Posted in: Adult Swim, TV | Tagged: Adult Swim, Yule Log

Adult Swim Yule Log Brings Hallmark Horror to Our Holiday Season

Adult Swim Yule Log 2024 was the Hallmark/horror mashup that we didn't know our holidays needed - and we're that much better for it.

In terms of holiday Yule logs, there's what everyone else does – and then there's the Adult Swim Yule Log. If you know, then you know. If you don't know, then we think it's pretty safe to say that things didn't exactly go as you were expecting. Welcome to the club because that's exactly how we felt back in 2022. Okay, at this point, we're throwing on the "MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!" sign and throwing down an image spoiler buffer. On the other side, we'll have more details – as well as our real-time running commentary on everything that went down.

"Adult Swim Yule Log 2: Branchin' Out": Random Thoughts

That's right – Casper Kelly (Too Many Cooks) returned with a sequel to 2022's Yule log-turned-horror-movie, with Adult Swim Yule Log 2: Branchin' Out finding a very much alive Zoe (Andrea Laing) looking to make a clean break from the cursed flaming log (and some other not-so-nice folks from the first film) – but the cursed flaming log has other ideas. Here's a real-time look at how things played out (and how we don't want to wait until 2026 to find out what happens next).

According to the summary/logline: "Zoe tries to escape the horrors of the first film by fleeing to a new country, but the murder log has travel plans of its own." Hmmm… I wonder if the fireplaces can serve as some kind of traveling portals (though it would be damn funnier to see the log stowing away on a cruise ship or flying first-class).

Even when you know something is coming, waiting for that burning yule log scene to turn ugly is still nerve-wracking.

Okay, serious bonus points for having the police involved and the FBI on the way – and that there's at least the conversation about reports of a flying log.

It looks like Zoe dropped down just in time – but Alex wasn't so lucky.

The perspective of the flaming log never gets old.

Hey… Fentanyl and a chainsaw? No one can say that cop didn't try – though we knew that chainsaw would come back to bite him.

Nothing like blowing up a police station to make sure there isn't any evidence…

After everything Zoe went through, nice to see her job is very understanding… (sarcasm) – holy crap, this is heartbreaking.

Yeah – Zoe's not letting go of that axe anytime soon…

Yeah – as soon as I saw that sign reading "MISTLETOE," I got a bad feeling. A creepy-looking Santa signaling a trap that blew out the tire on Zoe and her friend's car only added to that bad feeling.

SIDE NOTE: It amazes me how easily you can transform Santa Claus from a jolly gift-giver into something truly menacing.

"See? This? This is how we die!" – Zoe, dropping hard facts.

Sexy Mechanic has bad news: the car's radiator is blown, and it's going to be pricey. Worse than that? A landslide has left them stuck in Mistletoe through the holiday – just in time for…

"The Annual Yule Log Festival"?!? You've got to be f***ing kidding me?!?!

I do get the point about "The Annual Mistletoe Festival" being too "rapey."

Holy shit… was that the dude from that soap opera that was on the TV in the hospital room? Zoe is trapped in… HALLMARK CHANNEL HOLIDAY HELL!!!

Widowed father running a year-round Christmas ornament with his son and mother, trying to keep the "big corporate ornament store" from driving him out of business? IT'S SO… SO… HALLMARK!

Knowing that a cursed flaming log is stowed away in the trunk of a vacationing family's car and making its way here only makes these "Hallmark moments" that much more disturbing.

I'm all about that split-screen moment where we visually got to see that Zoe was in a completely different place at that moment than where "Disruptor Dude" was – a little chilling, actually.

Holy shit. That f***ing log ain't f***ing around. It didn't just kill that family it stowed away with – it slaughtered them. As brutal as the scene was, it was also a much-needed "reality check" after Zoe's way-too-nice Mistletoe moments.

Zoe and Ornament Dude bonding over their respective loved ones being killed by logs (in two very different ways) and not knowing what to do with their ashes was a little twisted…

Sooo… Ornament Dude has some kind of mechanism that purged Zoe of her fears of the burning log, the fireplace demon, the aliens, and the cult family and left her… "Hallmark"?!?!

SIDE NOTE: My apologies to Hallmark. I don't mean this tirade as an insult in any way. There's just no better way to describe what I'm seeing right now…

Let's not forget how Creepy Santa set this whole thing up – and how brutally bloody it's all about to get.

I'm with you, Zoe – "Shrimp Fudge" doesn't sound appetizing.

Blowing bubbles… licking large lollipops on a picnic blanket… WHEN IS THIS ALL GOING TO TAKE AN UGLY TURN?!?

Wait… what?

Creepy Santa wasn't creepy – and he and Holly just put the burning log in a woodchipper and buried it under cement?!?

So… they're the good guys?

Uh-oh. Well, it looks like all it takes is a sliver to remain free – and guess who that splinter ended up in?

Not sure how to read into that freezer one-on-one Zoe had with Alt-Nana – but Alex and Savannah together is not a good omen.

Yeah – I can't shake this feeling that an Alien chest-burster homage is on the way…

Clearly, someone overdosed themselves on every available holiday movie out there for this one because you could not squeeze in any more cliches if you tired – but with some bizarre little twists along the way.

Oh, great! We get to meet Birthday Card Dude's family! More victims! Meanwhile, Nana still ain't feeling well…

"YOU NEED TO WATCH THIS SCENE AGAIN BECAUSE IT WAS EXCELLENT" ALERT: Laing's acting and Kelly's filmmaking combine for a truly horrific physical representation of what is going on in Zoe's mind as it's torn apart by the realization that this curse has returned to bring more terror and pain into her life.

The Nana/Burning Log Mashup is pretty disturbing – like the "ultimate" Lex Luthor/Brainiac "team-up" in Alan Moore's classic Superman story,  "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?"

Well, "The Yule Log Festival" is going about as well as you would expect… think we might be getting some Sexy Firemen to help save the day (or be Sexy Victims).

"Nana never ran that fast" might be one of the best lines of the night – and this might be the most bizarre group of do-gooders that I've seen in a horror movie in quite some time.

A little Sam Raimi there… nice.

As someone who was forced to learn "Oh, Christmas Tree" in German with his sister by their mother when they were little, that "Nana kill scene" hit on so many levels.

So now we know what Alt-Nana and the boxing Alex/Savannah were trying to tell Zoe – it was the ashes of their loved ones that were needed to put the log monster down (Of course!).

LOLOLOLOLOL The ornament shop became famous on social media because it was where "The Yule Log Festival" killer worked because, of course, it would – a very nice touch.

Okay… the ornament shop being saved, Zoe returning and being able to work remotely… something feels off…

LOLOLOLOLOLOL Dead Nana making out with Abraham Lincoln!

Wait… what?!?!? I was expecting Jackson not to be able to let go of Nana (nice Groot thing there), but what's the deal with the "Endgame" of big bads from the first film descending upon our heroes?!?!?

ADULT SWIM'S YULE LOG 2025… pretty please?

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