Posted in: Movies | Tagged: autobiography, books, carrie fisher, harrison ford, mark hamill, star wars

Carrie Fisher Says She Fell For The Wrong Guy While Filming 'Star Wars'

Published Thu, 01 Dec 2016 16:15:10 -0600

Carrie Fisher might be one of the most honest and interesting people to come out of Hollywood. The way she has been so frank about her issues with mental health, addiction, and the rest of her personal life is refreshing in a world dictated by PR reps and issued statements. In Fisher's new book The Princess Diarist, in an article by The Hollywood Reporter, she reveals entries from her journal during the filming of Star Wars and how the physical relationship she had with Harrison Ford was much more than just physical for her.

Fisher talks about how they had 'sleepovers' and that she was very hard on herself for continuing to have an affair with a married man.

"Why have I become casually involved with someone who, if I am being totally honest with myself, I don't care for and who doesn't care for me? And is married?" she wrote. "I'm scared. Scared that I'll let Harrison hurt me."

Fisher, who was only nineteen at the time, got more and more bitter as she hated herself a little more each day that the affair went on.

"The hundred-dollar question: 'What do we mean to one another? Let's define our relationship, you bastard," she wrote. "We could come to a full stop now if you think that would help. … It's now a question of surviving each other's company instead of enjoying it."

She also talks about how it felt when they finished filming and Ford went home.

"He's finished filming and had to go home to his wife and kids. Aye, there's the rub. That's when Cinderella's pre-shattered post-ball shoe was scheduled to drop," she wrote.

Fisher expressed regret at the beginning of the passage on the affair that she didn't fall hard for co-star Mark Hamill because that would have likely been a less toxic relationship.

"I'm sorry it's not Mark [Hamill] — it could have been. It should have been. It might've meant something. Maybe not much, but certainly more," Fisher wrote.

She doesn't use the book to slander Ford or even say anything bad about him despite the fact that he was having an affair. She doesn't believe Ford cheated again and that he " is not a "womanizer." They were all just "lonely" at that time" according to The Hollywood Reporter.

"My affair with Harrison was a very long one-night stand," Fisher wrote. "I was relieved when it ended. I didn't approve of myself. So, I loved him and he allowed it."

Fisher doesn't harbor any hard feelings toward Ford and even forty years later a part of her is still that nineteen year old girl enamored with soon to be one of the biggest stars on the planet.

"So, while there is still time for Carrison to grow old together, that gateway is steadily closing," she wrote. "And if we're going to get back together, we're going to have to do it soon. And getting back together with someone you were never truly with is, to say the least, complicated. But absolutely worth the effort. Or not. I'll probably regret writing this, but if you have the impulse to yell at me, please don't. Periodically, I feel guilty enough on my own."