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Post Modern Myths #1 by Eric M Esquivel – A Question of Lineage

Published Tue, 13 Apr 2010 09:00:29 -0500

What's good, nerd folk?

My name is Eric M. Esquivel, and unless you're my mother and you've finally figured out how to "get on the line", odds are you have absolutely no idea who I am.

Alright, I'll concede that it's possible that you're one of the kids who follow my free autobio strips on Modern Mythology Press. Stranger things have happened.

Fact is: you could be one of the sorority girls who accidentally wandered into my panel with Jeff Marriotte & Dave Baker at the University of Arizona's "Tucson Festival of Books", last month and stayed to heckle me about my Purple Rain inspired attire. Could be.

For all I know, you could be one of the four hundred spammers who follow me on Twitter (and, if so—no joking around for a second— @IncreaseStamina69, I really need you to stop following me. You are the Scarlet Letter of the 2010's). It's possible.

For the rest of you (if there's anyone left): let's kick it a little avant garde and start with who I'm not ('cause, honestly,–that whole "linear, logical progression" noise is for those squares at Newsarama).

First and foremost: I am not John Siuntres' son.

Sure, I'll cop to the fact that we both have voices like masculine sirens. And I'll admit that we share a certain je ne se quoi with the ladies (meow), but—as of April 1st, 2010—there is absolutely no legally binding evidence to the effect that there is any deeper connection between John Siuntres and I other than the fact that we're both two hip men-about-town, who just happen to have an Asperger's-Syndrome-like love of episodic fiction.

What caused a handful of industry professionals and Word Balloon super fans to think otherwise was a small, seemingly innocuous little pamphlet of a b/w comic book I wrote last October, entitled "The Illegitimate Sons of John Siuntres", wherein the aforementioned (during that whole "sorority girl" spiel) Dave Baker and I give up trying to break into mainstream comics, in favor of pursuing more lucrative careers as Glam Rock front men.

The gag of the piece is that Dave and I can't think of any decent titles for the ensemble, so we name ourselves after the coolest guy we can think of: John Siuntres , the host of an extremely in-depth podcast about the intricacies of comic book storytelling (aka "nerdy nonsense").

Which is not to say that my creepy love of Mr. Siuntres is wholly a thing of fiction! It's not! I've dismayed more than one girlfriend with the fact that my 30 gigabyte ipod is filled with nothing by "Hatful of Hollow", "The Best of R.E.M.", and several hundred hours' worth of recordings of grown men discussing Captain Kirk's favorite color (green).

But….y'know…I acknowledge how sad and unlovable that makes me.

Anyway, I shot the thing over to Siuntres and he was nice enough to type back a quick reply. It was something in the vein of:

LOLS @YOU.

Sincerely, John Siuntres

Emboldened by his token act of acknowledgement, I then sent Siuntres a border-line-one-joke-too-far "Facebook family request" (essentially asking him to recognize me as his son on his personal Facebook page).

I (of course) didn't expect him to respond in the affirmative. It was strictly one last "oh my God, let me make one final joke while I have his attention (in the hope that his Ultimate Spider-Man cameo one day leads to a gig as a Marvel editor)" sort of gesture

But he did. We corresponded once more. It went a little like:

ROFLMAO!

Sincerely,

John Siuntres

HAHAHA. Word.

XOXO,

Eric M. Esquivel

And promptly forgot about it.

Fast forward to last Sunday, when I woke up to an inbox full of emails from complete strangers and industry icons alike, all attempting to ascertain the truth behind the "Super Secret Origin" of my birth.

Luckily, most of said Nosey McSnoopersons and I share a common acquaintance in Kelly Sue Deconnick (author of the upcoming "Sif" one shot & contributor to "Girl Comics #2" from Marvel, and co-author of one, going-on-two human beings with "Uncanny X-Men" scribe Matt Fraction) and she cleared up most of the hoopla with the "in" crowd before I found my way to accessible wi-fi.

Sure, it was a little bit overwhelmingly sad that I finally had the attention of those I would love to call my peers and I didn't have my hard work or any natural talent to thank for it, but the fact that my dad is an absentee schmuck.

But, y'know…screw it. A break's a break.

If there's one thing I've learned from Batman it's that tragedy's only use is as inspiration towards achieving greatness (well, that and: spandex repels bullets. But that's hardly applicable).

So, I quickly scrambled a few writing samples, my resume, a couple of headshots (couldn't hurt, right?) and sent off just about three shy of a billion emails to anyone who sounded even remotely interested in what eventually become affectionately referred to (by me) as "SiuntresGate 2010".

They read something like:

Nope, I am not the fruit of John Siuntres' loins. Enclosed are fifteen pitches for an "Ultimate Comics: Bi-Beast vs. Man-Thing" miniseries

I never sleep,

Eric M. Esquivel

Rich Johnston was one of those recipients, and was so charmed by my youthful ambition that he decided to give me a steady gig chronicling my progress as I attempt to break in to the mainstream comics scene.

Either that, or he feels guilty for having abandoned me as a child and leaving Siuntres to take up the slack.

Stay tuned. Odds are this whole thing is going to end in tears and a restraining order from Janelle Siegel.

Should be interesting , to say the least.

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