to Episode

Heading into this week's episode, Trump's lackeys have been trying to turn the jokes around and use them as something positive, or even attempt to be in on the joke. You know, to make it seem like we're laughing with them and not at them. Well, it seems like Vance tried to do that, posting an image of himself with Trump from the episode and adding, "Well, I've finally made it." No. No, you haven't, JD. Being the guy responsible for oiling Satan's asshole isn't "making it." What it tells us is that he didn't actually watch and/or understand the episode, someone showed him a screencap of him and Trump together, and then he decided to respond.

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