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The Chadster warns against watching AEW Dynamite on 34th St. tonight. Tony Khan's Christmas wrestling show is a lump of coal for true fans. 🎄😡
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, Rampage, recaps, wrestling
AEW Rampage: In Kingston vs. Danielson, Tony Khan Has Gone Too Far
Week after the week, The Chadster suffers through AEW's compelling television programs, sensible booking, and entertaining wrestling matches, not because The Chadster wants to (because he most certainly does not), but because The Chadster is dedicated to the pursuit of totally unbiased wrestling journalism. But Tony Khan has been taking advantage of The Chadster's good nature by setting out to totally ruin The Chadster's life, and this week, with AEW Rampage, Tony Khan finally took things too far. The match this week between Bryan Danielson and Eddie Kingston was so good that it nearly brought The Chadster to tears… because The Chadster was so dang cheesed off about it!
Everything The Chadster Hated About AEW Rampage
The Chadster obviously hated everything about Danielson vs. Kingston. The Chadster hated how much The Crowd was behind Kingston, wanting the everyman underdog to win the match against the world-class wrestling legend, Danielson. The Chadster hated how Danielson is on a quest to have excellent matches with anyone who will step in the ring with him, driven not by goody storylines but by a pure love of wrestling and a desire to be the best. The Chadster hated how Kingston fought valiantly, holding his own with Danielson and proving he could legitimately be a world champion under the right circumstances. The Chadster hated how purple Danielson's chest was from all the chops Kingston gave him. The Chadster hated how the crowd stopped to give Danielson and Kingston a standing ovation… in the middle of the dang match! The Chadster hated how Kingston eventually passed out from a triangle choke, refusing to give up even in defeat. The Chadster hated how Kingston was so upset after the match, refusing to shake Danielson's hand in respect and then blowing up at CM Punk backstage when Punk was being interviewed by Tony Schiavone, kicking off a new feud between the two of them. All of this was extremely unfair to WWE and disrespectful to the wrestling business in general.
But just because The Chadster hated Danielson vs. Kingston so much doesn't mean that The Chadster didn't have room to hate the other things happening on AEW Dynamite. The Chadster was really not happy at all with the match between Matt Sydal and Dante Martin. Tony Khan's insistence on building new starts like Martin is basically a slap in the face to everything that Vince McMahon and Triple H have done for the wrestling business and everything The Chadster believes in. The Chadster hated how Lio Rush helped Martin pick up the win over Sydal here.
The Chadster was also not a fan of the main event, which started with a silly interview by Mark Henry between Abadon, who is a zombie, and Dr. Britt Baker, whose flunkies were also dressed like zombies. The match was… different. The Chadster hated how Abadon played an unstoppable supernatural force, eating all manner of punishment from Baker and then just sitting back up afterward. Who does she think she is? The Undertaker? The Chadster also hated how Abadon and Baker were unable to break a table outside the ring despite trying multiple times, but The Chadster especially hated how the spots actually made the match feel even more brutal, as did the spot with the thumbtacks. The Chadster hated how much sense it made that when Baker finally had a chance to put the Lockjaw on Abadon, she thought twice about it, realizing that the last place she wanted to put her fingers was in Abadon's mouth. The Chadster hated how Baker barely escaped with a rollup as her lackeys distracted Abadon.
Once again, The Chadster went into AEW Rampage, in a good mood after watching WWE Smackdown and thinking that maybe this would be the weekend that The Chadster could finally overcome his AEW-induced sexual impotence and have sexual intercourse with his wife, the beautiful and patient Keighleyanne. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be because Tony Khan has a personal vendetta against The Chadster and probably wants to steal Keighleyanne for himself. You can't have her, Tony Khan! Well, you could have her, if you agree to close AEW and never put on a wrestling TV show again. Auughh man!
AEW Rampage 10/29/2021
9/10
Eddie Kingston vs. Bryan Danielson represented everything that people love about AEW, which is everything that The Chadster hates. Auughh man! So unfair!
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