puffinbottoms Archives

Puffinbottoms. "To steal a TV show like Game of Thrones, a potential pirate needs a connection to the internet, a device to access that connection like a computer or a smartphone, a file-sharing program such as a bit torrent client, knowledge of where to look for illegal files, and a device on which to view the[...]

Puffinbottoms,  it was always a statistical probability. "For every The Shining, Stand By Me, or Shawshank Redemption," Puffinbottoms explained, "there's at least one Sleepwalkers, Needful Things, or… what's that movie with the killer trucks and the AC/DC soundtrack?" Maximum Overdrive. "Maximum Overdrive," the Professor agreed "If you find yourself adapting a Stephen King story, there's a 50% or[...]

Puffinbottoms. "The trick is to make movies that aren't terrible," Professor Puffinbottoms explained "Yes, to some extent, there's a risk to any production, but for chrissakes, use some common sense." "Nobody was clamoring for a Baywatch movie," Puffinbottoms added.   Initiating a bold economic strategy that could change the way Hollywood does business, Chinese financiers have reportedly asked[...]

Puffinbottoms "When we need our troops to be thinking about strategy and proper fighting techniques, they'll be pondering Bendis's deep dialogue and subtle plotting, instead of focusing on the true enemy: The Purple Man." "No! Wait! I mean ISIS!" General Puffinbottoms hastily added "See? Even I'm distracted now This is terrible!" But despite the warnings of this[...]

Puffinbottoms. "Oh, this is simple!" Puffinbottoms explained "There's a precise mathematical formula that can be applied to these legacy numbers that makes everything make perfect sense." Great! "All you have to do is add up all the volumes," Puffinbottoms continued, "and then you [inaudible] [inaudible] [inaudible] and it all works out like this See?" We told Professor Puffinbottoms that[...]

Puffinbottoms, a real person "Click the slideshow to find out more." Clicking through Puffinbottoms' slideshow, we were treated to seven of the most outrageously overblown headlines produced about an Instagram post by Ant-Man and the Wasp director Peyton Reed "Marvel's Ant-Man & The Wasp Director Teases Big News," wrote CBR "Peyton Reed Teases Ant Man &[...]

Puffinbottoms. "Think of the comic book industry as a sphere, consisting mostly of hot air and straight white men, floating in a vacuum of mostly disinterested readers," Professor Puffinbottoms explained "From within the sphere, when spinning wildly around, shedding space-debris in every direction, it can seem chaotic But looking from the outside, it's really just the[...]

Puffinbottoms. "This is probably the most important discovery in comics since scientists figured out that the testicles of the endangered Sri Lankan elephant could be ground up to produce the raw materials needed to make 3D lenticular variant covers," Professor Puffinbottoms explained "A real, live new comic book reader Can you believe that? Any comic book[...]

Puffinbottoms. "Oh yes, this would have a profound effect indeed," the jolly Professor told us, pleased at an opportunity to break out his chalkboard and begin solving complex formulas "If one considers that the average cost of a theater ticket is $8.84 and multiplies by the fact that all five million people who viewed the film illegally would have[...]

Puffinbottoms. "Marvel's plan to plant 250,000 trees could pay off a lot of environmental debt," Puffinbottoms explained, pointing to several charts and diagrams he had conveniently prepared on a nearby whiteboard "In 2016, the comic book industry sold roughly 100 million comic books At an average of 25 pages per comic, that's 250 million pages per[...]

Puffinbottoms "I have to admit I'm a bit jealous that ScreenRant has won the arms race, but in the end, this will be good for everyone This could be the biggest breakthrough in our field since since James Gunn got a Facebook account." Professor Puffinbottoms explained that Katie McGrath's answer to the question of who would be her "dream[...]

Puffinbottoms, an expert in the scientific field of Lenticular and Holofoil Variant Coverology at the prestigious Trump University "Even the slightest mishandling could result in disaster, and if someone were to use Explodium maliciously, there's no limit to the destruction they could cause." "There are literally no other uses for Explodium other than making variant covers or[...]

Puffinbottoms. "Side effects of reboot withdrawal are extremely dangerous," Puffinbottoms explained, pointing to several posters on his wall explaining the perils of reboot abuse "A filmmaker's body changes from making lots of reboots over a long period of time, with multiple receptors in the brain looking for that rush of hormones that are produced whenever a[...]