Posted in: Comics | Tagged: marvel

Marvel Teases X-Men Series "Fans Have Been Demanding" For June; Bleeding Cool Figures Out What It Is

Rejoice, Marvel Comics fans! That comic you've been demanding is on the way in June! What comic, you ask? Are you telling us that you've been demanding this comic for all this time and you don't even know what it is? For shame!

Luckily, Bleeding Cool is here to help get to the bottom of this. First, let's take a look at the teaser Marvel released:

We know that this comic features both Archangel and Old Man Logan, thanks to a Bleeding Cool investigation that included looking at the cover and recognizing those characters. This could point toward some kind of X-Force book, but without knowing which characters are blacked out in the teaser, it's impossible to tell for sure. We could wait for Marvel to slowly reveal portions of this teaser on the websites of its media partners, but that would take too long and we're already in danger of losing interest.

No, it's best that we use our decades of knowledge gleaned from reading comics (god, what have we done with our lives?!) to figure out just what exactly it is that Marvel believes its fans wants, and then see if those things can fit into the teaser.

We'll start out with an easy one. Since so many of Marvel's books carry this price tag, we can easily assume that Marvel fans love paying five dollars for a single issue comic, so we'll start there. And look. It fits!!!

For the next spot, we know that if there's one thing fans love more than paying five bucks for a comic, it's some Brian Michael Bendis. Bendis has been Marvel's top writer for more than ten years (god, what has he done with his life?!), so he'll almost certainly be involved in anything demanded by fans. Let's see… Bendis fits too!

Now, looking back at Marvel's recent track record, and also at Bendis's, it's safe to assume that another thing Marvel fans demand is that, if the book is scheduled to ship in June, it should actually come out in December, preferably screwing up the continuity of a line-wide relaunch event set to come out in the book's aftermath. So, provided it fits… and it does… this exciting new title will feature a six month delay.

Hmm, it's getting tough now.  Only a few spaces left. What else do Marvel fans demand? Well, since turning beloved heroes into fascists metaphorically has been the plot of 50% of Marvel's event comics for the last fifteen years, and is literally the plot of this year's super-mega-crossover event, Secret Empire, we must conclude that Marvel's fans demand the **** out of some Nazis. So obviously this book will have Nazis, and unsurprisingly, that fits perfectly.

Another thing that Marvel fans love, based on Bleeding Cool's own web analytics, are when Marvel's books get spoiled a month early on Bleeding Cool. So, BECAUSE U DEMANDED IT, this new book should feature spoilers on Bleeding Cool.

Now, when you have a conversation about things fans demand, you can't have it without talking about WWE superstar Roman Reigns. Fans demand Roman Reigns, dammit, and WWE will keep pushing him until fans figure that out. As part of a new crossover between Marvel and WWE, this comic could feature the Big Dog. But does he fit? Of course he does – WWE can shoehorn Roman into anything!

Finally, since Marvel recently canceled their program of offering free digital copies with the purchase of a physical book and replaced it with download codes for a couple of graphic novels across the entire line, and that new program was MASSIVELY popular, the final addition to this IN-DEMAND book must be digital copies of graphic novels you either already own or never wanted. And, like a glove…

So there you have it! No need to pay any attention to CBR or Newsarama this week, as we've already figured out this entire teaser in one night!

But in the unlikely circumstance that we got any of this puzzle wrong, feel free to post your own ideas on what Marvel fans DEMAND in the comments below.

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