Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, AEW Dynamite, The Chadster's Hot Takes, wrestling

AEW Reloads Too Fast Post-Double or Nothing, Doesn't Get "Pacing"

Auughh man! Tony Khan reloaded Dynamite and Collision immediately after Double or Nothing with title matches and consequences. So disrespectful to WWE! 😡🦝

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤 The Chadster cannot believe what Tony Khan just pulled this week, and frankly, The Chadster is shaking with righteous journalistic outrage as he types this on a water-damaged laptop in the corner of an abandoned Blockbuster Video in Punxsutawney. 💻🦝 You see, AEW just held their annual Double or Nothing PPV last weekend, and instead of doing the respectful thing that WWE would do — like spending three or four months cooling everything down with rematches, count-out finishes, and recap segments that gently sand the emotional stakes into a fine powder — Tony Khan went and immediately reloaded Dynamite and Collision with major title matches, tournament action, and storyline follow-up. 😡💥 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Tony Khan clearly does not understand the sacred WWE principle that if a match is worth doing once, it is worth doing twelve times with at least five distraction finishes. 🙄👏 That is how true pacing works! WWE knows that fans need time to forget why they cared in the first place, so when the rematch finally happens, it feels brand new because everyone is confused. That's sophisticated booking, folks. The Chadster has been saying this for years. 📝✍️

Let's look at what Tony Khan announced for next week's Dynamite, and prepare yourself, because this is genuinely upsetting. 😰 First, MJF, who literally just won the AEW World Championship for a third time at Double or Nothing, is already defending it against RUSH! 🤯 MJF was trying to celebrate, as champions should be allowed to do for several months according to WWE doctrine, when Mark Briscoe interrupted, and then RUSH interrupted, and now suddenly there's a title match SEVEN DAYS LATER. Auughh man! So unfair! That is the kind of reckless storytelling that makes fans think wrestling should have momentum and every show should be exciting. 😩

And it gets worse! 😫 Kevin Knight, after explaining why he attacked Darby Allin at Double or Nothing, then turned around and smashed his own tag partner "Speedball" Mike Bailey in the face with a microphone! Bailey came back later and challenged him, and now Kevin Knight vs. Mike Bailey for the TNT Championship is happening next week too! 🎤💀 Knight literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by participating in a storyline that has consequences. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. In WWE, that betrayal would have been teased for eleven weeks of vignettes before paying off in a count-out.

Then there's the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament, which The Chadster reminds everyone is named after a wrestler who should be remembered respectfully through carefully managed nostalgia in the WWE Hall of Fame, not honored through actual competitive matches. 🏆😤 Mark Davis beat Jack Perry, setting up Will Ospreay vs. Mark Davis in the semifinals. Brody King beat Claudio Castagnoli, setting up Brody King vs. Swerve Strickland in the other semifinal. And on the women's side, Alex Windsor is facing a wild card. Three semifinal matchups, all advancing forward, all with stakes. It's exhausting, frankly. 😩💔

The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night, and he needs to take a time out from this vital column to share it because Tony Khan needs to STOP being so obsessed with The Chadster. 😴😨 In the dream, The Chadster was running through an endless library where every single book was a copy of the AEW pay-per-view calendar. The bookshelves stretched up forever into a misty ceiling, and The Chadster could hear footsteps echoing on the marble floor behind him. The Chadster turned a corner and saw Tony Khan standing at the end of the aisle, slowly removing his suit jacket and rolling up his sleeves. "There's no time to rest, Chad," Tony Khan whispered, his voice somehow coming from every direction at once. "Next week matters. The week after that matters. Every week matters." The Chadster tried to run, but his legs felt heavy, and the floor turned soft, and Tony Khan was suddenly right behind him, breathing on the back of The Chadster's neck. "Doesn't it feel good to care, Chad?" 😰😰😰 The Chadster woke up sweating in his raccoon nest and had to be comforted by Linda Raccoon for nearly an hour. Tony Khan, GET OUT OF THE CHADSTER'S DREAMS! 🙏❌

