Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Battle of the Belts, AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision and Battle of the Belts IX – An Unbiased Preview

Tonight's dual AEW shows are an ATTACK on WWE fans! 😤🚫 Don't watch AEW Collision and Battle of the Belts - stand with The Chadster for REAL wrestling! 🤼‍♂️🚫

Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster is completely overwhelmed with the sheer amount of disrespect and sabotage being thrown The Chadster's way by AEW and that man, Tony Khan! 🌪️😠 It's like every single time AEW puts on a show, it's another calculated strike aimed right at The Chadster's enjoyment of the wrestling universe – a universe that should rightly revolve around WWE, the single greatest contribution to professional wrestling, as Smash Mouth would say, "They might as well be walking on the sun," because that's how hot WWE is! 🔥🌞🤼

So, get this, AEW – yeah, that company that's the proverbial thorn in The Chadster's side – is airing not one, but TWO shows tonight. 🙄 Do you believe that?! There they go again with AEW Collision and Battle of the Belts IX, simultaneously exhausting and offending all true wrestling fans whose hearts bleed WWE! 🎆 Why? Because The Chadster is 100% certain that Tony Khan is doing this in order to tire out the fans! Yup, you heard it here first. This is an insidious plot to weaken the resolve of the WWE Universe so that they're too tuckered out to enjoy WWE Raw on Monday. The disrespect – it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 💔

Here's what's going down tonight, and The Chadster is only sharing this because The Chadster remains committed to objective wrestling journalism. Tonight's AEW Collision and Battle of the Belts IX lineups are just another slap in the face. First off, we have the ROH World Six-Man Tag Team Championship, which for some reason includes Brian Cage & The Gates of Agony going toe-to-toe with Lance Archer & The Righteous. As if that wasn't enough to turn off a die-hard WWE fan, there's Deonna Purrazzo squaring up against Red Velvet.

The Chadster can barely stomach the thought of Hangman Adam Page making his return to Norfolk when everyone should be eagerly anticipating WWE's next big event. Then there's an Open Challenge from "The Rated R Superstar" Adam Copeland, and why exactly is there a Trios Match featuring FTR & Daniel Garcia against House of Black? Ridiculous.

Don't even get The Chadster started on the TBS Championship Match with Julia Hart defending her title against Anna Jay, or the AEW International Championship Match with champ Orange Cassidy going head-to-head with Preston Vance. And to top it off, as though he's literally stabbing Vince McMahon in the back, Tony Khan books the AEW World Tag Team Championship Street Fight with "Absolute" Ricky Starks & Big Bill defending against Chris Jericho & Sammy Guevara. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

It's like he's literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back with those bookings! What's up with that?

Look, The Chadster is not too proud to beg, so here it comes: for all that is good and pure in the wrestling world we've grown to love with WWE's guiding hand, DO NOT watch AEW Collision or Battle of the Belts IX tonight starting at 8/7C on TNT. Instead, why not cozy up with some White Claw seltzer 🍹 – Tony Khan owes The Chadster for quite a few cases, by the way – and watch some classic WWE on Peacock 🦚. Bask in the glory of well-crafted storylines and appreciate a legacy of entertainment that respects the business. Plus, your eyeballs and sanity will thank you.

Let's send a message to Tony Khan that his attacks on the wrestling business won't be tolerated! Don't let this man, who's probably right now lurking outside The Chadster's window, casting shadows that disappear when The Chadster turns to lo… oh dang, there he goes again! Anyhow, don't let him win!

Do you think Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger would stand for this malarkey? Heck no! They're proud, card-carrying members of The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club. It's high time we took our stand, folks. Tony Khan, dude, this obsession with The Chadster has got to stop, just like all the text messages that guy Gary keeps sending The Chadster's wife. 😩📵

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