Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from Paris, France. I am here to hunt down Pepe Le Pew, who is on the run after being canceled for promoting rape culture. I have an ingenious plan to capture that lecherous skunk, my friends. First, I will dress as a female black cat. And then I will paint a white stripe down my back. He will not be able to resist, comrades! Then, when I get my hands on him… *makes slitting notion across throat*. Haw haw haw haw haw haw haw! But I'm taking a break from my hunt to report on AEW Revolution, and the pre-show is about to start!
AEW Revolution Results Part 1
AEW's commentary team welcomes us to The Buy-In. Dr. Britt Baker hits the stage to tell us Rebel is injured and cannot compete. Rebel walks out with a crutch and a disappointed face. Baker says Tony Khan agreed to a replacement and Britt found the perfect one. It's Maki Itoh! She performs a song while Baker watches. Thunder Rosa and Riho come out and the first match of AEW Revolution gets underway.
Britt Baker and Maki Itoh vs. Thunder Rosa and Riho
It is good to see Maki Itoh back in AEW so soon, comrades, after she captured the hearts of the AEW audience during the Eliminator tournament. Itoh does most of the work in this match as Baker hides outside, sometimes not even on the apron, and does her best to avoid Rosa, only getting in the ring when she has the obvious advantage and getting out quickly, and cheating whenever possible. Itoh holds her own well against Riho and Rosa, but the end of the match comes when Rebel, proving she isn't really injured, hops up on the apron and tries to distract Rosa, only to get accidentally knocked down by Baker. Riho takes care of Itoh leaving Baker and Rosa alone, but Rebel gets in a shot on Rosa with her crutch, allowing Baker to get the pin.
Winner: Maki Itoh and Britt Baker
El Presidente's Rating: ☭☭½
That was an interesting opener, comrades. A fun match, for sure, with Maki Itoh especially looking good in the match, even though she lost in the first round of the tournament.
There's just a few minutes left of The Buy-In before AEW Revolution properly begins, so while AEW plays us a video about the Exploding Barbed Wire Deathmatch and brings out Jim Ross, allow me to pass the baton to my colleague, Chad McMahon who will be covering the next match. Check back soon for that, comrades, and remember: socialism or death!
Comrades, the capitalist pigs that control the means of production at Bleeding Cool have demanded I provide you with this paragraph of SEO keyword-rich text so that they can continue to fill their coffers with the product of the people's labor. One day, El Presidente vows, they will all die like dogs. But until that day comes, my friends, I must play their game for now.
AEW Revolution emanates tonight from Daily's Place in Jacksonville, Florida. Airing on PPV, B/R Live, and Fite (depending on your region), AEW Revolution kicks off at 8PM Eastern, with the Buy-In Pre-Show starting a half-hour earlier and airing on YouTube, social media, elsewhere There are eight matches booked for the main card, plus on major segment as Paul Wight will reveal AEW's newest signing, a "major star in the world of wrestling" according to Tony Khan. The Buy-In also features a single match, with Thunder Rosa and Riho teaming up to take on Britt Baker and Rebel.
On the main card of AEW Revolution, the main event sees Jon Moxley challenge Kenny Omega for the AEW World Championship in an Exploding Barbed Wire Deathmatch. The Women's World Championship is also on the line as champion Hikaru Shida defends against the winner of the Eliminator tournament, Ryo Mizunari. Also, The Young Bucks defend the AEW Tag Team Championships against the Inner Circle's Chris Jericho and MJF. In other AEW Revolution matches with championship implications, The Face of the Revolution Ladder Match, featuring Cody Rhodes, Scorpio Sky, Penta El Zero M, Lance Archer, Max Castor, and a mystery competitor (not the same person as Paul Wight's mystery person), will crown a new number one contender for the TNT Championship, while a Casino Tag Team Royale match will pit Private Party, Santana and Ortiz, The Butcher and the Blade, Evil Uno and Stu Grayson, John Silver and Alex Reynolds, Top Flight, and Bear Country against each other for a shot at the Tag Team Championships.
And also happening at AEW Revolution, Sting and Darby Allin face Brian Cage and Ricky Starks in a Street Fight. Hangman Page takes on Matt Hardy in a Big Money Match, with the winner getting the loser's earnings for the first quarter of 2021. And Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor team up to face Miro and Kip Sabian. Bleeding Cool will be churning out as many clickbait articles as possible from the PPV, so strap in Sunday night for exciting commentary about the show broken up into highly valuable clickable morsels.