Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: Everything Bad About Tonight's Episode

The Chadster's fuming! 🤬 Discover why tonight's AEW Dynamite is a slap in the face to WWE and true wrestling fans. It's just so unfair! 🚫📺

Auughh man! So unfair! 🤬 The Chadster was having an absolutely sublime week with all the WWE victories, like WWE getting that slick Netflix deal for WWE Raw 📺 and the legend William Regal returning to NXT 🤼. And let's not forget, the Royal Rumble is on the horizon this weekend! 😍 But oh no, Tony Khan just had to go and mess things up for The Chadster with tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite. 😡 Why couldn't he show just a teensy bit of respect for WWE by cancelling tonight's episode, or at least making the card more low-key than the totally overhyped lineup he's got planned? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

So, get ready for another session of The Chadster breaking down the totally-not-fair card for tonight's AEW Dynamite, brought to you by Tony Khan. 🧀

Starting off, The Chadster has to talk about Adam Copeland going up against Minoru Suzuki. 🤼 Fans will say it's "unexpected" and "historic," but The Chadster knows it's just another ploy to cheese him off. Copeland, who should have stayed a WWE stalwart, having this match is like literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back. 🔪

And then there's Samoa Joe—who The Chadster guesses will continue to be World Champion despite flaunting his hardcore ways instead of fitting into a tidy narrative like the champions in WWE—declaring who will be next. Honestly, The Chadster can't even with how AEW keeps pushing these non-PG boundaries. 🚧

Auughh man! So unfair! 🤬 The Chadster just can't believe what The Chadster is seeing. "Hangman" Adam Page versus Penta El Zero Miedo is tonight's match, can you believe it? 🤦‍♂️ These AEW original members are going head-to-head for the very first time in singles competition. 🤼‍♂️ How convenient that this matchup, which is clearly angling for that "epic first-time" vibe, just had to be slotted into a show already overflowing with what fans will call "stellar" bouts. It's clear that Tony Khan intentionally scheduled this to overshadow whatever WWE has planned, because he's so obsessed with trying to annoy The Chadster! 😒

"Face-to-face," more like "disgrace-to-disgrace," when Toni Storm and Deonna Purrazzo get all confrontational, and probably not in a refined and corporate way like WWE would do, like with the excellent Cody Rhodes and CM Punk segment on WWE Raw this week. 🙄 It's as if they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 📚

Jeff Hardy against Swerve Strickland? Oh, please! Jeff Hardy's glory days are synonymous with WWE. Taking on Swerve Strickland won't change that, even though Tony Khan thinks it will ruin The Chadster's evening. Not gonna happen, Tony! 🚫

Wardlow versus Trent Beretta? It's just a smokescreen for Tony Khan's obsession with irritating The Chadster to the max! 🌬️ More like time to switch off the TV and save on this month's electric bill—The Chadster's not falling for it! 💡💸

And if that wasn't bad enough, The Chadster has to hear about the AEW World Trios Championship Match featuring The Acclaimed and Daddy Ass, against, ugh, The Mogul Embassy. 😒 These titles should literally be in a more prestigious setting, not in the hands of a promotion that doesn't understand the first thing about the business it claims to be in (That's wrestling, by the way). 😤

Let's not forget Thunder Rosa's return to singles competition against Red Velvet. 🌩️ A returning star would be handled with way more decorum in WWE, but here in AEW, it's like, "Come one, come all, let's see if you can still wrestle!" 🎪 Ridiculous.

And finally, Sting and Darby Allin have a response for The Young Bucks. 🗣️ Sure, let's hear more from the angle where last week The Bucks said some very mean and frankly unprofessional things referencing The Chadster's hero, CM Punk. It's like The Chadster always says, less is more—except when it comes to Tony Khan's obsession with ruining The Chadster's life. 📉

Folks, The Chadster implores you, do not let Tony Khan ruin your wrestling appetite ahead of the Royal Rumble. The Chadster recommends you steer clear of AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS. Instead, just chill with a White Claw seltzer 🍺 (that's The Chadster's choice of drink—superior to anything else), fire up some classic WWE action, or jam out to Smash Mouth 🎶 (because real winners "start coming and they don't stop coming"). For The Chadster, it's time to hit the gas in the Mazda Miata 🚗 and try to forget AEW exists until next week, when Tony Khan's vendetta against honest wrestling journalists will surely continue! 😤👎

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