Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Preview: Tony Khan's Latest Attack on The Chadster

The Chadster warns viewers about tonight's AEW Rampage, exposing Tony Khan's latest schemes. Don't let AEW ruin your weekend like it's ruined The Chadster's life! 😤🚫

Published Fri, 19 Jul 2024 18:08:07 -0500

by Chad McMahon

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Article Summary

AEW Rampage's lineup is a direct attack on The Chadster's love for WWE and personal life.
Main event features The Lucha Bros vs Private Party in a fabricated rivalry.
Trio and singles matches lack WWE's drama and disrespect the industry.
Reiterating an unbiased stance, urging fans to skip Rampage for WWE classics.

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now! 😡😡😡 Tonight, AEW Rampage is set to air, and The Chadster just knows that Tony Khan is purposely trying to ruin The Chadster's weekend. It's like Tony Khan doesn't even care about The Chadster's plans to relax and enjoy some White Claws while listening to Smash Mouth's greatest hits. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

Let's start with the main event of AEW Rampage, which features The Lucha Brothers taking on Private Party. 🙄 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is trying to pass this off as some sort of historic rivalry. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. WWE has REAL historic rivalries, like Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar, which they've only done about 100 times. That's how you build history! 😤💯

And don't even get The Chadster started on the trios match between The Conglomeration and The Undisputed Kingdom. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster knows that Kyle O'Reilly literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW, and now he's in this match that doesn't even make sense. Where are the authority figures? Where's the scripted drama? Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😒

Speaking of people who don't understand the business, Minoru Suzuki is set to face The Butcher on AEW Rampage. 🤨 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is letting two grown men just fight each other without a convoluted backstory involving someone's girlfriend or a briefcase hanging above the ring. It's like he's trying to insult The Chadster's intelligence! 😫

The Chadster has to take a moment here to share something disturbing. Last night, The Chadster had another Tony Khan nightmare. 😱 The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata through a car wash, but instead of cleaning brushes, it was Tony Khan's face on giant, spinning mops, all laughing at The Chadster. The Chadster tried to escape, but the car doors wouldn't open, and Tony Khan's laughter echoed through the tunnel. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, clutching an empty White Claw can. Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and stay out of The Chadster's dreams! 😠💭

Anyway, back to this travesty of a show. AEW Rampage is also featuring Kris Statlander in action. 🙄 The Chadster bets she'll do some kind of athletic move that defies gravity or something. Doesn't Tony Khan know that women's wrestling is supposed to be about promoting how great WWE is for letting women wrestle? It's like he's purposely trying to evolve the business just to cheese The Chadster off. 😤

And let's not forget about the tag team action featuring Chris Jericho and Big Bill. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster remembers when Jericho was a real wrestler in WWE, not this "creative freedom" nonsense he's doing in AEW. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😫

The Chadster wants to make it clear that as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, The Chadster has a responsibility to warn viewers about this show. 🚨 AEW Rampage is airing tonight at 10/9C on TNT, but The Chadster implores you not to watch it. Every viewer only encourages Tony Khan to continue his vendetta against The Chadster and the wrestling business as a whole. 😠

Instead, true wrestling fans should rewatch classic WWE pay-per-views or, better yet, just stare at a blank screen for two hours. At least that way, you won't be contributing to The Chadster's ongoing torment at the hands of Tony Khan and AEW. 😤📺

The Chadster is going to spend the night driving around in The Chadster's Mazda Miata, blasting "All Star" by Smash Mouth, and trying to forget that AEW Rampage even exists. Maybe then The Chadster can finally get some peace from Tony Khan's relentless assault on everything The Chadster holds dear in the wrestling world. 🚗🎵😔

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