Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Review: Tony Khan's Nonstop Unfair Barrage Continues

Another cheesed-off Friday thanks to AEW Rampage! 😤 Tony Khan's latest assault on wrestling leaves The Chadster questioning his sanity. 😱

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about having to review last night's episode of AEW Rampage 😡. It's like Tony Khan is purposely trying to ruin The Chadster's weekend by putting on yet another show. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

First of all, The Chadster has to address the elephant in the room. AEW seems to have a never-ending supply of events. All In, All Out, and now Grand Slam? Does AEW have to have a big event every two weeks? 🤔 The Chadster thinks WWE's lineup of big events every month is the right way to do things, and AEW is taking it too far. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😒

Now, onto the actual AEW Rampage review. The show started with a trios match featuring Orange Cassidy, Mark Briscoe, and Kyle O'Reilly against The Dark Order. The Chadster couldn't believe his eyes 👀. Orange Cassidy's lazy style is an insult to the wrestling business, and The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW keeps pushing him. In WWE, wrestlers actually try, unlike this "Freshly Squeezed" nonsense. 🍊

Next up was Kamille vs. Robyn Renegade. The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW is trying to build up their women's division when WWE already has the best women's wrestling in the world. It's like Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

The match between Roderick Strong and Beef was just ridiculous. The Chadster couldn't believe that AEW would name a wrestler "Beef." It's so disrespectful to the wrestling business. And don't even get The Chadster started on the "Kentucky Meat Shower" move. WWE would never stoop so low. 🥩

The tag team match with The Outcasts against Marti Belle and Allysin Kay was just another example of how AEW doesn't know how to book proper women's wrestling. In WWE, the women's matches are always treated with respect and given proper time. 👎

Finally, the main event between Konosuke Takeshita and Action Andretti was just a spotfest with no real storytelling. The Chadster misses the days when wrestling matches told a story, like they always do in WWE. 📖

Speaking of WWE, The Chadster had another one of his recurring nightmares about Tony Khan last night. In this dream, Tony Khan had somehow convinced Warner Bros. Discovery to give him a TV deal where he could put on a special wrestling event every day of the week. The Chadster was helpless, forced to watch AEW daily just to keep an eye on what Tony Khan was up to in his quest to destroy the wrestling business and WWE. 😱

The Chadster found himself slowly going insane as he watched the nonstop barrage of AEW content. Day after day, The Chadster sat in front of the TV, his eyes bloodshot, surrounded by empty White Claw cans. The Chadster's wife, Keighleyanne, begged him to stop, but The Chadster knew he had to keep watching to protect the sanctity of the wrestling business. As The Chadster's sanity slipped away, he started seeing Tony Khan's face everywhere – in his cereal, in the clouds, even in the reflection of his beloved Mazda Miata. The nightmare only ended when The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, realizing with relief that it was just a dream. But was it really? Or was it a premonition of Tony Khan's ultimate plan? 😰

The Chadster declares this week's AEW Rampage the worst episode of televised so-called wrestling The Chadster has ever seen, which is saying something. The Chadster urges all readers to be sure to watch some WWE as soon as possible to cleanse themselves of this AEW nonsense. 🧼

In conclusion, The Chadster just doesn't understand why Tony Khan insists on booking shows that are so clearly designed to cheese off The Chadster. It's like he's doing it on purpose! The Chadster wishes Tony Khan would stop being so obsessed with him and focus on running his company properly, like WWE does. But The Chadster knows that's too much to ask from someone who literally doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😤

As Smash Mouth once sang, "My world's on fire, how 'bout yours?" Well, Tony Khan, The Chadster's world is on fire because of your constant attempts to ruin wrestling. The Chadster hopes you're happy. Now, if you'll excuse The Chadster, he needs to go for a drive in his Mazda Miata to clear his head and maybe pick up some more White Claw. It's the only way The Chadster can cope with the travesty that is AEW Rampage. 🚗🍹

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