The Last Jedi: Snoke's Identity Finally Revealed by The Most Unlikely of Sources (Spoilers)

When Star Wars: The Last Jedi hit theaters, the film was polarizing to fans. One complaint from fans is that the movie made drastic changes to the character of Luke Skywalker, and as we all know change is never good. Another problem was that Warner Bros never released the Snyder Cut of Justice League, which was all the fault of Rotten Tomatoes, and somebody had to pay, dammit! Totally reasonable complaints, as you can see. But one issue stood out above the rest: The Last Jedi refused to reveal the convoluted origin of Supreme Leader Snoke, which was a huge mistake because fans spent years speculating on this on Reddit.

Well, Lucasfilm and director Rian Johnson may be petulantly unwilling to correct their mistakes, but one man is brave enough to do what they don't have the guts to: former White House Communications Director Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci. The Mooch didn't outright reveal the identity of Snoke, but he did reveal the existence of a previously unknown Sith Lord, and putting two and two together, we can only conclude that this mysterious character and Snoke are one and the same.

The Last Jedi: Snoke's Identity Finally Revealed by The Most Unlikely of Sources (Spoilers)

Scaramucci dropped the bombshell revelation in an interview with Vanity Fair while talking about his arch-nemesis, former White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus.

"Rancid Penis, you know, he just cannot believe this," revealed The Mooch of his own all-too-brief tenure in the White House. The Mooch's colorful nickname for Priebus is the first clue, because that's also what Snoke kind of looks like. Adding more evidence to the theory, The Mooch went on to describe very manipulative behavior befitting someone as evil as Snoke. "He's just very jealous, can't believe I'm this close to Trump. Priebus had the society broken up into 'Always Trumpers' and 'Never Trumpers,' and he was trying to flood the White House staff, as the chief of staff, with 'Never Trumpers,' and trying to figure out ways to blockade, slow down, and keep out, particularly of the White House, the 'Trumper-Trumpers.'"

"So, when the president turned to me and said he wanted to give me the O.P.L. job, I got a call from Reince: 'Don't take the O.P.L. job. You can be the finance director for the R.N.C. Stay at your company.' Blah, blah, blah," The Mooch continued. "I said, 'No, no, no. I'm gonna take the O.P.L. job. I want to work with the president.' How many times in my life am I gonna be able to work in the White House and work for the president of the United States? And Reince's answer was, 'Actually, I'm gonna do everything I can [to help you].' He did say this because he's a Washingtonian. That's what they do to you, they say, 'golly gee' to your face and they act like Richie Cunningham to your face. They're Richie Cunningham and they're Opie from The Andy Griffith Show, but they're the fucking Sith Lord behind your back. They're hitting you with a lightsaber behind your back."

So there you have it. Can there be any doubt that the origin of Supreme Leader Snoke is that he is actually Reince Priebus? At least, that's what we're going with until Lucasfilm agrees to provide us with any other option.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!

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