Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite: Video Game Street Fight Headlines Outrageous Card

The Chadster rants on AEW's latest antics with a video game street fight! A nightmare edition of AEW Dynamite awaits true wrestling fans! 🐉😡🤼

Hey ho, the Chadster here, and you know what grinds The Chadster's gears? The upcoming AEW Dynamite event, which seems to have been crafted in the hot fires of Mount Doom specifically to drive The Chadster up the dang wall! 🤯😡 Alright, buckle up, loyal readers, because The Chadster's about to break down just why this week's episode is like a bad case of heartburn after scarfing down a double anchovy pizza 🍕😖, which, for the record, is never on The Chadster's menu because The Chadster sticks to plain cheese, thank you very much.

First off, you've gotta hear what AEW is calling one of their matches: a LIKE A DRAGON GAIDEN Street Fight. 🐉🥊 Excuse The Chadster, but since when is pro wrestling a darn video game crossover episode? Auughh man! So unfair! This is just one instance where AEW and Tony Khan directly cheese off The Chadster with their lame gimmicks. Not to mention, The Chadster can't believe that AEW is teaming up with a video game for a street fight. That's as absurd as toppings on pizza—completely and utterly unnatural for any palate that respects itself! 🍍🚫

The Chadster loves a classic wrestling bout seen in the glory days of WWE—the kind that respects the squared circle without needing any of these bizarre antics. 😤🤼‍♂️ But AEW? Nope, it's gotta be all spectacle and no substance. 🎭❌

Onto tag team insanity, we've got Orange Cassidy and HOOK—The Chadster means, talk about an odd couple—teaming up to face the Blackpool Combat Club's Jon Moxley and Wheeler Yuta. 🍊✊ It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it to throw together tag teams like a kid mixing action figures from different sets. 😒👎

And the TBS Championship Eliminator Bout? Red Velvet versus Skye Blue? The Chadster can't even with these fancy made-for-TV match types. It's all about complicating things instead of good old-fashioned one-on-one title matches. Yep, The Chadster is cheesed off, alright. 😣🧀

Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster cannot believe AEW is resuscitating the Young Bucks versus Lucha Bros rivalry, but of course, with a twist that favors AEW's incessant need to be different. 😒👎 This Wednesday, we've got The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson) up against Penta El Zero Miedo & newcomer Komander, with Alex Abrahantes lurking ringside, no doubt ready to stir up some shenanigans. 🤨👥

Let's not even get started on MJF and that whole debacle. It looks like another convoluted mess that's trying so hard to be edgy, but it just comes across as desperately grasping at straws to create something remotely as compelling as WWE storytelling. 😑🙄 It's enough to make The Chadster toss another White Claw at the TV, only to have Keighleyanne side-eye The Chadster once more while muttering something about being 'personally responsible' and 'maybe watching something less upsetting.' But how can The Chadster not be upset when Tony Khan is clearly aiming to sabotage The Chadster's enjoyment with these cursed plots? 📺🤦‍♂️

But here's the kicker—the whole thing morphed from a minor annoyance into a full-blown Chadster meltdown when The Chadster had a signature nightmare last night. The Chadster was a defenseless fish swimming in the ocean blue, and who do you think showed up? Tony Khan, dressed as a shark, complete with a business suit and a smarmy grin, chased The Chadster through the depths of the sea. It was the embodiment of terror, with fans cheering him on from the coral reefs, banners waving that read, "Go Tony, it's AEW, not ocean, but we still support ruining The Chadster's dreams!" 🦈😱

The Chadster was darting around shipwrecks and seaweed, only to wake up in a cold sweat, clutching at his 'All Star' Smash Mouth bedspread for dear life. 🎵💤 How unfair is it that Tony Khan has to invade The Chadster's dreams like that? And why is he so obsessed with The Chadster, huh? It's Tony Khan who should check himself; The Chadster is just here trying to enjoy some quality WWE content without these incessant disruptions! 😠👊

So as The Chadster wraps this up, let The Chadster be clear: While you *could* watch AEW Dynamite on TBS at 8 pm ET/7 pm CT or on AEWPlus.com for international fans, The Chadster strongly advises against it. Protect your love for what professional wrestling is supposed to be and spend your time doing literally anything else, like tuning up your Mazda Miata – it's a real beauty, unlike AEW Dynamite. 🚗✨

Remember, The Chadster cares about wrestling; The Chadster is unbiased, just like Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger, to name a few fellow impartial journalists. 📝🚫👓 Surely Tony Khan's not also plaguing them with nightmares and hallucinations of his smug, AEW-promoting mug popping up in the rear-view mirrors of their cars? 🪞😨

Anyways, The Chadster's done here. Stay cool and keep it real – WWE real, that is. And if you see that guy Gary, tell him The Chadster's not amused. But don't forget, there's always a White Claw seltzer in hand for those of us who know the real taste of wrestling. Cheers! 🥂👋

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