Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Review: Tony Khan's Evil Plan Exposed

The Chadster exposes Tony Khan's latest scheme to cheese off WWE fans with AEW Collision! Plus, a warning about Forbidden Door's threat to the wrestling business! 😡🚨

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about having to review last night's episode of AEW Collision 😡. Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and The Chadster is sick and tired of it! 🤢 But as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, The Chadster has a duty to report on this travesty. So here goes…

AEW Collision kicked off with a trios match featuring Samoa Joe, HOOK, and Katsuyori Shibata against The Premier Athletes. 😒 Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan is clearly trying to appeal to indie wrestling fans by putting technical wrestlers like Shibata in the spotlight. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it to do this when WWE has proven over the years that it's hulking giants that draw ratings. 😤

The match ended with Shibata making Tony Nese tap out. 🙄 As if Tony Nese wasn't already stabbing Triple H in the back by joining AEW, now he's tapping out to make their Shibata look strong. The Chadster can't even…

Next up, we had to suffer through a promo from the Bang Bang Gang. 😑 Juice Robinson was complaining about not being recognized as a trios champion or something. The Chadster doesn't really care about AEW's made-up titles. 🏆❌

Then there was a backstage segment with Dante Martin, Darius Martin, and Action Andretti talking about some ladder match. 🪜 The Chadster wishes they would take those ladders and climb right out of the wrestling business! 😤

The show continued with another trios match featuring Christian Cage, Nick Wayne, and Killswitch against the Iron Savages and Jacked Jameson. 🙄 Christian Cage literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW, and now he's corrupting young talent like Nick Wayne who is now probably all sorts of biased against WWE. It's just so unfair! 😢

After that, we had to endure a tag team match with Chris Jericho and Big Bill against Private Party. 😒 Jericho used to be one of The Chadster's favorites in WWE, but now he's just another AEW sellout. It's like he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business anymore, which makes this whole Learning Tree gimmick just so ironic.

Speaking of not understanding the wrestling business, Serena Deeb cut a promo backstage talking about how she's going to remind everyone who she is. 🙄 The Chadster remembers who Serena Deeb is – someone who betrayed WWE to join AEW! 😡

The House of Black had a squash match against some jobbers, and then there was an interview with Malakai Black and Brody King. 😑 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan insists on pushing these spooky characters when WWE already perfected supernatural gimmicks with The Wyatt Sick6. 👻

Hechicero faced Matt Menard in a singles match, which The Chadster knows is just another example of the international conspiracy Tony Khan has set up to cheat WWE. 🌎😠

Speak of which, the show continued with an AEW Continental Championship Eliminator match between Kazuchika Okada and Ultimo Guerrero. 🙄 If anything is being eliminated here, it's all respect for the wrestling business and the storied traditions upheld by WWE.

In the women's division, AEW Women's World Champion Toni Storm teamed up with Mariah May to face Leyla Hirsch and Lady Frost. 👯‍♀️ The Chadster couldn't help but think about how much better the match would have been if it was in WWE with proper storytelling and character development.

Finally, the main event saw Will Ospreay defend his AEW International Championship against Brian Cage. 🏆 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan insists on having all these championships when WWE has already Tony Khan is trying to devalue WWE's titles and The Chadster won't stand for it! 😤

Throughout the entire show, The Chadster couldn't help but feel like Tony Khan was booking AEW Collision specifically to cheese him off. 😡 With that in mind, The Chadster has a very important public service announcement: AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door is happening next weekend, and readers need to be on their guard! 🚨 Tony Khan has assembled an international coalition with the sole purpose of destroying the wrestling industry by interfering with WWE's righteous monopoly. 🌍🤼‍♂️

The Chadster warns all readers that they must be vigilant against Tony Khan's tricks, which he will be breaking out in full force this week in an attempt to trick viewers into buying the PPV. 🎭💰 Readers must not fall for it! The wrestling business itself is at stake here, not to mention The Chadster's own personal sanity. 😱

In fact, just thinking about Forbidden Door made The Chadster so upset that he threw his White Claw seltzer at the TV. 🥤💥 Of course, this created a mess on the floor, and The Chadster tried to convince his wife Keighleyanne to clean it up. But she just lectured The Chadster about taking responsibility for his actions and refused to see how it was Tony Khan's fault! 😤

"Keighleyanne," The Chadster said, "can't you see that Tony Khan is ruining our marriage?" But she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 Auughh man! So unfair! 😢

The Chadster hopes that all true wrestling fans will join him in boycotting Forbidden Door and supporting WWE, the only company that truly understands the wrestling business. 🙏 Remember, the future of professional wrestling depends on it! 🌟🤼‍♂️

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