Posted in: Comics | Tagged: Comics

Last Week's Comics In Thirteen Panels

Published Wed, 01 Aug 2012 19:00:08 -0500

Dr Manolis Vamvounis writes for Bleeding Cool;

LETS ALL SHOUT EXTREME!

Out of all the x-titles I thought I'd live to see relaunched, X-TREME X-MEN #1 was pretty much at the bottom of the list, right down after "Gambit and the X-ternals". This book picks up right after Greg Pak's ASTONISHING X-MEN run, featuring the continuing adventures of alternate reality Cowboy Wolverine, Kid Nightcrawler, British Emma Frost, Severed Head Xavier accompanied by the one, true DAZZLER! Some things, you simply can't accept any substitutes for! It's essentially "Dazzler and the Exiles", retooled to accommodate more hyphenated X-es on the cover. And I think I'm cool with that. It's DAZZLER LEADING AN X-TEAM for crying out loud, how can you nitpick?

OVERCOMPENSATING

Well, Kitty IS jewish. You'd think she'd appreciate the romantic nod to her tradition. But NOOOOO she has to go be all balanced and right in her head and stuff. Bah! In WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN #14, the Phoenixed-up Colossus is making a rather desperate plea for reconciliation with his trademark on-again, dead-again girlfriend. Mass catastrophe ensues. Kitty CAN do better. The original romance from the 80s was one of the most memorable of the X-mythos, but any attempt to rekindle that flame feels too forced. Not even Joss Whedon managed to make that work in the long run. Their latest break-up wasn't for the most convincing of reasons, yet it was good enough. Now make room for the Bobby!

RULK SNEAK IN AND ASSASSINATE

If there's one person II find more boring as a heroic lead than the Red Hulk, it's the Red Hulk's human alter ego, General Ross. And it's not even about the magic moustache. In AVENGERS #28 Rulk goes solo against the Phoenix Five as he decides to use his human guise to infiltrate Utopia and assassinate Cyclops. Imagine noone's surprise when he gets caught and moustache-raped. And we still don't get the full Rulk vs Iceman fight we have been promised.

KICK OFF THE SUNDAY SHOES

These days writers rarely remember anything about Karma other than "she's likes girls!". Marjorie Liu uses ASTONISHING X-MEN #52 to really examine the character (framed by a stunning and evocative Dustin Weaver cover), her life full of tragic circumstances, her losses and her perseverance. There's a very clear allusion here to her having survived rape as a child which I am unsure if it's a new addition or not but surprisingly no mention of her rather long and arduous sweat-athon through the desert that followed her "chubby phase" (her prolonged possession by the Shadow King). What does make a welcome comeback is her friendship Kitty Pryde, one of the few redeeming qualities of Claremont's second tenure on the X-books (the only thing worth remembering from the unfortunately titled MEKANIX mini-series).

UNCANNY X-POSITION

In UNCANNY X-FORCE #28 the team is transported to a dystopian future where -YAWN- oh, sorry, excuse me, where they have been corrupted by their, um, proactivism and TAKEN OVER THE WORLD. It's a flimsy concept already taken to satisfying dramatic extremes by the end of this first part, as Psylocke undergoes a very touchy-feely meltdown at the sight of her overbearing dictatoress future self. Woe if all the X-men just went ahead and drove a sword through their gut at the first sign of an evil future/alternate reality/clone/body swap self!

JUDGE MARVEL

Because Justice Peace was apparently not spoofy enough, meet Marvel's latest Judge Dredd homage in DARK AVENGERS #178, an intriguing amalgam of their most recogniseable heavy hitters, from Punisher and Ghost Rider to Iron Man and even… Spider-Man? Jeff Parker is making a clever comment on comic book archetypes (some crueler geeks would call them cliches) and their cheap knock-offs, even as his Thunderbolts books has been taken over by these "Dark Avengers", forcing aside the ongoing adventures of the time-lost T-bolts.

IT'S A BEAR TRAP BAZOOKA!

Not really much else I can add to that, except maybe argue the sanity of using such a (genius) contraption against the INCREDIBLE HULK! #11 is another stop in Jason Aaron's insanely enjoyable string of self-contained issues pitting the Hulk against the reverse haunting of Bruce Banner. By the end of each issue the Hulk loses the anger that keeps him in control of his body and zones out as Banner takes control and schemes to pit him in a new impossible scenario by the start of the next one.