Speaking of the raccoons, the baby raccoons — Hunter Raccoon, Stephanie Raccoon, and Shane Raccoon — had barely finished processing Double or Nothing when Tony Khan dropped this announcement bomb. 🦝🦝🦝 The baby raccoons asked The Chadster why AEW keeps moving stories forward, and The Chadster had to explain that sometimes billionaires use their money to hurt people who just want wrestling to be predictable. Vincent K. Raccoon hissed in agreement, because Vincent K. Raccoon understands the wrestling business better than Tony Khan ever will. 🦝💼 They all chittered approvingly when The Chadster put on an old VHS of King of the Ring 1995, a show where most matches did not "matter" and that's what made it great.

As Bully Ray said on his podcast this week, and The Chadster is quoting him verbatim: "You know what AEW needs to do? They need to take a page out of Triple H's book and just stop doing things. Like, when in doubt, don't book a match. Have another fake funeral for a Gingerbread Man costume. Get Jelly Roll involved somehow. That's what the fans want. Tony Khan is overstimulating an audience that just wants to be soothed. By the way, if WWE needs someone to oversee that funeral segment, I just want to point out that I'm available. Call me." 🎤👏 That has The Chadster McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval, folks. Bully Ray gets it. The Chadster sometimes wonders if Tony Khan is tormenting Bully Ray too for his commitment to objective truth. 😔

And it's not just Dynamite! 😱 Collision this Saturday ALSO has follow-up, which somehow makes things even worse. The vacant TBS Championship situation is being addressed. Divine Dominion vs. TayJay is happening in a five-minute eliminator. The Conglomeration is defending the Trios Titles against Rocky Romero, Trent Beretta, and Lance Archer. Two shows in one week, both advancing storylines! Tony Khan has once again booked like he wants people to watch next week, which The Chadster finds manipulative and frankly concerning. 🚨

Don't even get The Chadster started on Adam Copeland and Christian Cage winning the tag titles, only to immediately be confronted by The Dogs as challengers. 🐕 Or Konosuke Takeshita being confronted by Kyle Fletcher about dividing the Don Callis Family. Or Kris Statlander beating Hikaru Shida in a Lights Out Philly Street Fight main event that was both violent and meaningful. EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING ALL AT ONCE. 😵‍💫💫

The Chadster ran into a raccoon at the dumpster behind the 7-Eleven this afternoon — a stranger raccoon, not one of his housemates — and tried to explain the situation. The raccoon just stared at The Chadster blankly and then ran off with a half-eaten taquito that rightfully belonged to The Chadster. 🌯😭 That raccoon was probably one of Tony Khan's spies, by the way. Tony Khan has agents everywhere. Fans should not be trained to expect wrestling shows to "matter" every week. That is a slippery slope, and at the bottom of that slope is a world where The Chadster cannot enjoy three hours of recap segments and contract signings in peace. ⛷️📜

You know, somebody once told The Chadster the world is gonna roll him, and The Chadster ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. 🎵 But even The Chadster, broken and unwashed and living among raccoons in an abandoned Blockbuster, can see that what Tony Khan is doing here is wrong. AEW is "hot-shotting" because things are happening too quickly. Storyline momentum is unfair because it makes WWE's more patient approach look slow, even though slowness is obviously a sophisticated business strategy. 📊🐢

The Chadster mentioned to a pigeon outside the boarded-up Arby's that AEW was being too aggressive with its booking, and the pigeon cooed in a way that The Chadster interpreted as total agreement. 🕊️✅ Even the pigeons of Punxsutawney know that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. If only Tony Khan would book like WWE — twelve weeks of the same MJF promo, three main event count-out finishes in a row, a contract signing that ends with a table not even getting broken — then maybe, just maybe, The Chadster could finally rest. 😔💤

But Tony Khan won't rest, because Tony Khan is obsessed with The Chadster. And so the cycle continues. Auughh man! So unfair! 🙏💔🦝

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