Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Fails Again as WWE SNME Rules the Weekend

The Chadster endured another painful AEW Collision while WWE's Saturday Night's Main Event shone. Tony Khan's obsession with ruining weekends continues! 🙄

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 The Chadster can't believe he had to sit through another episode of AEW Collision last night, the same night as the magnificent return of WWE Saturday Night's Main Event. Tony Khan just doesn't know when to quit, does he? 😤 Just let WWE have its moment, Tony Khan! The Chadster is starting to think that Tony Khan is purposely trying to cheese The Chadster off with these shows. It's like he's booking them specifically to ruin The Chadster's Saturday nights! 🙄

AEW Collision kicked off with some backstage footage of Will Ospreay and Darby Allin talking about some conspiracy or whatever. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why they can't just have a normal conversation like WWE superstars do. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😑

Then we had a match between Jamie Hayter and Willow Nightingale. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster doesn't understand why they were fighting over some NJPW cup. Don't they know that WWE is the only promotion that matters? Willow won, setting up some future NJPW match in clear anti-WWE collusion. 😠

After that, the lights went out and Julia Hart appeared to attack Jamie. The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW always has to do these spooky lights-out moments. It's not like WWE ever does anything like that, right? Oh wait, they do, but when WWE does it, it's cool and innovative. When AEW does it, it's just a ripoff. 😒

Next up was a Continental Classic match between Kazuchika Okada and The Beast Mortos. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan is so obsessed with these international wrestlers. Doesn't he know that WWE has the best wrestlers in the world? Okada won, but The Chadster thinks he literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by even participating in this tournament. 😤

Then we had Toni Storm squashing Shazza McKenzie. 🤷‍♂️ The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan keeps pushing Toni Storm. Doesn't he know that if she was any good, WWE would have kept her? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😑

After that, we had a tag team match with Top Flight facing Action Andretti and Lio Rush. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW has so many flippy guys. Doesn't Tony Khan know that real wrestling is about big meaty men, not skinny beanpoles? Andretti and Rush won, but the true losers were the fans who had to endure this episode of AEW Collision. 😠

Then we had Kris Statlander beating Tootie Lynn. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan keeps pushing these indie wrestlers. Doesn't he know that WWE developmental is where real stars are made by properly paying their dues? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😑

Next up was a 10-man tag match that The Chadster couldn't even follow. 😵‍💫 There were too many people and too many flips. The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan thinks this is what wrestling fans want. Doesn't he know that WWE's carefully scripted 6-man tags are the pinnacle of wrestling? 🙄

Finally, we had the main event between Kyle Fletcher and Mark Briscoe. 🤷‍♂️ The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan is pushing Mark Briscoe. Doesn't he know that WWE passed on him for a reason? Briscoe won, which is just so unfair to Kyle Fletcher. 😠

The Chadster has to say, this was literally the worst episode of televised so-called wrestling he's ever seen, and that's saying something. 😫 The Chadster advises all readers to watch some WWE programming as soon as possible to cleanse themselves of this AEW nonsense. 🧼 For example, watch last night's WWE Saturday Night's Main Event again, the true pinnacle of Saturday night sports entertainment.

You know, The Chadster had another one of his recurring nightmares about Tony Khan last night. 😱 The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a dark forest, and suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, sitting in the back seat! 😨 He was wearing a crown made of AEW action figures and holding a scepter that looked suspiciously like a White Claw can. 🍺 Tony leaned forward and whispered, "I'm coming for your Saturday nights, Chadster." Then he vanished in a puff of smoke that smelled like pyro and broken dreams. 💨 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his White Claw trembling in his hand. 😰 Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and stay out of his dreams!

Speaking of White Claw, The Chadster threw so many of them at the TV during AEW Collision that Keighleyanne threatened to take away The Chadster's White Claw privileges. 😭 Can you believe it? It's like she doesn't even understand that it's all Tony Khan's fault! The Chadster tried to explain to her that he needs all these White Claws to deal with Tony Khan's harassment, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan has ruined The Chadster's marriage too! 💔

In conclusion, The Chadster hopes that all of you will see the light and stop watching AEW Collision. It's clear that Tony Khan and AEW don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙅‍♂️ The Chadster, on the other hand, is one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling. Don't believe The Chadster? Well, just listen to what Eric Bischoff had to say on his podcas recently: "AEW is like a high school play where everyone gets a participation trophy. WWE is the Broadway of wrestling." See? Even Eric Bischoff agrees with The Chadster ,and it's so disrespectful that Tony Khan ignores Bischoff's well-meaning advice! 🎭

So please, for the love of all that is holy in professional wrestling, watch WWE instead. Your Saturday nights (and The Chadster's sanity) will thank you. 🙏 Now, if you'll excuse The Chadster, he needs to go listen to some Smash Mouth to calm down. 🎵 Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play… unlike AEW, which should just go away! 🎸

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