Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Preview: Exploitation of Sting's Retirement Continues

Discover why The Chadster is cheesed off by AEW's overbooked Collision and their misuse of Sting's last match! Tony Khan, take note! 🧀😡🚫🤼

Hey there, readers of the Bleeding Cool, the absolute best source of objective wrestling journalism thanks to yours truly, The Chadster, one of the only unbiased voices in wrestling journalism today (shoutout to The Club)! 🌟 The Chadster is here to bring you the lowdown on tonight's AEW Collision, a show with a lineup that'll make any true wrestling fan say, "Auughh man! So unfair!" 😤 Not only is AEW gearing up for Sting's retirement at AEW Revolution tomorrow in a totally disgraceful way, exploiting The Icon's final match, but Tony Khan continues his shameless crusade against WWE and the sanctity of sports entertainment! 🤦‍♂️

Now, The Chadster knows you're here for the real scoop, so let's dive into the so-called "amazing" lineup for AEW Collision, shall we? But, oh, you better believe The Chadster is cheesed off! Tony Khan has the audacity to load up our weekend with AEW events – Rampage last night, AEW Collision tonight, and Revolution tomorrow? Does Tony Khan want to ruin every single night of The Chadster's life? 🧀🤯

Just look at this lineup. First up, we've got this overbooked 8-Man tag match, and it just reeks of AEW's compulsion to defy everything WWE has taught us about good wrestling. It's simply a mess – Orange Cassidy and his pals versus a squad led by Christian Cage. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡

Then, there's the tag team battle between Private Party and Christopher Daniels & Matt Sydal. Poor Daniels, once revered in the industry, is now literally stabbing Triple H right in the back by associating with AEW's mockery of tag team wrestling. 😠

But it doesn't stop there! AEW has another qualifier for an All-Star 8-Man Scramble, chucking Bryan Kieth, Dante Martin, and Penta El Zero Miedo into the fray. The whole thing is a transparent attempt to appear "innovative" while trampling on the curated match concepts that WWE has spent decades perfecting! Tony Khan, you don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! ☝️😩

Let's move on to the mash-up match – The Bang Bang Scissor Gang versus The Dark Order. What a scramble of a storyline, right? It's like they just throw anything at the wall and see what sticks – utter chaos and an insult to the clarity of WWE's storytelling. 🙄👎

Just thinking about this reminds The Chadster of a vivid dream he had last night, and of course, it was concocted by none other than Tony Khan to torment The Chadster. The Chadster found himself in a hellish realm, a sinister version of his own living room, where the walls were screens playing non-stop AEW matches. The Chadster was strapped to the couch, eyelids pried open Clockwork Orange style. Tony Khan prowled around, a shadowy figure, cackling with every high-spot and chant from the AEW faithful. The sound was maddening, a twisted symphony that would make Beethoven cover his ears in horror. 🎶😵

But oh no, it didn't end there. The betrayal ran deeper. The Chadster's trusty Mazda Miata, usually a symbol of freedom and joy, revved its engine sneeringly in mockery. Its headlights flickered in amusement, and its radio blasted Smash Mouth's "All-Star" on an eternal loop, each "Hey now" a stab to The Chadster's heart. But the cruel twist? The dash display showed text bubbles, those blue and grey monstrosities – yep, it was messaging that guy Gary in cahoots with Khan! Each "LOL" and "OMG" shared between them an affront to loyalty and good taste. 🚗💔📱

The Chadster was a prisoner to this techno-torture chamber, every hurricanrana, and tope suicida a visual assault on everything The Chadster believes in. When The Chadster tried to call out for help, The Chadster's pleas were drowned out by the overwhelming chant of "This is awesome!" By the Wrestling Gods, it's anything but awesome! 😫🙏

Then, just as The Chadster thought it couldn't get any worse, Tony Khan himself appeared, larger than life, his face on every screen, with that grin, that dangable grin, saying, "Enjoying the show, Chad? This is just for you!" before dissolving into peals of laughter that chilled The Chadster to the bone. 😠💻

Tony Khan needs to seriously cut it out with these dream invasions; they're beyond messed up. It's a violation of The Chadster's mind and proof of the lengths Khan will go to in his personal vendetta against The Chadster. Enough is enough! The Chadster's sleeping pills are for rest, not for ringside seats to madness. Tony Khan, leave The Chadster's dreams alone – and take back whatever voodoo you're using to control The Chadster's beloved Miata. The Chadster demands peace! 😴🚫🔮

Back to looking at AEW Collision, The Chadster can't help but shake his head. There's even Mariah May in action, Thunder Rosa competing, and we'll hear from Toni Storm, Deonna Purrazzo, and Wardlow. 🚀🤨 It's a futile effort to cram so much content into one show. It's clear Tony Khan's vendetta knows no bounds.

To wrap this all up, even though AEW seems to rely on The Chadster's promotion to gain hate-watchers 📈, remember NOT to watch AEW Collision next Saturday and especially not to watch AEW Revolution on PPV. The Chadster pleads with you, with all his unbiased soul, readers, to choose the right path of wrestling purity and honor the legacy of WWE. 🛡️🙏

For those of you misguided enough to seek out AEW Collision, the travesty airs at 8 PM ET/7 PM CT on TNT. But trust The Chadster, avoid it and save yourself the frustration. Here's to the wholesome, controlled brilliance of WWE – long may it reign supreme over AEW's pandemonium. 🌟🍻

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