WHY DO ALL ROBINS GRADUATE TO RED?

Sure the BATMAN INCORPORATED #3 cover bills the great return of Matches Malone, Batman's fake undercover criminal identity, and Grant Morrison is having way too much fun with the concept of a pair of glasses, a wig and a General Ross moustache disguising the most recognisable face in Gotham – while keeping it credible within the general wacky dark silver age-y feel of this book. It's the same principle that allows a pint-sized runt like Damian to don a new secret identity as "Redbird" to go out after having faked his death in the end of last issue.

KID NECROPHILIA

Hey, you went there first, KID ETERNITY! The new NATIONAL COMICS feature series re-introduces the classic golden age character back in his Christopher Freeman alias (any connection between this incarnation and Captain Marvel Jr remains to be seen) in a decidedly "TV procedural" setting, courtesy of writer Jeff Lemire. Freeman is a mortuary worker who is able to bring back the spirits of the recently deceased and partner up with them in order to solve their murders. The "pilot" issue does a great job of introducing the character and premise, even offering a couple of stock twists along the way to keep things fresh. Cully Humner and Derec Donovan are a great match for each other on art . I'm still unsure what their process is here, with some pages looking a bit more like each one's signature style, yet all of them meshing together seamlessly.

NO, THE OTHER BOY MAGE

That was not even the most high profile Vertigo 52-sation of the week! JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK #11 brings Tim Hunter (of BOOKS OF MAGIC fame) into the mainstream DC universe, albeit in a way that colours him as a rather generic Harry Potter homage, rather than an original character (who predates the Rowling craze). I was under the impression that DC had reinstated the Editor's Notes boxes just for cases like this. Yet there's not a single reference to the classic Neil Gaiman BOOKS OF MAGIC mini-series anywhere in this issue.

VISIT SCENIC QUOR'TOTH

It's been, what, 10 years since Quor'Toth, the hell dimension where Angel's son was banished to grow up in, was "introduced" in the TV series. Unless I'm mistaken (and that's what the comments section is for), ANGEL AND FAITH #12 is the first time we get a real visual of the place, unconcerned with TV censors and, most importantly, budget considerations. Angel & son, accompanied by Faith and newest regular cast member Willow, travel to "darkest of the dark worlds" in their quest to restore magic in the world. The true horror of the place comes not from any scenery-chewing demons, but from the realisation of its effect on Connor and the way his character behaves in this setting.

THE ULTIMATE STR8 GEEK FANTASY

It's a stripper dressed like Emma Frost who likes all the same comics you do. And that's (probably) not even the most unlikely plot point in Zenescope's IRRESISTIBLE #1 where a hopelessly romantic geek gets his wish granted and becomes the ultimate chick magnet, only to soon discover that [INSERT STANDARD HOLLYWOOD MORAL LESSON ABOUT BEING CAREFUL WHAT TO ASK FOR]

MIND THE SPOILERS

A TASTE OF CROSSOVERS TO COME

Geoff Johns does love his foreshadow-y things. GREEN LANTERN #11 gives us a glimpse of the upcoming GL-titles crossover featuring the "Third Army", the new muslim GL, a Red Lantern Kyle Rayner and (finally) a host for the White Lantern ring! Even I'll admit these color wars are getting a bit too tedious. Johns' continuity-rich storytelling has become a crutch in the DCNu, with the seasoned reader (to whom this is supposedly geared towards) having to constantly second guess the laws surrounding the referred continuity.

The AVX books this weeks went a long way towards showing "the other" side of the mutant camp (also known as the ones that still hold their sanity) as we move towards the finale of the crossover and the Phoenix Five are flying sky high off their rails, and lots more people are beginning to take notice. Over at DC, the Vertigo integration is in full swing with Tim Hunter and Kid Eternity folding back into the "dark" corner of the superhero universe.

WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN and BATMAN INCORPORATED were the most well-rounded reads this week from each universe. ASTONISHING X-MEN still stood out as the most rewarding read, with a much-deserved introspective look at Karma. Hey, after outing her, sticking her perpetually in a variation of her old school uniform, raping her, killing her, fattening her up, sticking her in the desert to melt the fat away and then CUTTING OFF HER DAMN LEG, this is the least they could do.

Oh and hey, Dazzler is now leading her own damn team of X-Men. With her very own Wolverine and everything. Definitely a sign of the end times.

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!