short and curlies Archives

This Week I Have Been Mostly Hating: This one fucking woman… This tubby, over-loud middlemanagement skankpig, dolled-up in so much makeup she could've

The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: I spent much of the last week writing an in-depth cityguide to a town that doesn't exist. That's a lot harder than it

(Short 'N Curlies) -- #19 Si Spurrier A historical Twentieth Column (don't be confused by the #19 up there, kids -- you'll recall the wanky Column#0 back

The AutoCue Says Keep Filling: It's all going to end in tears. Crazy-assed political bellendery this week, as the UK Government declares unilateral war on

BrainFart I took a few moments this week to casually spaff-out a screenplay of such glittering perfection that -- if I didn't need material for this

I Fact You, Right In The Face: Here's one for all the Creationists out there to wrap their banana-loving brains round. Folks: I know that -- as far as

News From The SpurSphere: Rum and uncanny Goings On this week, as my time on this Spanish Island Of Odd comes to its last, unhappy month. What follows --

The KeyBoard Is My FuckMonkey: You want to work in comics? HAHAHA. But okay, no, that's cool. Very worthy. Fun! And it's not as if you even like paying

They Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: Let's roleplay. Work's going terribly. Every sentence you write is a jagged-tipped teaspoon being dragged across the wet

The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: Let's talk Plotting. I know: the wits'n'wags out there are already festering-up (or at least anticipating) a bad joke about

Plugged: Twitter continues to fascinate me, though probably not in the way it's supposed to. (A Caveat: I suspect it's deeply unhip of me to still be

The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: Halfway through writing a novel is exactly the wrong time to start reading one. Primates are notoriously easy to distract,

PLUGGED: I became abruptly aware recently of a New And Troubling form of Psychological Behaviour.  I call it the NEUROTIC GOOGLEFLEX, and it is a dark and

The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey I read a Super-hero comic this week. Given that I occasionally write the things for a living, that’s a less common

BrainFart: My next glittering ComicBook GloryWork will be a turgid melodrama about a meek but driven young man from the Wrong Side Of The Tracks (tangent:

(Short ‘N Curlies) -- #6 Si Spurrier The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: Writing comics and writing novels are two brainshittingly different disciplines, and

This Week I Have Been Mostly Hating: ...the false excitement of a Legitimate Distraction From Work (LDWF)... which is then revealed to be more hollow and

(SHORT 'N CURLIES) -- #4 SI SPURRIER BRAINFART: My next comicbook masterpiece, for which I shall be paid ten hundred thousand groats, will have the

(SHORT ‘N CURLIES) - #3 SI SPURRIER BRAINFART: I have The Fear, and here is why: Modern inventions and discoveries lack elegance.  Really.  They're either

(SHORT 'N CURLIES) - #2 SI SPURRIER I FACT YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE: A friend of mine sprogged-up recently, and in the "oooh, isn't he sweet" aftermath of

(SHORT ‘N CURLIES) – #1 SI SPURRIER BRAINFART: The next movie I write will be Jurassic Park 4: ADAMZOIC, in which a group of committed Creationists sneak

SHORT 'N CURLIES – #0 Si Spurrier The other night I dreamt that excessive levels of HATE could cause haemorrhoids. Not in the obvious way - like the more