Odds of Retaining Titles Drastic Go Down at Impact Sacrifice

Greetings, comrades. It is I, your El Presidente, checking in with some news from the Sacrifice, the latest Impact Plus special from Impact Wrestling. Every title in the company was on the line on Saturday, March 13th. And with five titles up for grabs, the odds of everyone retaining at Sacrifice drastic go down. Yes, the numbers don't lie, and they spelled disaster for three champions at Sacrifice, comrades.

Rich Swann is the new unified Impact Champion after defeating Moose at Impact Sacrifice.
Rich Swann is the new unified Impact Champion after defeating Moose at Impact Sacrifice.

Jordynne Grace and Jazz challenged Knockouts Tag Team Champions Fire N Flava in the first title match of the night at Impact Sacrifice. Despite Jazz's experience and Grace's strength, Fire N Flava retained their championships. Not so lucky was TJP. Perhaps he was distracted by Joe Biden threatening to vaccinate all Americans in May, or perhaps it was Austin using the referee to his advantage, but Austin walked out the new X-Division Champion, comrades.

Deonna Purrazo managed to retain her Knockouts Championship at Sacrifice. ODB may be a legend in both wrestling and lunch trucks, but she still tapped out to Purrazo's Val Venis de Milo, amigos. But shockingly, the Good Brothers failed to retain their Impact Tag Team Championships. In a clean win, NJPW stars Juice Robinson and David Finlay walked out of Sacrifice as Impact champions.

Finally, the main event match guaranteed at least one title would change hands at Impact Sacrifice, because it was a title unification match between Impact Champion Rich Swann and TNA Champion Moose. Despite moose swagger, Swann proved too much for him to handle. That means Rich Swann will go to Impact's Rebellion PPV in April to face AEW Champion Kenny Omega. Will Impact lose another of its championships to another company then too? Personally, El Presidente is in favor of the redistribution of all wealth, including the gold used to make championship belts, so I am in favor of this, comrades. Haw haw haw haw!

What's that? See, you're one of those readers that like romance. I'mma talk to all my freaks out there.

In non-title competition at Impact Sacrifice, Decay defeated Reno Scum, Tenille Dashwood and Keleb defeated Havok and Nevaeh, Violent by Design defeated James Storm and Chris Sabin after Rhino joined Violent by Design, and Eddie Edwards beat Brian Myers in t ahold harmless match. Until next time, my friends: socialism or death.

 

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About El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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